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"Fill your mind with light, happiness, hope, feelings of security and strength, and soon your life will reflect these qualities." ~Unknown

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"The Greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance!" ~Brian Tracy

All post and stories are the sole property of Velvet Over Steel aka Coreen Trost. I write and create post in order to help others, so share as you want. I just ask that you link back or give VOS credit. Some of the stories are going into a book in progress. Thank You ALL.. for your support and help!!
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." ~ John Quincy Adams

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Living with Integrity

"Living with integrity means: * Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. * Asking for what you want and need from others. * Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. * Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. * Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe." ~Barbara De Angelia

"If we believe a thing to be bad, and if we have a right to prevent it, it is our duty to try to prevent it and damn the consequences." ~Lord Milner
I've tried my whole life to live with integrity.  Although I'm not perfect and slip like we all do, I have a constant goal to stand up for those being taken advantage of or treated unfairly; those not given the opportunities they deserve; those who need a friend or just someone to believe in and fight for them.

I believe that if we all spoke up or stepped in when we see or hear someone doing something we know is wrong, there would be less abuse and more accountability in the world.  It seems that more people are concerned with their own  careers and social standing than they are with their own moral obligations as a human being.

How some people can can look away when they see someone is being abused; instead of stopping it and protecting vulnerable adults and especially children, is beyond my comprehensions.  How do those who don't speak up, doing nothing, look at themselves in the mirror or go home to their own children and families?  That is the hardest thing for me to understand.

I've been told that I care too much and that it's the mothering nature in me that brings me to help those I see hurting.  However, I feel that although none of us can control other people's actions; we should all care enough to speak up.  To stop situations we know are wrong, anyway that we can, making people accountable for their actions.

I know in my own abusive experiences that once someone was confronted, they were forced to be at least some what accountable.  Excuses for bad behavior seldom go on if others outside of the situation speak up and tell them they are abusive.  It's amazing how so many who believe they have a right to treat someone badly, can suddenly 'stop' when a peer speaks up to them.  But not when the person they are abusing tries to defend themselves.   Somehow it's always their fault according to the abuser.

An abuser has no integrity.  However the knowledge someone else has, can stop the abuse if they have the integrity to do what is right; even if it effects them negatively or has consequences either personally or professionally.  I have no respect for those who have the knowledge to change or stop a bad situations; but do nothing.

I haven't always had the knowledge in situations, where I wish I had.  However I can think of many times where someone has had the knowledge, but not the integrity, to use that knowledge to help others.  If more people lived with Integrity and didn't look the other way, the world would be a much better place.
"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful." ~Samuel Johnson (Rasselas, ch. 41) 


  1. Excellent post!! Love that Scripture verse and the Holy Spirit living within who teaches us how to live a life of integrity!!

  2. Keep up the good work! Others watch us whether we realize it, or not. You're teaching by your example. Wonderful post!

  3. The sad thing is people don't just look away but actually ask the strong ones who speak up, to mind their own business. Everyone is busy and no one has the time, inclination or the will to question the wrong. Very inspirational post!

  4. too good !! your posts with purpose are beautiful!! very well presented!

  5. Bravo!! I definitely Don't looks the other way. I think it is so important to speak up!
    Time to stop the bullying and abuse!
    Stand up everyone!!

  6. Oh my friend you hit a nerve. What a culture we live in that monetary gain trumps humanity.

    And you forgot stupid steppin-in. You know where one stands up for a wrong and gets so stupid about it they win by default. That would be me. :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  7. Oh Jules, that has been me too, many times standing up for my son. I'm pretty sure that been called the 'crazy mom' and have been talked about dozens of times over the years... probably a 100 times actually. I don't always come off calm or gracefully; so hard when others are messing with our loved ones who can't defend themselves. Grrrr..... So I believe I do know what you're referring too. ;-)

  8. People sacrifice long-term value for short-term gain. What a crazy culture we live in. We teach our kids about what really matters. Integrity is so important to build young lives.

  9. i hope i put mine to use well



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