Silencing the Violence of Verbal Abuse

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Poster by: Matthew Hafenbrack  @ Creative Haf Design

As heartbreaking as it is to think about, many people (men and women; young and old) experience and suffer from some form of abuse everyday in this world.  Some for many years of their lives unfortunately.  However, I feel that Verbal Emotional Abuse is the most common and has the most lasting scars.  Bones heal, bruises fade, but the negative words spin in our heads over and over again.  Sometimes those Invisible Scars send people into deep depression from verbal abuse.  Keeping them from healing, focusing and moving past the pain.  It's hard to know you are not the cause when you are told over and over that you are. 

Abuse is usually associated with adults in marriages or relationships and between parents and children.   Now a days we see verbal and emotional abuse in not only in homes but also on the playgrounds, in the schools and even in work places.  It is even on the Internet in cyber space, referred to as Cyber Bullying.  The effects of verbal and emotional abuse are much more devastating to children and teens who are already struggling to fit in, make friends and build their self-esteem.

I was first a child watching abuse growing up, which effected my relationships later on; then I was the victum myself in an abusive marriage.  I know in my own experience it took me many years to heal and to get my self-esteem back. However the abuse in front of my children was the most devastating to me. The effects of experiencing or witnessing verbal abuse by children can cause more long-term, psychological damage than physical abuse.  They also could have learned and believed that that is how a woman should be treated  However, they saw the abuse for what it was...  Abuse... and how horribly wrong it was!  

As grown men now, all 3 are incredibly compassionate and protective of woman. They have told me the lessons they learned, which are how not to treat someone and how not to tolerate anyone else they see being abusive. I am so thankful and so proud of them!!!

The poster above was created by my middle son, a graphic designer Creative Haf Design.  He did this as a volunteer project to Stop Verbal Abuse.  He is a very talented and like his brothers, is passionate about speaking up for the protection of women and stopping abuse for both men and women, Silencing the Violence once and for all!  We discussed the role of men in a previous post Until Men say something.... the abuse won't stop.

I am a much stronger and confident person now a days and know that who I am today is partly because of what I went through yesterday.

Even though I have forgiven those who have hurt me and have moved past the pain, I feel I am suppose to write and use my life experiences to help other woman (and men) who have gone through or continue to go through similar experiences.

I truly believe that God uses our life experiences, both good and bad, to learn valuable life lessons, to grow emotionally and spiritually... as well as help others if we so choose. 

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." ~ Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Poster by: Matthew Hafenbrack @ Creative Haf Design

Below are some good articles on this subject:
Verbal Abuse Definition
Verbal Abuse - The Characteristics
The Verbal Abuse Site with video examples
How Can Someone Identify and Respond to Verbal Abuse?
Exercise to determine verbal abuse from CyberParent.com
The Effects of Verbal Abuse on Children
How to Help Children Understand Verbal Abuse

Manipulative People: Covert Aggressive Personality Disorder

More Resources:
National Coalition of Domestic Violence, Resources by State @ http://www.ncadv.org/

National Domestic Violence Hotline @ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) – A crisis intervention and referral phone line for domestic violence.