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“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.” ~ Unknown
In '8 to Great', motivational speaker for positive change MK Mueller writes this to describe High-Way 4: Feel All Your Feelings.
"As challenges arise, allowing yourself to feel all your feelings returns you to the freedom of childhood, when emotions came and went without guilt or denial. When we realize that there are no “bad” feelings, we stop getting stuck in one feeling to prevent feeling another. We realize that we can feel mad and sad and still have a positive attitude. Once we’re freed up emotionally, we “feel” better physically as well. Finally, as we overcome the fear and judgment of our own emotions, we can more easily accept the feelings of others." ~MK Mueller
“Eyes that do not cry, do not see.” ~ Swedish Proverb
When I was growing up, I was ridiculed for crying. So I seldom did. Later in life, after going through many trials, someone I cared for said I was 'too emotional'. l later realized that person felt guilty for my caring so much, because they didn't deserve it. At the time though, I was very confused and hurt. I decided there must be something wrong with me. I was determined not to show emotion, care too much or let my deep caring feelings out, to anyone! That lasted for a while.
Then I realized and accepted who I. A caring person who 'feels all her feelings' and uses those 'feelings' to help my family, friends, self, others and to accomplish many great things in my life! Accepting my all my feelings helps me to love the person I am... emotional, caring, loving, passionate and All!
If you never get sad... you can be angry for a long time. Without any release you can stay in a 'rage' state of mind. We see that in people who are angry or unfeeling most of the time. The same goes for staying too long in sadness... and never getting angry, using the motivational passion that anger or frustration can give you. This is when many people fall into depression.
I try to find the balance in regards to my emotions. I don't want to stay angry or frustrated when the educational system doesn't do what they should for our special children. But at the same time, I like to use that motivational energy to fight for my son and others. The 'anger energy' fires my passion!
On the other side, we need to 'feel all our feelings' at times, such as with the death of a loved one, or another great loss in our lives. It's a healthy release as long as you don't stay in the sadness too long.
Many times we experience 'mad' and 'sad' in a circle after a death or accident for example. It's very common for someone to be sad at a situation.... then angry at the same situation later. Perfectly normal! So 'feel all your feelings' and accept how others feel too. We all deserve that!
“Feelings are everywhere - be gentle.” ~ UnknownDo you 'feel all your feelings'? Do you accept others?
as a man you are chastised for crying as well...i think many boys suffer from repressed feelings because of the best intentions of turning them into men...
ReplyDeleteI think we have to 'own' our feelings so that we can work through them ~ no? As a person who can cry at the 'drop of a hat', I always hated that about myself. Now I can accept that it's just who I am. Very thought provoking post Coreen!
ReplyDeleteHope you have a wonderful week!
xo Catherine
I LOVE the Swedish proverb! I have been called not too emotional, but too sensitive! Perhaps that's worse! Yes, our feelings we usually don't have control over, at least I don't. And the important thing for the bad feelings is this. Don't bottle them up, just don't act on them! Have you read Arthur Janeck's book "The Primal Scream"?
ReplyDeleteI think as you say to balnace one's emotions is the secret, don't try and worry about things you have no control over. I have worried my self silly in the past .....all for nothing.
ReplyDeleteHave a good day.
Yvonne.
my baby cut her finger around 8 days back...it was a morning and the doctor was not around...i went berserk and mad.... shouted like a hysterical crude woman..did not care about anything then..the only thing that i wanted was some relief for her pain..when the nurse approached me and asked me to manage my cool i blasted her off..wanted to rip her apart..i asked her only one question "do you have baby" and she was quiet....when you are a teenager and have not known a mother's love you can be real cool and philosophical..anyways..i ripped her apart...the medicine school teaches them first aid technology but does not spend much time and money on teaching them empathy ....however....to cut the story short ...there was only one name that crossed my mind when all this was over- Coreen..... needless to say i prayed for you besides praying for some more friends i know who would need the good wishes...i kept thinking about you for quite some time ..how hurtful it can be to see your child in pain..and how graceful and courageous you are to be so composed and level-headed...take care
ReplyDeleteI was reading this and I thought, "This is for me, today". I feel so good to know I am not behaving paranoid.
ReplyDeleteI read Sushmita's story before commenting. I really hope her baby is well now. Bless that girl and bless you.
This was a powerful message my friend. And yes we all do DESERVE that. :)
ReplyDeleteTrying To Get Over The Rainbow
Great post. I have been uncomfortable with my feelings for a long time, but I am learning to feel them and deal with them better now. It's true that if you shut yourself off from negative feelings, you can lose the positive ones too.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post, this is your best one yet!
ReplyDeleteI wish I didn't feel all my feelings sometimes. I've felt a lot of hurt lately but today I've had a great day so far.
I'm not afraid to admit when I feel hurt, but sometimes I'm not as understanding when others show their feelings, especially women.
ReplyDeleteEverything is well said Coreen. A friend told me once that I should let myself feel the pain and sadness when I have to, so that it would pass and I wouldn't be in denial. Letting the emotions flow will let the negative ones pass and soon I realized how blessed I am to pass one of life's exam and here I go, not too strong and less perfect yet still fighting and living the life God entrusted to me. Thanks for sharing this. Thumbs up for a good post.
ReplyDeleteI'm learning to own my feelings. Just read some M. Scott Peck material on this. Says we must feel the pain before we can properly process it and growth through it. Good post.
ReplyDeletemen are designed not to cry but I think your more of a man when you do, fab post dear xx
ReplyDeleteHi Thanks for visiting my blog & becoming a follower. I have just become a follower of yours & I'm off to take a look around your blog. You seem to write many things I am interested in.
ReplyDeleteCaroline
Interesting topic...I definitely feel my feelings...and try to keep them balanced...
ReplyDeleteI had a friend who taught me the difference between react and respond. I, like so many others, sometimes react from a place of hurt...but in my head instead of my mouth. With my mouth, I respond and give my hurt place a moment to see that whatever it was was not directed at me. Make sense? Interesting post. Sorry it's taken me so long to come over-it's been crazy insane the past few weeks!
ReplyDeleteYes, I do need to make sure, I feel my feelings.
ReplyDeletekim
Knowing your feelings and acting on them are different and it's good to know the difference, otherwise, I'd be guilty of multiple counts of capital murder... Good post. Is smart-aleckishness a feeling?
ReplyDeleteHi! :D What a wonderful blog you have here! I especially enjoyed reading your profile... I feel I can relate! I also I want to tell you thank you for visiting my blog a day or so ago. I can see now why the speech/talk I wrote interests you; I will be sure to post it for you. It is so wonderful to see how good you and your family are doing and to see the healing that has already taken place in your lives. I'm so happy for you! Sending prayers for continued blessings your way. Corine :D
ReplyDeleteBOY! do I have feelings. I try to control them at times. LOL
ReplyDeleteyvonne
Coreen what an awesome post, and look at all these people expressing "feelings"! I have never been one to bottle them up...I get it out and people know where I stand early on, good bad or indifferent!~ I was thinking about your son the other day, how is he doing? I hope you are all well, sorry I have not been over as much, super duper busy these days:) Debbie XXX000
ReplyDeleteI love the quote, "eyes that do not cry, do not see." Some are just better at expressin' their emotions than others but everybody feels 'em.
ReplyDeleteGod bless ya and have a glorious day sweetie!!!
As one who has battled depression, and was told I'm too emotional, regulary, I relate to your post!
ReplyDeletegreat post. I encourage feelings to be sharedit helps release the anger, saddness, or happy. have a good day. Rose
ReplyDeleteI never thought about this before, but in reading this, I realize that I squelch my "sad" feelings and those turn into anger. I never got this until now!
ReplyDelete