Until Men say something.... the abuse won't stop.

"A person may cause evil to others not only by his actions but by his inaction, and in either case he is justly accountable to them for injury." ~John Stuart Mill

The a recent story about Mel Gibson's abusive rants and alleged abuse has once again brought up many points.  Points regarding the attitudes and responses of the men in our society toward the 'bad' behavior of other men.

One point is why do some men get away with what they do and why 'commen' everyday people sit in jail during the investigations.   If not for the safety of the women involved, but because there are laws that the men in question have violated.

Another point is the effect of fame, stature and of course money has on cases like these.  The treatment is obviously different and happens on many social levels all over the country and world.  Probably has as long as people have been on this earth.  However, that doesn't mean it's OK.

We've seen this not only in Hollywood and Washington, but in 'small town America' as well.  The 'rich' person who owns a main business in town that employs many of the male 'bread winners' or the man who 'shares' excessive money with his 'male friends'. 

Some 'big shot men' in local communities treat the women in their lives with little or no respect and are even abusive right in front of other people.  In each these scenarios, I've never seen one man standing there say anything to them.  Not to their faces anyway.  Behind their backs they may talk to each other about the behavior and even warn other women to stay away from them.  To their face however, they say nothing and allow the behavior to continue without any repercussions to their 'good old boys club' friendships.

A final point, is why his behavior towards women is tolerated by other men.  A far greater issue in our society.  The tolerance of abuse by other males is the number one reason the abuse continues in our country and of course the world.  

After my own experiences, countless hours talking to both men and women, the healing I was able to gain through my own growth followed by forgiveness.... I was finally able to understand where much of the abusive behavior really comes from... which is a lack of respect for women in general!

The over all issue is how the violence and abuse, not only physical but verbal and emotional as well, against women will ever stop.  Well it won't, at least not until other 'men' stand up and say something to their male friends, relatives, co-workers, neighbors and even the strangers they encounter on the streets in public places. 

Abusive men, don't respect women.  That is obvious!  So another women saying something to them, even their own mother, sister, grandmother... has no impact on their behavior or way of thinking.  Again, because either conscious or subconscious, these men don't respect women.  Or they wouldn't have the attitudes and excuses they do to treat them badly.  All the excuses in the world doesn't change the fact that these men would never treat another 'man' the same way.  No matter how angry or frustrated they 'feel' these people make them.   Of course most of us know that that alone is an excuse.

Now I'm not saying that no man stands up to another man.  Of course they do, my own sons do and I have several male friends who do.  However that is not the norm and until it is the normal and immediate response, of the vast majority of men the abusive treatment of women will not stop in our country or the world overall.

My dear friend Sushmita wrote the perfect poem this week to go with this post that I would like to  share: the little doll who had a heart....