Seeing the Light

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"We are each gifted in a unique and important way.  It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light." ~Evelyn Dunbar 

adamkayce.com

The last month has been very busy with much to do, decide and understand. It has been a time when I didn't know where to turn, who to trust or what to do next.  A time of both fear and relief.  Fear from not knowing what the future holds as well as relief from knowing that some things have to change... even if it's not the timing I had planned.

I've been wanting to find the light for a while... however dragging my feet, making excuses that 'after this' I'll do 'that'.  Sometimes my well intended plans happen.. sometimes they take longer than they should.  That's when I believe that 'God' kicks us out of our comfortable 'dark holes', into the light and back into life.

I'm still not completely sure about what the future holds or what and who I should trust.  However, I am getting some very strong guidance and direction whenever I crawl into my 'dark hole' of solitude.  That is were I pray, think, meditate and listen for the answers to come to me.  For a new perspective and understanding to go along with new ideas.  Seeing the light at the top of my solitary hole... opening myself up to a new and even better life.  Of that, I am sure of!

"A sensible man will remember that the eyes may be confused in two ways - by a change from light to darkness or from darkness to light; and he will recognize that the same thing happens to the soul." ~Plato

Life is...

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"Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you." ~unknown

 "Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be." ~Grandma Moses

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.  Life is beauty, admire it.  Life is bliss, taste it.  Life is a dream, realize it.  Life is a challenge, meet it.  Life is a duty, complete it.  Life is a game, play it.  Life is a promise, fulfill it.  Life is sorrow, overcome it.  Life is a song, sing it.  Life is a struggle, accept it.  Life is a tragedy, confront it.  Life is an adventure, dare it.  Life is luck, make it.  Life is too precious, do not destroy it.  Life is love, fight for it."     ~Mother Teresa

"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can." ~Danny Kaye

Having a Life... outside of our responsibilities.

Although my sons are grown pretty much on their own now, I remember how I tried to balance everything when they were growing up.  Dividing the time and attention between the three was my top priority.  Balancing family, my home daycare, housekeeping, friendships, school groups, a marriage, church.... the list went on and on. 

I remember long, busy days and collapsing at night from exhaustion.  However I also remember how fulfilled and happy I was taking care of my family!   I love being a mom, then and now!  

The hardest part for me was when they grew up and one by one needed me less.  I felt so lost and empty at times.  Then one day I filled out an on-line questionnaire and realized I didn't have a life.  At least... not one of my own! 

The Questions and Answers went like this: 

Interest:  my children
Hobbies:  my children
Activities:  my childrens'
Goals:  raising my children
Dreams:  helping my children fulfill their dreams.

The questions went on and the answers were basically the same.  This experience was a Hugh eye opener for me.  I didn't even know what I liked or who I was... outside of being a MOM.

Please remember I loved raising my sons and being involved in their activities along with the groups associated with them.  I still enjoy and cherish the time I spend with my boys now.  However, I decided that it was about time for 'me'.  My dreams, goals and interest.  Whatever the heck they were.... I still didn't know for a while. 

Since that revelation, I have spent a great deal of time experiencing new and exciting things.  I had my very own adventures and done things I'd never done before.  All good of course, but fun too!   I'd never rafted before, road a motorcycle, drove a jet sky or even gone tubing until last summer.  I had a blast!

I've always been pretty social, but I used to avoid anything remotely risky and would even slip into the shadows to avoid being in the spot light too much.  This year I've stepped it up; putting myself in new and very exciting places.  Meeting some amazing people and coming out of my shell!

These new experiences have helped me grow and develop into a strong, independant and confident person.  I am very pleased with how far I have come and look forward to the rest of my life!

It's never too late to have a Life of your own.  What interest, hobbies or adventures do you have outside of your responsibilities?
 

Ready for More Adventures!

I took a Hugh leap of faith when I moved here almost 5 years ago. Things didn’t work out like I thought they would for me, but there is no doubt that it was God’s plan for my son to be here.

I now realize that God used the last 5 years to work on me, while providing the people that would help my. It was a long road to get my son an education. During those early years I spent all my energy and time fighting for help and resources for him; while trying to be a good mom to my older sons also.

I didn’t realize until the last 2 years that I didn’t do much of anything for myself. That I didn’t even know who I was or what I even liked outside of being a mom. I had no idea outside of parent groups and buster clubs.

My children were growing up fast and leaving the nest and I was feeling lonelier and more lost every month that went by. God was trying to tell me something and I needed to listen!

I would fill out questionnaires asking me what my hobbies and interest were and I didn’t have any!? I also wrote down ‘being a mom’… which I loved! I honestly didn’t realize that I could have my own interest too. More shocking to me was that I didn’t know what I liked to do or what interest just ’ME’.

Not only has my youngest son come a long ways; but I realize now that so have I. In the last 2 years I have had lots of new experiences and discovered many of hobbies and interest that I enjoy now. I’ve even had several outdoor adventures that I once thought it was too late for me to try. I was so wrong! It is never too late to try new things and to live life to the fullest!

Now that my children are grown and pretty much on their own now; there is so much more in this world that I want to experience and do. I am so ready for more adventures! 