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"Fill your mind with light, happiness, hope, feelings of security and strength, and soon your life will reflect these qualities." ~Unknown

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"The Greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance!" ~Brian Tracy

All post and stories are the sole property of Velvet Over Steel aka Coreen Trost. I write and create post in order to help others, so share as you want. I just ask that you link back or give VOS credit. Some of the stories are going into a book in progress. Thank You ALL.. for your support and help!!
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." ~ John Quincy Adams

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Turning Anger & Frustration into Determination

I didn't grow up with much encouragement or emotional support.    I was the type of child that needed someone to believe in me.  Say I could do this or do that.  That I should go for my dream of being an architect or whatever I wanted.  That I could do anything!  However I didn't and settled for accepting what life had to offer that was right in front of me or easy to obtain.  Jobs that I was offered or seemed to come along at a convenient time.  Friends that were close by or dates with men that seemed decent and worked out with the rest of my life at the time.

In the past few years I've had a change of opinion and attitude about all of those situations.  In fact, I've finally became angry with myself for just accepting some of them.  I believe in my sons and encourage them to do whatever they need to.  To succeed, be happy, to follow their dreams.  Whether it was convenient, the cheapest school, or the closest job, didn't matter.  What was best for them is what mattered! 

My oldest son went all over the country to compete and become part of the United States Powerlifting team and compete over seas 4 times.  He later attended college in Louisiana because of the powerlifting team there and a scholarship.  It was a great experience for him and one year from now he will become a Physical Therapist.  Moving whereever is the best place for him to start his new amazing life.

My middle son moved to Chicago to follow his dream of being a graphic designer.  He has flourished there!  Made artistic friends, continued school, gotten a new job with a large company and is going to Italy and Greece this fall with his art class.  He is living his dreams and I am so happy for him!

My youngest son is my triple miracle!  He was conceived after having my tubes tied.  Survived after a car accident I was in during my pregnancy.  Survived after being 10 weeks premature and is now succeeding in college with a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome at the age of 11.  By a specialist that said he may never get better and teachers at the time that gave up on his even graduating high school.  All of them were wrong of course.  He is a Hugh success and my 'miracle' many times over!

Now to why I am angry with myself.  I'm not happy and it's no ones fault but my own.  I want a job where I can learn, flourish and grow.  But I've stayed where I'm at because it's close to where I live and it's convenient with my youngest son attending college close by.  However, I'm frustrated because I know it will never grow into what my dreams and aspirations are.   I'm also bored with my social life.  Actually frustrated with the fact that I don't make more of an effort to meet higher quality men.  I have continued to settle for what's easy and convenient in regards to the type of men who ask me out and dating in general.  Again, that's my own fault and only I can change that.

I've made a choice to put my life in a new direction.  I'm making plans and going to follow through, no matter how much effort and inconvenious it's all going to cause.   I'm unhappy and frustrated with my current situations and angry with myself for not doing something sooner.  So I've decided to use that anger and frustrated 'energy' and put it toward 'determination' in following my own dreams and asperations.  Starting today!  Because it's never too late and it's about time! :-)
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  1. i hope you have a wonderful mothers day...where your children have gotten is a testament to them and to you as a mom. now put some of that toward you and i am sure you wil be where you want very soon...

  2. Coreen, You are amazing. You have truly given your sons the very best you could offer and have helped them achieve thier potential. Good for you. It is wonderful that you are now taking yourself in hand to move onto bigger and better things. You will go far. Happy Mothers' Day.

  3. The fact that you have passed courage down to your sons reflects what a true shero you are! Thank you for encouraging me also through your comment! You are clearly a woman of courage yourself!

  4. Good for you for recognizing that you are settling. You are worthy of and deserve better so go for better. Don't just settle. Feel the fear and do it anyway! You can do this!!!

    Happy Mother's day!

  5. Yea Coreen it is about time, and only YOU can make it happen! So happy for you and that you acknowledge that my friend. You have a wonderful mothers day, you deserve it, and have three wonderful sons that YOU raised to be awesome young men!~

  6. How right you are it's never too late.

    Have a peaceful Sunday.


  7. Coreen I so want to meet up withyou. You sound an amazing woman. You have made alot of comments here that I too could make.
    I know that through the grace of God I will get to where he wants me to be and who he wants me to be with.
    You will have an amazing Mothers day because you are an amazing Mother.
    Cant wait to get to know each other better God Bless

  8. Your sons are doing so well...a testament to you my dear!! That is so fabulous! Now it is your turn...time to shed the mundane and common place and move out. Be brave and courageous. Go for it!!!
    Happy Mother's Day and cheers for the new beginning!

  9. Don't think of the time before this as taking the easy way out, think of it as preparing you for what comes next. You were there for your sons and they're doing great, so now you can turn all that amazing energy towards *your* goals, whatever they may be.

    Have a happy Mother's Day!

  10. as usual..i am so proud of you.... very few people have the guts and the sense to revise their choices...forget about accepting that they might need to revise them... take care and know ..GOD is with you...

  11. A beautiful post that will no doubt inspire others!

    Happy Mother's Day! Go get 'em, Baby!!!

  12. it is refreshing to read that because u felt trapped u do not make your sons feel trapped, that my dear makes u the better person today xx HAPPY MOTHERS DAY xx

  13. It can be easy to recognize that you aren't happy but it isn't always easy to do something about it! I'm proud of you! Now if only I could find some of that courage to change my own life!

    I grew up without a lot of encouragement too. It seemed like my parents were very encouraging of my brother who was good looking, outgoing, very talented, etc. I always felt like I was exactly the opposite and didn't get much attention except to get yelled at.

  14. Hi Coreen, read your this posting with interest.
    You just take it your life as how you want it to be, as our life today is not a dress rehearsal. We only get to play one round.
    Live your life with no excuses, love with no regrets.

    Re your choice to put your life in a new direction, wayyyyy to go, Coreen.
    May the wind always be at your back, and the Sun upon your face, and the winds of Destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars.
    You have a nice day, keep well and keep a song in your heart. Best regards, Lee.

  15. It's right, be positive and it's never too late. I hope you find what you are looking for.

  16. Attitude is the foundation from which all things positive are built. Swing that hammer!! :)

  17. Only you know how you feel, no one can tell you otherwise. But what I can tell you is that you have no need to feel annoyed at yourself; bringing up three children is hard enough (I imagine) and one with AS will add to the difficulties, albeit a wonderfully rewarding way of life. Each day is incredibly special. Challenging, but special.

    CJ xx

  18. such a good positive attitude. every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around. lovely blog. :)
    nicole visiting from

  19. Never too late.

    Happy belated Mother's Day to you!

  20. a proud mom with three handsome sons,
    beautiful post from beautiful soul!
    Happy Belated Mother's Day!

  21. Coreen such a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing. Blessings.

  22. Yes you can. We can control our own destiny. You have done everything you need to inorder to help your boys fufill their dreams. Now its time for you.

  23. As parents, it is sometimes hard to let our children do what is best for them....for fear of losing them. But, we can not stifle their dreams because of a "selfish love." You have given your children a great need to give yourself the same gift. There is no need to be angry, frustrated, or even simply need to accept that you are worthy of all you dream of!

  24. Hi Coreen! You have such a beautiful family. According to your picture, you don't look old enough to have boys those ages!

    Thank you for stopping by my blog and visiting.
    I have an 11 year old son who has signs of autism and ADD. We are still working on a "formal" diagnosis and also trying a gluten/dairy free diet at the moment.

    I sympathize with your struggles for it is challenging and exhausting to raise a child with whom you always have to step outside of yourself in order to understand life from his perspective.

    Your son looks like he is growing into a wonderful young man though!

    God bless!


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