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"Fill your mind with light, happiness, hope, feelings of security and strength, and soon your life will reflect these qualities." ~Unknown

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"The Greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance!" ~Brian Tracy

All post and stories are the sole property of Velvet Over Steel aka Coreen Trost. I write and create post in order to help others, so share as you want. I just ask that you link back or give VOS credit. Some of the stories are going into a book in progress. Thank You ALL.. for your support and help!!
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." ~ John Quincy Adams

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

How we treat people is a Choice!!

"It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”— J. W. Goethe
What very good points this quote makes.  In our life time we will all experience injustices, accidents, deaths of loved ones and traumas of varying degrees.  How we react to the situations ourselves and how we respond to others and treat those in need, are what make those times of trial bearable or unbearable... torture or healing... for those going through it.  Compassion and Character, in my opinion, have a great deal to do with how we react or respond to others. 

There have been many times in my own life, where I have had someone escalate the stress of a trauma or experience, because of their own inability to have compassion or understanding for what someone else may be feeling or going through.  So I try very hard to treat people the way I want to be treated.  No matter what they have or have not done for me personally. 

I see people hurt by comments, judgements and other peoples' 'unhappiness' quite often.  Many times by those who don't mean to upset anyone.  They just don't put themselves in the other person's place;  realize how they would feel or what they would need in the their places were reversed. 

So often over the years, my youngest son has had teachers who could 'tear him down' or 'build him up'... by just the way they talked to him and the words they used.  It finally took a new state, new school and teachers who 'understood' what was needed to "help him become what he has always been capable of becoming!"

How we treat others, whether it is a child or a co-worker... a sister or a friend... can make all the difference in helping them to achieve the best they can be... or help in tearing them down.  The choice is ours!
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." ~Dalai Lama

"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are." ~Author Unknown
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  1. Sounds like the Golden Rule to me: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!!!!!

    Another great post, Coreen. We all need to be careful what we write when commenting on blogs or emails. Sometimes we may mean one thing --and the other person takes it another way.. My best friend and I email every single day.. Sometimes we have a little conflict over something that has been said. At that time, we talk on the phone to talk it out and gain understanding of what we said or meant. SO--we all just need to be careful.


  2. This is so true Coreen. It seems so basic right? Like we should know all know this or perhaps been taught. I will say my boys are taught and reinforced and reminded of this almost daily. It works too, usually if you put out that positive energy, you get it back. Great post!

  3. brilliant post!! i have experienced this in life... and i intend to pass this on to my little one...

  4. I really think that most people have no idea of the power of words. A carekessly tossed out word that we soon forget may remain with someone for years and affect them powerfully.

  5. Beautiful thoughts.
    People that are unhappy and in pain most likely treat others in the same way.
    What comes around goes around, that saying is so true. I have realized that spreading goodness and happiness means the return is rewarding thousand time over.;))

  6. I so subscribe to this!!! Treat others as you wish you were being treated!!! What a wonderful world it would be if everyone lived by this! With a can make someone's day a little better!!!
    So smile and say Merry Christmas!!!

  7. Most interesting to read, I am a firm believer that to have respect for others one has to respect themselves.

    Loved the post.


  8. I like to hear your wisdom and thoughts.

  9. Growing up, I've learned that - it's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

    Some people think that just because they are in power and in authority, and thinks they are important, they think they have a license to be mean. It's just so wrong.

    Great post! It's a reminder for me, that my day, my mood, depends on me.

  10. I do agree with this post, try to live by it. The golden rule!

  11. Sartre said that we are our choices. I happen to agree with him. It is the best way to judge someone by the choices they make in life.

  12. I love that quote. I try to do this and I feel let down when others don't bother. So this is a good reminder not to let others get to me when they aren't exercising the golden rule. It's my mood, so right.

    Thanks for the inspiration:)

  13. I've had people do whatever they could to tear me down and I've also been lucky enough to have a few people who have tried to build me back up.

    I always try to keep in mind how I would feel if I said or did certain things that might hurt someone's feelings. In most cases, I feel like I've done the right thing. And when I don't I feel bad.

    This post was a good reminder that we DO have control over our actions and you're right - how we treat people is a choice!

  14. This was gorgeous! You know, I've been contemplating on whether/not to go to Blank's wedding on the 11th of this month because I haven't heard from her/gotten an official invite yet (exact same situation as her engagement day a year back), but I've also been wondering- Am I not going to go just because she's acting abnormal (to put it mildly)? or Am I going to understand that it's a busy time for her, maintain my distance, just so my emotions aren't trampled upon and then go be a friend on her big day? I think the latter is nicer.

    You give me the power of fair judgement, Coreen. This is what I mean when I say I can always relate to your posts, in one way or another, every single day. :)


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