Christian Values in the Workplace By Coreen Trost

I’m a small-town girl with Christian values and high morals.  Ok, not a young girl, as a matter of fact, my children are all grown, and I no longer live in a small-town, but that’s where my story begins. I always considered myself a Christian mom while raising my sons with the values that were not only taught at home but in the church that we attended weekly as a family. 

The church I’m referring to was back in my hometown, the same one I attended as a young person and learned the values I still have today.  This church was where I taught Sunday School and all three of my boys were confirmed as Christians after attending 3 years of confirmation classes. While they were growing up and learning right from wrong, both at home and in school, this church assisted me in reinforcing those Christian values. 

What are Christian values?  Historically, the term Christian values refer to the teaching of Jesus and taught by Christians throughout religion history. A Christian, which I consider myself, is a person who believes in God and tries to follow the Christian teachings of Jesus.  I say ‘tries’ because no one on this Earth is perfect; we all make mistakes and even fail at times. 

Christian values to me are something we should all strive for in our everyday life.  These include hope, righteousness, love, being kind to one another, having compassion and empathy for those in need, and putting God first.  Evidence of someone having, or not having these values come from our deeds and actions.  These deeds, actions, and treatment of others are not only in one’s personal life, but in our businesses and community involvement.

Random Thoughts... for 2012

"Our life always expresses the results of our prominent thoughts." ~Soren Kierkegaa

This past year has flown by faster than any I can remember.  As a new year it about to begin, I have hundreds of thoughts and memories running through my mind each time I sit to write in my journal or work on my book.  Since I've been too busy to blog much in the past year, I thought I'd add a few of them now.  

• 2012 started Happy, had highs & lows & ended Great.
• The trials in between had much needed lessons.
• Everyone has experienced trauma in their life.
• We should all have more empathy and compassion.
• Traumas can transform if allowed to push us forward.
• I have shared experiences with my best of friends.
• We must leave our comfort zones in order to grow.
• That was needed for my new career and direction.
• We often stay in jobs and situations out of Fear.
• Have Faith! You don't know, what you don't know.
• Sleep deprivation is everyone's worst enemy. 
• Negative environments are not worth the damage.  
• Unhappy people find fault with each other.
• Hurting people, hurt others.  Don't let them hurt you.
• Showing kindness, can stop the negative verbiage
• Standing up for yourself shows self-respect.
• Immature people push blame and want revenge.
• Mature people try to understand why things happen.
• Respect, the words used and tone of voice do matter.
• It takes 10 positives to make up for 1 negative.
• Nikki Haley is my example of strength and leadership.
• She has character and someone I'd like to emulate.
• Being strong annoys the people who want control.
• We're suppose to put our children First!
• No amount of critisisum over the years helped us.
• Volunteering and getting involved is so rewarding.
• I meet the most amazing people when I volunteer.
• We all need our own friends, interest... Lives.
• No one should depend on you for their happiness.
• Anymore than you should depend on someone else.
• When you're direct and honest; don't ever feel guilty.
• It's more important what someone does than says.
• I'm not emotional any longer because I'm not afraid.
• I'm not afraid of dying or the future; I have Faith.
• When I see death, I pray for the souls and families.
• Kindness and Compassion are a Hugh part of my job.  
• The last job prepared me for my current career/job.
• Having the passion for it, makes me really good at it.
• So much accomplished... so much more I want to do!

"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see." ~John Burroughs

 What we overcome... helps us Grow

Good over Evil

 "I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.  This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant." ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

In my lifetime I've seen so many tragedies resulting from evil in this world.  From the horrific events we all see in the news; to the very personal ones that have happened around me. 

Back home in a town of 500, a young boy was shot for no reason by a neighbor, while visiting relatives with his brother.  I remember how fearful I was to let my children out of my sight after that.

Years later while my sons were still in school, a favorite teacher was killed by her husband in a horrific tragedy that left their 3 children without both parents in the end.  I shocking event for all the children in the school community.  

A year or two later, a beloved friend and her son tragically killed by a drunk driver.  The entire community mourned including my sons whom loved these 2 people like family.  Heart wrenching and so hard to understand why or how these things can happen.

I remember my friend and her son's funeral service so vividly.  The Pastor of our church talked about how God doesn't let bad things happen.  That bad things happen because Evil/Satan is in the world and because God gave us free will, allowing some to choose evil or make bad decisions; such as driving drunk unfortunately.  

I don't believe that God causes any of these tragedies to happen.  That is free will or the evil in the world.  What I believe is that God is there for us when those things happen; to comfort us and to bring people together.  I also believe that he uses bad, even tragic situations to teach us lessons for the greater good.  Lessons in love, compassion, appreciation, acceptance and even forgiveness.  Which help us to see that there truly is more good in the world than bad.  The evils of the world will not push me out of believing there is good in the world; or away from God.

 "At the end of the day, good will triumph, even though, we at the time, can not see it." ~unknown 

Be Authentic

ameaningfulexistence.com

"The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering." ~Ben Okri

I've had interviews where I was the person that I thought the bosses or organizations were looking for.  However, I would end up turning the jobs down when they were offered, because they didn't feel like the right fit for me.  I could never be happy being someone I am not or having to do task that go against my character or beliefs.  We all have our strengths, so if a job is not the right fit, it's better to be honest from the beginning.  

"It is my intention to live an authentic life of compassion and integrity and action." ~Zachary Quinto

As I get ready for my first day tomorrow at my new job; I planned what I should wear, when I should leave in the morning and what I should bring.  One thing I didn't plan is how to act.  I know I got this job by being myself... my authentic self in the interviews.  Knowing that I can and should be myself is making  this change in my life so much easier; along with knowing the values and mission of the organization.  I am so excited!

"In short, we cannot grow, we cannot achieve authentic discovery, and our eyes cannot be cleansed to the truly beautiful possibilities of life, if we simply live a neutral existence." ~Armstrong Williams 

5 Things You Can Do to be Your Authentic Self

I'm BACK!!!

Hello!!  Oh how I have missed blogging and you ALL so much!  I have been gone way too long.

This past year has been a FLASH of events, traumas, health issues and enormous stress.  All of which piled up on me to the point of exhaustion.  I needed to take a step back and take care of myself first; then figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  

One thing lead to another this past year causing me to learn many lessons.  In the end I regained the confidence, strength and self esteem I seemed to have lost a time or two in the past few years.  Finding my direction and voice again has led me to the real path God intended for me all along.

Next week I start a brand new journey in a totally different field.  I am looking forward to a fresh start, new adventures working for a company that helps people with Christian values.  A company that models compassion and respect to their clients and employees in a positive work environment.

Positive environments, respect and reasonable expectations play a major roll in employee morale, health and happiness.  I have learned to both treat myself and others with respect, compassion and appreciation.  

All in all, I learned to take care of myself first.  I learned I can handle more work than I ever imagined.  I learned overwhelming amounts of information and now have the skills that brought me to these new opportunities.

I had so many positives this year too.  I met several great friends who taught me true compassion with their selfless acts of kindness.   I also met amazing people while volunteering this fall; who each taught me by example.  Such as how to enjoy the moments and find the good in everyone; as well as how to handle disappointments with grace and gratitude.  

Today I said goodbye to some of those amazing people and Friday I say 'see you later' to others whom I consider my guardian angels this past year.  This week is bitter sweet, filled with lots of mixed emotions; however I feel in my heart that this is the right decision and that this move will open so many more doors for me. :-)

"When one door closes; another one Opens!"

How will you know....

“How do you decide who is the right person to share your life with? You will know that you have found the right person because you will feel balanced, stable, loved and the challenges that come with this person won’t drive you away.”

So many times over the years, I've meet someone and wondered, 'are they the one?'  Only to feel very differently about them or that prospect, after a date or two.  In fact, I seem to outgrow the men I meet... at the speed of light.

"I want to know their heart.  The rest is just details."

With everyone that comes in and out of my life, I learn at least one lesson and gain much insight into why people behave and feel the way they do.  Every experience I've had, has opened my eyes and my heart to many lessons.    

“The only reason we go through a difficult time, is for us to gain something from the experience and for us to grow. We can become better people, it’s all about learning and growing…”~Jacqueline 

Each lesson has given me the insight I've needed to understand others and to accept myself, just the way I am.  The lessons I've learned have lead me to acceptance and healing; allowing me to regain my 'self-respect' and grow into the person I was always meant to be.  

“Self-respect is the biggest lesson for all of us to learn and I think it is one of the most difficult. But wow, the rewards for learning this lesson are huge!"~Jacqueline

Once we see the reality of ourselves and our current situations, we can have perspective when we observe what is going on around us is.  Having perspective and an open heart, gives us true understanding and compassion.  

"It is endless all that can be revealed to us... if we open our hearts and see the lessons."

Now a days, I'm very specific in the qualities I want in the people I allow in my life.  Knowing and understanding who I am, has lead me to finally knowing exactly what I want, don't want, and deserve in my life and relationships... all relationships.  

Then listen to your intuition and your heart.  If they make you feel good and enhance your happiness... then they can be the one.  We have many 'ones' in our lifetime... it depends on where we are in our life and growth to whom is right for us at that time.

"You will 'know', once you 'know' and accept yourself and stop accepting less than what you 'know' you deserve."~Me

7 Ways to know if they're the One
The 3 Keys to know if they're the Onc
Deeper Dating: 3 Steps that lead to Love
Love them or Leave them

A Spiritual path together

"Spirituality is allowing compassion and love to flourish. When belongness begins, corruption ends." ~Sri Sri Ravi Shanka

venitism.blogspot.com

"The spiritual path is not a solo endeavor. In fact, the very notion of a self who is trying to free her/himself, alone, is a delusion. We are in it together and the company of spiritual friends helps us realize our interconnectedness." ~Tara Brach

Come from a place of Love

"Come from a place of Love, not anger or frustration."~Me

lightworkersworld.com

I've struggled so many times in my life to find balance with keeping the power and control over my own life; while also coming from a heart of understanding, compassion and even love.  It's not always easy.

I try hard to stay away from negative and gossipy people who think they know everything about everyone.  However sometimes I admit I get sucked in to it when I have my guard down; I'm lonely, tired or just having a bad day.  Causing me to have doubts about people I care about; second guessing my own intuition and heart.

I realize now that when I allow others opinions to influence how I feel, that I'm reacting out of Fear.  Fear of making another mistake; fear of being hurt and even fear of gossip.  None of those things should control or even be a factor in what I decide or do.  I fail greatly when I let it.

"We should never react out of fear.  We should always respond out of Love."~ME

Most of the time when I feel anger, it's really from the Fear of one of those possibilities.  When I find fault and react out of Fear; that distorted sense of control never last.  It only causes me to have regret and guilt later on.  All because I allowed outside chatter and negativity get to me.

There are times when I've shut the door on friends because of the drama going on in their lives.  I believed when I was told I should be scared or even angry.  Those 'words of advice' are always coming from negative chatter; not from a heart of compassion, understanding or Love.

When we come from a place of Love, we have Understanding and Compassion.  I moved twice to give my son... understanding and compassion from teachers and staff that truly cared.   It made all the difference in his life.  That's why I'm always looking for people like that in my own life.

How does the saying go.... "Be the person you wish to find."   I agree... and in regards to all our relationships.   I'm trying hard not to be influenced by 'fear'... so I can follow my heart... reaching out to friends and anyone I 'feel' needs me to; without hesitation or fear.

Fear is the only thing that has ever held me back from coming from a place of Love.  I pray that there are special people in my life that know and understand that now.

"Negativity comes from Fear.  Love stops negativity in it's tracks."~Me

The Answer is Always LOVE

"Remember LOVE is the answer! Listen to your heart, speak with your heart, see with your heart & feel with your heart." ~Stephanie Albright, founder/owner Ancient Wisdom

The Heart Only Knows Love.  The heart does not judge and the heart sees everyone 'whole' and 'complete'.   It's the Head that judges and finds the fault in others and even ourselves.  We are 'whole' and 'complete' in the Heart; because the Heart sees only through the eyes of LOVE; the same way GOD sees us.  If only we could all listen, speak, see and feel with our Hearts more often; the world would be a better place. :-)

Above all else, love and compassion uplift and transform your life.  They both reduce your anger, hatred and jealousy, while expanding your heart and mind, making life worthwhile.  When all is said and done, there is nothing more important than love and compassion.

"The Heart only knows LOVE; Everything else is coming from the Head." ~Stephanie Albright @ Ancient Wisdom

Company succeeds at hiring adults with Asperger Syndrome as Game Testers

HIGHLAND PARK, Ill. (AP) — The software testers at Aspiritech are a collection of characters. Katie Levin talks nonstop. Brian Tozzo hates driving. Jamie Specht is bothered by bright lights, vacuum cleaners and the feel of carpeting against her skin. Rider Hallenstein draws cartoons of himself as a DeLorean sports car. Rick Alexander finds it unnerving to sit near other people.

This is the unusual workforce of a U.S. startup that specializes in finding software bugs by harnessing the talents of young adults with autism.

Traits that make great software testers — intense focus, comfort with repetition, memory for detail — also happen to be characteristics of autism. People with Asperger's syndrome, a mild form of autism, have normal to high intelligence and often are highly skilled with computers.

Aspiritech, a nonprofit in Highland Park, Ill., nurtures these skills while forgiving the quirks that can make adults with autism unemployable: social awkwardness, poor eye contact, being easily overwhelmed. The company's name plays on the words "Asperger's," ''spirit" and "technology."

Clients, nine companies in Aspiritech's first two years, have been pleased.

"They exceeded my expectations," said Dan Tedesco of Shelton, Conn.-based HandHold Adaptive, which took a chance on Aspiritech to test an iPhone application. "There is a pride in their product you don't usually see in this type of work."

Aspiritech was founded by Moshe and Brenda Weitzberg after their son, Oran, now 32, was fired from a job bagging groceries. Oran was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome when he was 14. He now works at Aspiritech.

"He went from failing at bagging groceries to being one of the best software testers on our team," said Brenda Weitzberg.

The Weitzbergs modeled Aspiritech on a successful Danish company called Specialisterne, or "the Specialists." Specialisterne also employs software testers with autism. Its satisfied clients include Oracle and Microsoft.

Other companies in Belgium, Japan and Israel are either hiring or training adults with autism as software testers.

This year, Aspiritech projects $120,000 in revenue, with 60 percent coming from donations and 40 percent from clients. The Weitzbergs hope to raise the client revenue to 50 percent next year.

"There have been a couple of attempts in the U.S. and Aspiritech is the one that's making it," said Scott Standifer of the University of Missouri's Disability Policy and Studies office and the organizer of a national conference on adults with autism and employment.

The exact unemployment rate for adults with autism is unknown, but it's thought to be high, Standifer said.

"We don't know how many adults have autism and, because of that, we don't know their rate of unemployment," he said. "We do know from tracking adults just emerging from high school that they are having great difficulty finding jobs."

A 2009 U.S. Department of Education survey found the employment rate for young adults with autism was on par with that for deaf-and-blind young adults, and well below the rate of those with blindness alone or learning disabilities or traumatic brain injuries, Standifer said.

Since Asperger's syndrome didn't become a standard diagnosis until the early 1990s, many of Aspiritech's software testers were adults when they first learned they were on the autism spectrum. They are pioneers, the first generation of adults with Asperger's.

Katie Levin, 35, was diagnosed in her late 20s with Asperger's. As a child, she'd been labeled as mentally ill.

"Asperger's is not a mental illness," she said. "I definitely feel like I identify with the Asperger's community more than I did with the mental illness community." She tests software and runs Aspiritech's Facebook page and Twitter feed.

Rick Alexander, 24, another tester, has a degree in computer science from the Illinois Institute of Technology and completed an internship developing software for the city of Chicago.

"I have a lot of social anxiety. I don't like meeting new people," said Alexander, who was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome as a teenager. Like many of the other testers, he lives with his parents.

He'd rather be a software developer than a tester, he said. But selling himself in a job interview is "very difficult for me."

"When you're a child, the school is very concerned with you, the state is very concerned with you," Alexander said. Organizations help adults with autism, he said, but "you need to approach them and for somebody with Asperger's syndrome, it's very difficult to do the approaching."

Most research dollars have gone toward studying children with autism while adults have been neglected, said Molly Losh, an autism researcher at Northwestern University.

"Our vocational structure really isn't suited to funnel people with autism into the workforce," Losh said. Aspiritech "is a magnificent and innovative venture," she said.

Many businesses hire offshore companies to test software. Mike Mestemaker, director of engineering for Schaumburg, Ill.-based ISI Telemanagement Solutions, chose Aspiritech because it offered competitive rates but was based in the United States.

"They dove right in and worked very quickly," Mestemaker said. "They were very detail-oriented people. They really got the job done."

ISI was happy with the work and has hired Aspiritech for a second project, he said.

Aspiritech provides meaningful work (pay is $12 to $15 an hour) in a relaxed environment where bosses never yell if you're late and nobody minds if you need to be alone for a while. What's more, the company is building social skills. The software testers, who are in their 20s and 30s, are trained to work together and they take part in organized outings: miniature golf, bowling, eating at a restaurant.

"We want to improve social skills among people who tend to be socially isolated," said Marc Lazar, Aspiritech's autism specialist. For many of them, software testing is not going to be their lifelong career, Lazar said, "but while they're here they're going to improve their job skills and they're going to learn what kind of behavior is expected on the job and they're going to have more to put on their resumes." ~ AP Medical Writer Carla K. Johnson can be reached at http://www.twitter.com/CarlaKJohnson

Read more at http://www.timesunion.com  

Sweet Old Fisherman...

Tweet

"Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin.  It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too." ~Frederick Buechner

swamishivapadananda.typepad.com

The following story is true and shared from Karin's blog "Yesterday, Today and Forever ~ Jesus is the Same".   I hope no one has dry eyes with this one....

Our house was directly across the street from the clinic entrance of   Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore.  We lived downstairs and rented the upstairs rooms to out-patients at the clinic.   

One summer evening as I was fixing supper, there was a knock at the door.  I opened it to see a truly awful looking man.  "Why, he's hardly taller than my 8-year-old," I thought as I stared at the stooped, shriveled body.  But the appalling thing was his face, lopsided from swelling, red and raw.  

Yet his voice was pleasant as he said, "Good evening.  I've come to see if you've a room for just one night.  I came for a treatment this morning from the eastern shore, and there's no bus 'til morning."   

He told me he'd been hunting for a room since noon but with no success, no one seemed to have a room.  "I guess it's my face .... I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says with a few more treatments .."  

For a moment I hesitated, but his next words convinced me: "I could sleep in this rocking chair on the porch.  My bus leaves early in the morning." I told him we would find him a bed, but to rest on the porch..  I went inside and finished getting supper.  When we were ready, I asked the old man if he would join us.  "No, thank you.  I have plenty."  And he held up a  brown paper bag. 

  

When I had finished the dishes, I went out on the porch to talk with him a few minutes.  It didn't take a long time to see that this old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body.  He told me he fished for a living to support his daughter, her 5 children, and her husband, who was hopelessly crippled from a back injury. 

He didn't tell it by way of complaint; in fact, every other sentence was preface with a thanks to God for a blessing.  He was grateful that no pain accompanied his disease, which was apparently a form of skin cancer.  He thanked God for giving him the strength to keep going... 

And, on his next trip, he arrived a little after 7 in the morning.  As a gift, he brought a big fish and a quart of the largest oysters I had ever seen!  He said he had shucked them that morning before he left so that they'd be nice and fresh.  I knew his bus left at 4:00 a.m. And I wondered what time he had to get up in order to do this for us.   

In the years he came to stay overnight with us, there was never a time that he did not bring us fish or oysters or vegetables from his garden.  

At bedtime, we put a camp cot in the children's room for him.  When I got up in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded and the little man was out on the porch. He refused breakfast, but just before he left for his bus, haltingly, as if asking a great favor, he said, "Could I please come back and stay the next time I have a treatment?  I won't put you out a bit.  I can sleep fine in a chair."  He paused a moment and then added, "Your children made me feel at home.  Grownups are bothered by my face, but children don't seem to mind." I told him he was welcome to come again.  

Other times we received packages in the mail, always by special delivery; fish and oysters packed in a box of fresh young spinach or kale, every leaf carefully washed.  Knowing that he must walk 3 miles to mail these, and knowing how little money he had made the gifts doubly precious. 

When I received these little remembrances, I often thought of a comment our next-door neighbor made after he left that first morning. "Did you keep that awful looking man last night?  I turned him away!  You can lose roomers by putting up such people!" Maybe we did lose roomers once or twice.  But, oh!, if only they could have known him, perhaps their illnesses would have been easier to bear. 

I know our family always will be grateful to have known him; from him we learned what it was to accept the bad without complaint and the good with gratitude to God. Recently I was visiting a friend, who has a greenhouse, as she showed me her flowers, we came to the most beautiful one of all, a golden chrysanthemum, bursting with blooms.  But to my great surprise, it was growing in an old dented, rusty bucket.  I thought to myself, "If this were my plant, I'd put it in the loveliest container I had!" 

My friend changed my mind.  "I ran short of pots," she explained, "and knowing how beautiful this one would be, I thought it wouldn't mind starting out in this old pail.  It's just for a little while, till I can put it out in the garden." She must have wondered why I laughed so delightedly, but I was imagining just such a scene in heaven. "Here's an especially beautiful one," God might have said when he came to the soul of the sweet old fisherman.  "He won't mind starting in this small body." All this happened long ago - and now, in God's garden, how tall this lovely soul must stand.   I hope no one forgets that Sweet Old Fisherman and the lessons for us all in his story.

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at..  

Man looks at the outward appearance, 

but the LORD looks at the heart." 

1 Samuel 16:7b

ALTRUISM of LOVE AND COMPASSION

Tweet

"I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their happiness or satisfaction. Yet true happiness comes from a sense of peace and contentment, which in turn must be achieved through the cultivation of altruism, of love and compassion, and elimination of ignorance, selfishness, and greed." ~Dalai Lama

rewireyourbrainforlove.com

So often we use the words above in our everyday life without really thinking about what they mean or what it would be like if all the people in the world live by them.

Let's dig deeper into the meaning of these words.  

Altruism is the unselfish concern for the welfare and well being of others.  It is the active practice of love and compassion. Altruism is demonstrated in daily life by simple acts such as feeding the hungry and providing directions to a stranger in need. Altruism focuses on a motivation to help others or a want to do good a good thing, without a concern for reciprocation or reward. Altruism is related to heroism; however it lacks an element of risk to the helper. Research indicates that altruism is triggered by empathy and driven by compassion. (source heroic inagination.org)

Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.  In philosophical context, love is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection.  (source wikipedia.org)

Compassion is also a virtue, one in which the emotional capacities of empathy and sympathy for others, are regarded as a part of love itself, and a cornerstone of greater social interconnectedness and humanism.  It is foundation to the highest principles in philosophy, society, and personally..  (source wikipedia.org)

What do you think the impact on society would be if these 'words' were 'lived in daily action' by more people?  I believe the impact would be less conflict and more PEACE in the world! 

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” ~Dalai Lama 

Dalai Lama's Peace Prize Acceptance Speech

How we treat people is a Choice!!

Tweet

"It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”— J. W. Goethe

What very good points this quote makes.  In our life time we will all experience injustices, accidents, deaths of loved ones and traumas of varying degrees.  How we react to the situations ourselves and how we respond to others and treat those in need, are what make those times of trial bearable or unbearable... torture or healing... for those going through it.  Compassion and Character, in my opinion, have a great deal to do with how we react or respond to others. 

There have been many times in my own life, where I have had someone escalate the stress of a trauma or experience, because of their own inability to have compassion or understanding for what someone else may be feeling or going through.  So I try very hard to treat people the way I want to be treated.  No matter what they have or have not done for me personally. 

I see people hurt by comments, judgements and other peoples' 'unhappiness' quite often.  Many times by those who don't mean to upset anyone.  They just don't put themselves in the other person's place;  realize how they would feel or what they would need in the their places were reversed. 

So often over the years, my youngest son has had teachers who could 'tear him down' or 'build him up'... by just the way they talked to him and the words they used.  It finally took a new state, new school and teachers who 'understood' what was needed to "help him become what he has always been capable of becoming!"

How we treat others, whether it is a child or a co-worker... a sister or a friend... can make all the difference in helping them to achieve the best they can be... or help in tearing them down.  The choice is ours!

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." ~Dalai Lama

http://www.dancelightly.com/



"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are." ~Author Unknown

 

10 Ways to Share Your Love, Gratitude and Compassion ~ By Stephanie K. Smith

Tweet



Srichinmoypoetry.com ~ poems & quotes

 

"We already have so much abundance. We truly do. We need not search too far. It is within. The reason we fail to recognize this is because we haven't quite mastered the art of being. For abundance to prevail, we must have LOVE, gratitude, acceptance and compassion." ~ John Welwood

 
In honor of Thanksgiving, here are ten ways to spread abundance that will brighten your day – and someone else’s!

1. Write a Thank You (for Being You) Note!

It may be old fashioned in these days of e-mails, texts and Facebook wall posts, but sometimes the best things stem from tradition. Take this opportunity to let someone know that you appreciate them – not for something they’ve given you or done, but for who they are and what they bring to your life.

2. Shake Things Up at Turkey Time
Even if you hate it, and it doesn’t go with the rest of the meal at all, make your loved one’s favorite dish part of your Thanksgiving weekend. Barbecue? Chinese dumplings? Whatever. The fact that it’s not standard holiday fare makes it even more meaningful as an expression of love. The gesture won’t go unnoticed.

3. Donate Something
Whether it’s your time, a few bucks or your favorite holiday snack, give something to your local homeless shelter. You’ll be surprised how good it feels.

4. Offer to Babysit
Have friends or family members who don’t get out much. Offer to babysit so that they can have a second to themselves. It’s a great big thank you for which they’ll be extremely grateful!

5. Mentor Someone
It doesn’t have to be more than a coffee, but if you’re in a position that someone else might like to learn about, give them a little insight into your experiences. This doesn’t have to be professional, it can be life based (like Big Brothers and Big Sisters). Offering guidance to someone who needs it, is a great way to pass on some positive energy.

6. Smile at Strangers
So what if a few people think you’re strange? Most people love being smiled at – it’s a reflection of happiness and who couldn’t use a little more of that?

7. Dedicate a Yoga or Meditation Session
Some people offer up prayers, and it’s great if you do that, too. But the next time you’re meditating or in a yoga class, focus on sending someone you care about (whether you know them or not) a little white light. Afterward, don’t be surprised if they get in touch because they’ve been thinking of you.

8. Release All Ill Will
There’s no point holding grudges, and what better holiday is there for releasing yours in celebration of all that is great in your life? Let go of any bad feelings you have toward anyone. Whether that means you forgive them and forget them or you forgive them and reach out is up to you.

9. Make Amends
Now is a great time to let bygones be just that. If you feel you owe someone an apology, give it now. Even if it’s just in e-mail, the signals it sends (to the person and to the forces at work) open you up for progress.

10. Set Aside a Little Time For Yourself

It may sound crazy as a way to spread good will and gratitude, but above all other things, if you appreciate yourself and the importance of maintaining a sense of balance (after all, it means you’re keeping the universe in check), you’ll give offer others inspiration and may even help them permit themselves to do the same. And what can be better for the world than that?              By Stephanie K. Smith

"If you're going to tally up things in life, tally up what others do for you, rather than what you do for others." ~ Kelley Brignell

 

She is crazy...but very smart.

Photobucket.com

Tweet

She is crazy, but very smart.  She has spies everywhere because she is very clever and knows how to pull people in with her lies and perception of the truth. She gets them to 'spy for her' and tell her things by being very 'sweet' and manipulating her half truths to get people to feel sorry for her.  Those she pulls in are willing to help her because they either believe her lies or are very nosy and want to know what they 'think' is going on in other peoples' lives.  Gossip is a form of entertainment for them.  Many are phony to people's faces, then talk behind their backs.  These people should be fired, but their bosses don’t know.

She also has a 6th sense, however she doesn’t use it for good or to make better life choices. She uses it to get what she wants.  The knowledge she gains from her spies, along with her just ‘knowing’ at times, is what she uses to manipulate the people in her life. She uses guilt to get her way or makes up lies to gain sympathy from others and then gains control whenever someone tries to pull away from them.

She doesn’t care what she says, how she acts or who she hurts. Their world and perceptions revolve only around themselves and what they want. The people that they are supposed to love, including her own children, get put in the middle and used for leverage. She keeps her man awake at night arguing, not caring if he gets enough sleep, has to get up early or has a long drive to work and back home each day.  Not caring if the fighting and stress effects his job or if he gets in an accident because she didn't let him get enough sleep. She doesn’t care. She thinks it serves him right for her not getting what she wants. She is selfish and self-serving.  She has an excuse for everything. 

People like this, both male and female, must be very insecure and feel threatened, for whatever reason or excuse they come up with.  They take no responsibility for their own choices or actions. They are obviously miserable in their own lives, so they cause trouble in other peoples, with their actions and behaviors.  Most even act as if everything in life is about them.  It shows in their manipulation and constant rudeness toward others.

I know several people like this. At one time I actually tried to be friends with one of them. Mostly because I didn’t want them as an enemy. I saw what they were capable of. I also tried to see the good in everyone and wanted to be friends with all that I met back then.  I now know I don't want to be friends with everyone.  Another part of me thought I needed to become strong enough to ‘handle’ people like this.  That it would make me a better person.

I was wrong!  I saw the malicious things these types of people are capable of... first hand.  The friendships they ruined and the lives they tried to destroy.   People like that are no good to be around... no matter how strong you are or how nice a person you want to be. Their self-centered nature, self-serving motives and negative attitudes... can suck the life right out of you if you let them.

I have a very good friend who is in a similar situation.  Looking from the outside in, I feel they have a person just like this around them.  They are negatively and maliciously affecting their life.  My friend is a really nice person, hard worker, great parent and an all around good person. They put everyone else first in their lives, because that is who they are.  Every human being deserves to be treated with respect at the very least. Along with the honest truth and appreciation.  We all deserve those!

I worry about them because I doubt they take care of themselves.  I know they don't get enough sleep and I’m equally sure they have enormous stress in their life. I pray for their health and safety every day!  I wish for peace and happiness to fill their life very soon.  I also wish I knew they were Ok more often... but I don't want to cause my friend more trouble or stress.  That's the last thing I want to do.

I know it’s none of my business; however I understand what it’s like to live your life doing your best with little or no appreciation.  In addition to having outside influences cause unnecessary trouble and needless stress. I also know what it’s like to be in a relationship where the other person is selfish and self-serving.  Because of my own experiences, I have enormous compassion and understanding. I also feel I have a right to care… as a friend and as a human being in this world.  We all should care how people are treated!  The world would be a better place if we all had a little more humility.

Humility, or being humble, is the quality of being modest, reverential, even politely submissive, and never being arrogant, contemptuous, rude or even self-abasing. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, being connected with notions of transcendent unity and of egolessness.  Which mean having no emotional state of ego or selfishness.

Humility is often rewarded in relationships. It is the way of the world to fill the empty cup. Regardless of your position, humility is a positive and deceptively powerful attribute. True humility is a virtue to which all should aspire.

The happiest people are those who know how to bring each situation into balance by reducing that which is too great in their lives, and by adding to that which is too little. A humble person craves not power, but balanced and stable relationships. Humility is the virtue that allows you to perceive the balancing force; humble people are not prey to the many illusions that grow out of self-importance. If humility is not natural to our disposition, we should make a conscious effort to develop it.

“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

"This is the wish we should all have for each other: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life." ~ Author Unknown

Manipulative People: Covert Aggressive Personality Disorder
Video on Narcissism