The Right Circles...

"Friendships that support you and your values, are your needs answered."~Danish Proverb

This is so true.... sticking with those with shared values, morals and principles is important for so many reasons.  You also find your voice, confidence and courage to stand up for what you believe in when you are surround yourself with liked minded people with principles and integrity.

"Your voice is your tool and represents you.  It's important to have a good circle of friends where you can use your voice, be understood and supported."

"One piece of log creates a small fire, adequate to warm you up; add just a few more pieces to blast an immense bonfire, large enough to warm up your entire circle of friends; needless to say that individuality counts but team work dynamites."~Jin Kwon

Random Thoughts... for 2012

"Our life always expresses the results of our prominent thoughts." ~Soren Kierkegaa

This past year has flown by faster than any I can remember.  As a new year it about to begin, I have hundreds of thoughts and memories running through my mind each time I sit to write in my journal or work on my book.  Since I've been too busy to blog much in the past year, I thought I'd add a few of them now.  

• 2012 started Happy, had highs & lows & ended Great.
• The trials in between had much needed lessons.
• Everyone has experienced trauma in their life.
• We should all have more empathy and compassion.
• Traumas can transform if allowed to push us forward.
• I have shared experiences with my best of friends.
• We must leave our comfort zones in order to grow.
• That was needed for my new career and direction.
• We often stay in jobs and situations out of Fear.
• Have Faith! You don't know, what you don't know.
• Sleep deprivation is everyone's worst enemy. 
• Negative environments are not worth the damage.  
• Unhappy people find fault with each other.
• Hurting people, hurt others.  Don't let them hurt you.
• Showing kindness, can stop the negative verbiage
• Standing up for yourself shows self-respect.
• Immature people push blame and want revenge.
• Mature people try to understand why things happen.
• Respect, the words used and tone of voice do matter.
• It takes 10 positives to make up for 1 negative.
• Nikki Haley is my example of strength and leadership.
• She has character and someone I'd like to emulate.
• Being strong annoys the people who want control.
• We're suppose to put our children First!
• No amount of critisisum over the years helped us.
• Volunteering and getting involved is so rewarding.
• I meet the most amazing people when I volunteer.
• We all need our own friends, interest... Lives.
• No one should depend on you for their happiness.
• Anymore than you should depend on someone else.
• When you're direct and honest; don't ever feel guilty.
• It's more important what someone does than says.
• I'm not emotional any longer because I'm not afraid.
• I'm not afraid of dying or the future; I have Faith.
• When I see death, I pray for the souls and families.
• Kindness and Compassion are a Hugh part of my job.  
• The last job prepared me for my current career/job.
• Having the passion for it, makes me really good at it.
• So much accomplished... so much more I want to do!

"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see." ~John Burroughs

 What we overcome... helps us Grow

What's meant to be....

"When people come into your life for only a SEASON... It was meant to be.  They come for a REASON...  So, let it be..."

"What's meant to be will always find a way."

As the poem goes:  'People come into our life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime...'  It's often times hard for us to determine, in the beginning, which of those a person is supposed to be.  Primarily because we ourselves are too close to the situation to be objective.  Often times our own wants and needs, get in the way of just letting situations and relationships just take it's course..., whatever that course may be.

What gets many of us in trouble, is when our desires cause us to see situations and people the way we wish them to be and believe what we want to.  When these feeling and emotions take over, it sometimes allows us to assume and even expect something that may or may not... meant to be. 

Most of us, however, can see the truth later on... which of those 3 they were and even see why we were meant to meet that person... no matter how long or how brief.  God then hopes that we also see the reason or lesson... and there is always a reason along with a lesson or two.  

I've personally been on both sides.  When I was naive and too trusting, I was the person picturing happy, even romantic futures.  Then as I grew and became much more intuitive and understanding of the paths and lessons that we are to encounter throughout our life times.  Now a days I seem to be on the other side where I feel I'm the person who comes into lives for a reason, maybe even a season to support, direct or help in some way.  

I believe that we are all meant to be the 'Reason, Season or Lifetime' for many, many people throughout our lives.  Sometimes, unfortunately we encounter someone who misunderstands why we've met.  They assume and even expect things that are just not meant to be or why we are here for them.  They don't see what we are here to teach or show them.   

It's a touchy situation when have to set boundaries, while continuing to be a good friend and teach the lessons that God has placed them there to do.  That person has to remain strong, listen to their intuition or gut... and stay true to their heart and only be what they are meant to be for that person.  

The main lessons I've learned are: self love first; be the person you wish to find; do the things you want to do with that person someday; and above all else... never expect, never assume, never demand... just let it be and enjoy the moment, the friendship or the situation.  

"Maybe some people just aren't meant to be in our lives forever.  Maybe some people are just passing through.  It's like some people just come through our lives to bring us something: a gift, a blessing, a lesson we need to learn.  And that's why they're here.  You'll have that gift forever." ~Danielle Steel, The Gif

Love them or Leave them
Can Men and Women be friends?

Come from a place of Love

"Come from a place of Love, not anger or frustration."~Me

lightworkersworld.com

I've struggled so many times in my life to find balance with keeping the power and control over my own life; while also coming from a heart of understanding, compassion and even love.  It's not always easy.

I try hard to stay away from negative and gossipy people who think they know everything about everyone.  However sometimes I admit I get sucked in to it when I have my guard down; I'm lonely, tired or just having a bad day.  Causing me to have doubts about people I care about; second guessing my own intuition and heart.

I realize now that when I allow others opinions to influence how I feel, that I'm reacting out of Fear.  Fear of making another mistake; fear of being hurt and even fear of gossip.  None of those things should control or even be a factor in what I decide or do.  I fail greatly when I let it.

"We should never react out of fear.  We should always respond out of Love."~ME

Most of the time when I feel anger, it's really from the Fear of one of those possibilities.  When I find fault and react out of Fear; that distorted sense of control never last.  It only causes me to have regret and guilt later on.  All because I allowed outside chatter and negativity get to me.

There are times when I've shut the door on friends because of the drama going on in their lives.  I believed when I was told I should be scared or even angry.  Those 'words of advice' are always coming from negative chatter; not from a heart of compassion, understanding or Love.

When we come from a place of Love, we have Understanding and Compassion.  I moved twice to give my son... understanding and compassion from teachers and staff that truly cared.   It made all the difference in his life.  That's why I'm always looking for people like that in my own life.

How does the saying go.... "Be the person you wish to find."   I agree... and in regards to all our relationships.   I'm trying hard not to be influenced by 'fear'... so I can follow my heart... reaching out to friends and anyone I 'feel' needs me to; without hesitation or fear.

Fear is the only thing that has ever held me back from coming from a place of Love.  I pray that there are special people in my life that know and understand that now.

"Negativity comes from Fear.  Love stops negativity in it's tracks."~Me

Wishing they were by your side...

"It's crazy how you can go months or even years without talking to someone but they still cross your mind everyday." ~Unknown

Have you every met someone that you instantly were drawn too?  Connecting in such a unique way that you feel like you've known each other before... in a distant past that you've long forgotten when that was.  Yet you still know that on some level you have.  I certainly have at least once.

As incredibly busy as this entire year has been, I still think about them every day.  In a happy yet kind of sad way too... because I'm wondering how they are, where they are and what they're doing... and I miss them.

It's not that I'm unhappy in my own life; because I'm actually happier than I've ever been.  Strong, confident, social, and busy working on my dreams and life... even driven at times to the point of exhaustion.  Yet... there's something still missing.

At the end of each busy day, I finally take a moment or two to reflect on the day, before planning for the next and getting some needed rest.   It is at that time I can hear my intuition loud and clear telling me what I'm still missing in my life, along with that long list of reasons why they are so special.

Then once again, I feel a tug at my heart where that empty space is and know exactly why it's there... because I'm missing someone and wishing at that moment they were by my side.

Half Full & Aloha Friday question

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“Happiness comes from the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to take risk and allow yourself to love." ~Me

Half Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eye Girl originally started in June 2009.  Now the it is hosted by Sprinkles at Wyldechylde.  We believe that a lot of our happiness is determined by our attitude about the things that happen to us. So by participating, we are deciding to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. We are choosing to concentrate on the positives, instead of dwelling on the negatives. Our Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that. They are a list of the things in our life that have brought us happiness over the past week. We are determined to find the something good in every day. Are you?

“Some pursue happiness - others create it."

For the next week, we challenge you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day.

I'm Happy and Thankful for many things every day... especially this week:

• For the beautiful flowers from the 'senior' students!  They graduate tonight & I wish them much happiness & success!  I'm sure going to miss this class!

• For listening to my intuition last week and avoiding a bad situation. 

• For all the new friendships I've made in the last 2 years!   Each one has helped me grow in some way. 

"Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth, We are happy when we are growing." ~William Butler Yeats

It's also "ALOHA FRIDAY" Everyone!!  If you want to join in the fun? Post your own question on your blog and leave your link at the Aloha Friday post at An Island Life. Then you can visit the other participants if you wish...It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends or see what people are thinking about this week and join in a conversation or two if you like.

"The cornerstone of happiness is accepting yourself as a worthy human being." - Maxwell Maltz

My question:  What 'growth' has brought you the most happiness?

My answer:  Love, Understanding and Acceptance of self... which lead to the same for others.

“Growth itself contains the germ of happiness.”- Pearl S. Buck 

View from my window today.  Love it! :-)

Have a Beautiful weekend, everyone!!
Hugs and Blessings to you All,

~ Coreen XO

Everlasting Friend... Everylasting Blessing

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"A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you've been, accepts who you've become, and still invites you to grow" ~unknown

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It has been said that everlasting friends can go long periods of time without seeing each other or even speaking... yet never question the friendship. These friends pick up like they just spoke yesterday, regardless of how long it has been or how far away they live, and they don't hold grudges. They understand that life is busy and.. you will ALWAYS love them.  If you have at least 1 of these friends... re-post or share this. Because friends like this will know who they are! ♥

"Our Friendship, like God's love, is a true, honest and everlasting blessing." ~unknown

Everyone Needs Someone

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sayingimages.com

Everyone Needs Someone

People need people and friends need friends

And we all need love for a full life depends

Not on vast riches or great acclaim,

Not on success or on worldly fame,

But just in knowing that someone cares

And holds us close in their thoughts and prayers-

For only the knowledge that we're understood

Makes everyday living feel wonderfully good,

And we rob ourselves of life's greatest need

When we "lock up our hearts" and fail to heed

The outstretched hand reaching to find

A kindred spirit whose heart and mind

Are lonely and longing to somehow share

Our joys and sorrows and to make us aware

That life's completeness and richness depends

On the things we share with our loved ones and friends.

~ Helen Steiner Rice

Prayer for my Friends...

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”The true friend is the one who’s coming in the door while everyone else is going out. Friends are the ones who love you when you’re hard to love, stand by you when it’s not the popular thing to do and are there for you when you need it, even if it means they don’t get anything back.” ~ Author unknown

petwebworld.com

Prayer for my Friends

I will pray for you, my friend.

I will name you in my heart before God and ask all His blessing be upon you.

I will be concerned for your safety and your daily mood.

I will be sympathetic to your personal needs and desires in each day of your life.

I will wish you well in your learning, or your work, in your domestic round and your happiness.

I will think of you at the close of each day and pray that God’s peace be with you.

If you have been especially kind or helpful to me then I will make my gratitude known to you.

If you are in trouble or difficulty of any kind, or simply tired and worn down, I will do all and anything I can to lift your spirits.

I will ache for you in your sorrows and disasters and rejoice with you in your joys and triumphs.

I will love and care for you as I love and care for myself.

~ Author unknown

She is crazy...but very smart.

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She is crazy, but very smart.  She has spies everywhere because she is very clever and knows how to pull people in with her lies and perception of the truth. She gets them to 'spy for her' and tell her things by being very 'sweet' and manipulating her half truths to get people to feel sorry for her.  Those she pulls in are willing to help her because they either believe her lies or are very nosy and want to know what they 'think' is going on in other peoples' lives.  Gossip is a form of entertainment for them.  Many are phony to people's faces, then talk behind their backs.  These people should be fired, but their bosses don’t know.

She also has a 6th sense, however she doesn’t use it for good or to make better life choices. She uses it to get what she wants.  The knowledge she gains from her spies, along with her just ‘knowing’ at times, is what she uses to manipulate the people in her life. She uses guilt to get her way or makes up lies to gain sympathy from others and then gains control whenever someone tries to pull away from them.

She doesn’t care what she says, how she acts or who she hurts. Their world and perceptions revolve only around themselves and what they want. The people that they are supposed to love, including her own children, get put in the middle and used for leverage. She keeps her man awake at night arguing, not caring if he gets enough sleep, has to get up early or has a long drive to work and back home each day.  Not caring if the fighting and stress effects his job or if he gets in an accident because she didn't let him get enough sleep. She doesn’t care. She thinks it serves him right for her not getting what she wants. She is selfish and self-serving.  She has an excuse for everything. 

People like this, both male and female, must be very insecure and feel threatened, for whatever reason or excuse they come up with.  They take no responsibility for their own choices or actions. They are obviously miserable in their own lives, so they cause trouble in other peoples, with their actions and behaviors.  Most even act as if everything in life is about them.  It shows in their manipulation and constant rudeness toward others.

I know several people like this. At one time I actually tried to be friends with one of them. Mostly because I didn’t want them as an enemy. I saw what they were capable of. I also tried to see the good in everyone and wanted to be friends with all that I met back then.  I now know I don't want to be friends with everyone.  Another part of me thought I needed to become strong enough to ‘handle’ people like this.  That it would make me a better person.

I was wrong!  I saw the malicious things these types of people are capable of... first hand.  The friendships they ruined and the lives they tried to destroy.   People like that are no good to be around... no matter how strong you are or how nice a person you want to be. Their self-centered nature, self-serving motives and negative attitudes... can suck the life right out of you if you let them.

I have a very good friend who is in a similar situation.  Looking from the outside in, I feel they have a person just like this around them.  They are negatively and maliciously affecting their life.  My friend is a really nice person, hard worker, great parent and an all around good person. They put everyone else first in their lives, because that is who they are.  Every human being deserves to be treated with respect at the very least. Along with the honest truth and appreciation.  We all deserve those!

I worry about them because I doubt they take care of themselves.  I know they don't get enough sleep and I’m equally sure they have enormous stress in their life. I pray for their health and safety every day!  I wish for peace and happiness to fill their life very soon.  I also wish I knew they were Ok more often... but I don't want to cause my friend more trouble or stress.  That's the last thing I want to do.

I know it’s none of my business; however I understand what it’s like to live your life doing your best with little or no appreciation.  In addition to having outside influences cause unnecessary trouble and needless stress. I also know what it’s like to be in a relationship where the other person is selfish and self-serving.  Because of my own experiences, I have enormous compassion and understanding. I also feel I have a right to care… as a friend and as a human being in this world.  We all should care how people are treated!  The world would be a better place if we all had a little more humility.

Humility, or being humble, is the quality of being modest, reverential, even politely submissive, and never being arrogant, contemptuous, rude or even self-abasing. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, being connected with notions of transcendent unity and of egolessness.  Which mean having no emotional state of ego or selfishness.

Humility is often rewarded in relationships. It is the way of the world to fill the empty cup. Regardless of your position, humility is a positive and deceptively powerful attribute. True humility is a virtue to which all should aspire.

The happiest people are those who know how to bring each situation into balance by reducing that which is too great in their lives, and by adding to that which is too little. A humble person craves not power, but balanced and stable relationships. Humility is the virtue that allows you to perceive the balancing force; humble people are not prey to the many illusions that grow out of self-importance. If humility is not natural to our disposition, we should make a conscious effort to develop it.

“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

"This is the wish we should all have for each other: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life." ~ Author Unknown

Manipulative People: Covert Aggressive Personality Disorder
Video on Narcissism

I Am Your Friend ...

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I Am Your Friend

You may not see me now

But you know that I am here.

You can feel me in your heart

As you enter each new day.

I will always be there for you

I am your friend.

Someone to share the good times

As well as the bad.

I make no judgments by what you say

I just listen with my heart and

Hope to be of help in anyway I can.

I will be there for you now and forever

And always please remember

I am your friend!

- Author Unknown



123Greeting.com

True Friendship

True friendship isn't seen with the eyes, it is felt with the heart.

When there is trust, understanding, loyalty, and sharing.

True friendship is a rare feeling, but when it is found

It has profound impact on our well-being, strength, and character.

True friendship does not need elaborate gifts

Or spectacular events in order to be valuable or valued.

To ensure long-lasting quality and satisfaction,

True friendship only needs a few key ingredients:

Undying loyalty, unmatched understanding, unsurpassed trust,

Deep and soulful secrets, and endless sharing.

These ingredients, mixed with personality and a sense of humor,

Can make a friendship last a lifetime!

This is just a thank you, my friend, for all the wonderful and colorful

Special ingredients You've brought to my life!

- Author Unknown

Pass this on to such a friend!

 

The Lotus Touts... tips for a Good Life and Great Relatioionships.

Lotus Touts means Good Luck.  It originates from Feng Shui which is an ancient Chinese system of aesthetics believed to use the laws of both Heaven (astronomy) and Earth (geography) to help one improve life by receiving positives.  There are many translations and spin offs of it.  Feng Shui is demonstrated in architecture now and western cultures are embracing it.

The Lotus Touts is a list of  Good Guidelines for Life and Relationships.  They should be posted in our homes right along with 'Love is' and 'House Rules' prints.  There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This Lotus Touts has been provided to you for good luck and good advice only. 

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE.. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye..

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE.... Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

For more on Feng Shui and tips to improve your life, relationships and bringing more positive energy into your life:  About Feng Shui.com    Absolutely Feng Shui   The World of Feng Shui

Half Full & Aloha Friday!

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"The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose." – Kahlil Gibran

"A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more."- Sent by Jasmine Fitzwilliam

Half Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eye Girl originally started in June 2009.We believe that a lot of our happiness is determined by our attitude about the things that happen to us. So by participating, we are deciding to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. We are choosing to concentrate on the positives, instead of dwelling on the negatives. Our Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that. They are a list of the things in our life that have brought us happiness over the past week. We are determined to find the something good in every day. Are you?

"The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection" - Thomas Paine

For the next week, we challenge you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day.

"Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life." - (sent by Dior Yamasaki)

This is what I'm Happy for this week:

• I am happy is was able to help and calm a good friend this week & give her Hope!  
• I am happy it's Friday because I have a lot to get done this weekend.
• I am happy my son asked for help this week!  A Hugh step!
• I am happy I got to talk to my son in Texas this week! 
• I am happy to know another friend is still in the area.

""A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." ~ Anonymous

It's also "ALOHA FRIDAY" Everyone!!

If you want to join in the fun? Post your own question on your blog and leave your link at the Aloha Friday post at An Island Life. Then you can visit the other participants if you wish...It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends or see what people are thinking about this week and join in a conversation or two if you like.

"A Friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway!!!" - (sent by Heather Tallent)

My question:  When do you give a friend advice?  Only when they ask for it or when you think they 'need to hear it' anyway?  Are you 'kind' about it or are you judgemental and harsh, because you think you know best?

My answer:   I feel that being harsh or judgemental never helps anyone feel better or gives them the strength they need.  Encouragement, loving support and kindness goes along ways.  I only give advice when it is asked whenever possible.  However I try to always be supportive and may tell some personal experience stories to get a message or idea to them.  That seems to work really well when I want to help without telling them what I think they should do!  I'm not in their shoes, even if I've been in their situation. 

In extreme cases, when  someone is being abused, I try to 'help' more.  Of course if it is physically, I'm more aggressive.  However usually it is a friend being verbally abused and/or emotionally manipulated.  Again, my first hand experiences give me compassion as well as understanding.  Which most of the time, that is what most people need in times of stress or trauma in their lives.  Isn't that what we would all like from a friend or family member...... Compassion and Understanding?!

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself." - Sent by Lysha

Blessings & Hugs to you All,
Coreen
 

When to help and when to walk away....

I am very intuitive and ‘emotional’ in the sense that I can ‘feel’ the emotions and tensions of the people around me. I know when people are lying or angry, even if they deny either of those things. I can tell when something is wrong and can even guess with unnerving accuracy what has happened at times.

Being in tune like that is very draining and really a downer sometimes. I can get sucked into other peoples’ lives and ‘dramas’ very easily. I have to be very careful as to how much of another person’s troubles I take in, because they will end up weighing on me after a while.

Now I love to help people and I want to be a good friend, don’t get me wrong. I just need to be careful. I need to set limits on the amount of energy and time from my own life I am capable and willing to put forth. I also want to be careful not to overstep any boundaries in a friends' life.

Even more importantly, the person I am trying to help must want help and be willing to accept it. I’ve learned the hard way, more than once, that you can’t help someone who doesn’t really want to improve their situation or want to change, if that is what’s needed. The old saying is true; you can’t help someone who isn’t willing to help themselves.

So when, as a friend, do you speak up and step in to help? When do you walk away from a friendship, even though you still care, because it’s draining the life right out of you or sacrificing your own health and well being? When you first suspect they are not trying to improve their situation? Or when it’s starting to affect your own family or other friendships?

I take all of that into consideration and then listen to my intuition or ‘gut’. If I feel anxiety or an unsettling feeling that the person isn’t telling the truth, then I back away. If they reach out to me, I will be honest and as good a friend as they will let me be.  However, I will never pacify a situation that I think is wrong. Or tell someone that ‘it’s ok’ when it’s not.

I don’t feel either of those would be any help to the person in the long run. I wouldn’t want my friends to sugar coat anything with me. I would want my friends to be honest with me! Those are true friends in my book!