"The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose." – Kahlil Gibran
"A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more."- Sent by Jasmine FitzwilliamHalf Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eye Girl originally started in June 2009.We believe that a lot of our happiness is determined by our attitude about the things that happen to us. So by participating, we are deciding to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. We are choosing to concentrate on the positives, instead of dwelling on the negatives. Our Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that. They are a list of the things in our life that have brought us happiness over the past week. We are determined to find the something good in every day. Are you?
"The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection" - Thomas PaineFor the next week, we challenge you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day.
"Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life." - (sent by Dior Yamasaki)
- I am happy is was able to help and calm a good friend this week & give her Hope!
- I am happy it's Friday because I have a lot to get done this weekend.
- I am happy my son asked for help this week! A Hugh step!
- I am happy I got to talk to my son in Texas this week!
- I am happy to know another friend is still in the area.
""A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." ~ Anonymous
It's also "ALOHA FRIDAY" Everyone!!
If you want to join in the fun? Post your own question on your blog and leave your link at the Aloha Friday post at An Island Life. Then you can visit the other participants if you wish...It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends or see what people are thinking about this week and join in a conversation or two if you like."A Friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway!!!" - (sent by Heather Tallent)
My question: When do you give a friend advice? Only when they ask for it or when you think they 'need to hear it' anyway? Are you 'kind' about it or are you judgemental and harsh, because you think you know best?
My answer: I feel that being harsh or judgemental never helps anyone feel better or gives them the strength they need. Encouragement, loving support and kindness goes along ways. I only give advice when it is asked whenever possible. However I try to always be supportive and may tell some personal experience stories to get a message or idea to them. That seems to work really well when I want to help without telling them what I think they should do! I'm not in their shoes, even if I've been in their situation.
In extreme cases, when someone is being abused, I try to 'help' more. Of course if it is physically, I'm more aggressive. However usually it is a friend being verbally abused and/or emotionally manipulated. Again, my first hand experiences give me compassion as well as understanding. Which most of the time, that is what most people need in times of stress or trauma in their lives. Isn't that what we would all like from a friend or family member...... Compassion and Understanding?!
"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself." - Sent by LyshaBlessings & Hugs to you All,
Coreen
Happy Friday Coreen!
ReplyDeleteIt's a thin line between giving advice and sounding like a no-it-all.I just take it case by case.
ReplyDeleteHave a great Friday!
http://harrietandfriends.com/2010/09/shes-older-than-i-am-doesnt-have-a-wrinkle-can-still-dress-like-that-and-a-great-looking-car/
Hi Coreen, We all need to think about and list things which make us happy, because even on bad days, we still have so much in our lives to be happy about. Writing it down helps.
ReplyDeleteThe other question you asked is harder for me. What do you do when a good friend is making UNWISE choices? It's hard sometimes to be a real friend --if we continue to agree, affirm and not judge her for her choices. BUT--since we don't want to 'hurt' our friends, there has to be a place in friendship where we can talk honestly without hurting someone. This is very hard for me --since my best friend is making some horrible choices about her life, and I don't know how to help her. I just pray for guidance constantly--but it is quite upsetting.
Hugs,
Betsy
Positive and upbeat. Good thoughts for the day. And I really like the quotes.
ReplyDeleteAll great things to be happy for! I joined in this week...so very fun and encouraging!
ReplyDeleteI give advice when someone ask and when they don't. I'm always supportive and honest and never sugar coat things. I also know when to just listen and keep my thoughts to myself.
ReplyDeleteThis chick tries to only give a friend advice when asked. A true friend knows when to step up and break that rule when it is in your friends best interest.
ReplyDeleteNo, I did not write the book, I read it, take the pic (I had fun with it, can ya tell) and write the review. I won the book and offered to review it.
God bless ya and have an incredible weekend girl!
Constantly striving to be a person that 'cares enough to confront'- respectfully and not making the other person lose face. Folks have cared enough for me to do just that and I'm so glad for their love and influence. Wise people listen to and even seek advice from others who have been there and have more life experiences. Often it is just a matter of waiting for God's timing on when to say what someone needs to hear. Sometimes the 'hurt' someone has inflicted has not harmed me but rather made me realize that I needed healing! Interesting and thought provoking post!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by for a visit! Blessings!
I love the concept of Half Full Fridays. A positive attitude and Gratitude are a powerful things. I'm going to try to join you next Friday. This is why I love reading blogs!
ReplyDeletei give friends advice when they ask for or when they have given me permission to speak in to their life...nice grat list...good job being that friend to your friend...
ReplyDeleteA fine list. I'm always happy to speak to my long-distance son too. I'm grateful that you found my blog and left a comment today. :)
ReplyDeleteAdvice.. since you asked... ;) is only given when requested unless I see a true train wreck about to happen. Thankfully, those times are very rare.
Happy Friday! I am totally with you! I don't give unasked for advice! And I try to be kind and use examples, otherwise people get very defensive and don't want to hear it. One thing I am thankful for today is you and your blog!! Hope you have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteThis Friday post is fantastic. We should always reflect on our 'goods and happys' for the week and it looks like you had lots of good stuff to be happy about ~ good for you.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a Happy weekend too!
xo Catherine
You sure have a lot to be happy about Coreen:) Have a wonderful weekend. I am happy too!:) XXX000
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh Coreen - my blog is about exactly the same thing. You thoughts are my thoughts exactly! (Did you steal my brain waves - some times I swear I can't find them).
ReplyDeleteI feel that we are responsible for making ourselves happy (no one is perfect) and that we must indeed look at things through rose colored glasses.
Nice meeting you!
sandie w/♥
Oh my gosh Coreen - my blog is about exactly the same thing. You thoughts are my thoughts exactly! (Did you steal my brain waves - some times I swear I can't find them).
ReplyDeleteI feel that we are responsible for making ourselves happy (no one is perfect) and that we must indeed look at things through rose colored glasses.
Nice meeting you!
sandie w/♥
I would only offer my advice or thoughts if I was asked.
ReplyDeleteI never give advice unless asked. Especially with my wife!
ReplyDeleteA wonderful post Coreen, I think I would give advice only when asked but that's me,
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful week-end.
Yvonne.
Good week of things to be happy about!
ReplyDeleteYou sound like an excellent friend. Sometimes it's hard to hold your tongue when you want to give someone advice but they haven't asked for it.
What a happy post! Thanks for reminding us how much we have to be happy about!
ReplyDeleteyes you are a happy person, have a great weekend xx
ReplyDeletei think giving advice depends on the closness of the relationship, the other person's personality. each situation is different. when in doubt, ask this friend if they want your opinion.
ReplyDeleteHi Coreen,
ReplyDeleteSeeing the glass as half full is always a good idea like being thankful to what is left than what is gone. I am glad that you are having some good times with your sons.
Have a great weekend!
I'm with you. It depend on the situation. Most of the time people just want a shoulder to cry on.
ReplyDeleteMy rule of thumb is I don't give advice unless someone specifically asks for it, and I approach it from a positive side of encouragement and preface it with it being strictly my opinion, not telling them what they should or shouldn't do in a specific situation. :)
ReplyDeleteAloha: Brownies/Girl Scouts
just stopped by to say hi..."Hi"
ReplyDeleteThis post is just full of profound quotes. Thanks for sharing and thanks for being a really long time follower. I appreciate you as a follower and your comments.
I am a really big advice giver but I usually ask before I give it. I am also pretty honest which turns out to be harsh sometimes but I think it is important to hear the truth.
ReplyDeleteLove all the quotes. I am determined to find myself in every day. Even if the day is not positive if I know who and where I am I feel I will cope.
ReplyDeleteOh, I loved this post. And the friendship quotes were so great. This week seems to be about friendships:) Good!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I try to make my friend laugh if at all possible, depending on the situation. I'm with you, no judgements, just try and understand and help.
Lovely post. Have a great weekend! *Hugs*
Aloha, for my life long friend I will often give suggestions and try to assist them in decision making. Never judgemental. I know that people will often move away from people like that and make irrational choices if pushed too much.
ReplyDeleteIf I feel to say something, I'll ask their permission. If it's granted then they are willing to hear.
ReplyDeleteSometimes they don't want more advice, they just want you to listen...to nod.
Love your list, glad you could help a friend. It is a fine line!
ReplyDeletekim
Hi Coreen!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog and visiting the Follow Friday 40 and Over Blog Hop!
I am now following you. Please follow me if you haven't already done so!!
I would also like to invite you to join the Over 40 Bloggers Club!! Take a look and join in the fun!
Have a wonderful weekend!!
Java
Oh Coreen, what an inspirational read, we often fall into taking the good in our lives for granted, it's easy to only notice bumpy bits! I am certainly happy for your visit this morning which lit my day up (smile). Oh gosh, giving advice can be such a minefielf, I often find if I am asked to give it, the friend who asks is often really seeking confirmation of what they know they are going to do, anyway. I am happy to be a "sounding board", but try not to inflict my opinion on anyone (unless it's my children, that's a whole 'nother ball game)!
ReplyDeleteHope you have a wonderful weekend, dear lady (x).
Love all the beautiful quotes in this post, particularly the first one by Khalil Gibran. What an inspirational writing indeed, friendship is so important...
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely weekend,
xo
I try to remember to NEVER give advice. No one wants it...even when they ask! It is rarely heeded and most unwelcome.
ReplyDeleteEven with my children I try to remember to not tell them my opinion! Sometimes it is very difficult to keep my mouth shut! Ha!
Hugs
SueAnn
I really enjoyed reading the posts on your blog. I would like to invite you to come on over to my blog and check it out. God bless, Lloyd
ReplyDeleteHey! I just found you from Follow me on Friday and I really like your site. Please stop by and visit with me and I look forward to reading more of what you have to say.
ReplyDeleteCarol-the gardener
I try to encourage and be empathetic and sympathetic. If they ask, I'll be honest, but not harsh. Sometimes, when it's obvious they're heading in a really bad, destructive direction, I'll give it. Honestly, but not harshly. Sometimes you just got to be the 'mommy' and try to keep them from getting hurt.
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful that Roo's eyes are getting better. And that I got to go to the eye doc myself. Also for my boss letting me hang out in the office while my vision tried to clear up. And for my husband. Just for being him....
What a lovely post! Friends are so important. I try hard not to be judgmental and to listen. I find a lot of the time, people just want to talk and don't really want advice.
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful this week that 2 people in my close circle got good news about serious health concerns. :)
Coreen,
ReplyDeleteThanks for always being there for me, and especially this week, you always know how to make me feel better. I sure hope things work out the way you think they are going to. I am so proud of you, and this page is great. Keep up the good work, and I am sure we will be talking soon, Love ya like a sister.
Great post. I tend not to give advice unless I'm asked or I see a situation that needs to be addressed. Although, now that I think about it, I do give my son not-asked-for advice sometimes, but I dress it as suggestions.
ReplyDeleteHelen
your answer- very well said! Yay for the friend and your sons!!!
ReplyDeleteNow I loved all of this, but especially this one....""A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself." - Sent by Lysha "
ReplyDeleteThank you for continuing to join me for Half Full Fridays! :)
ReplyDelete