Life changing true stories told to encourage, empower and inspire us!

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"Fill your mind with light, happiness, hope, feelings of security and strength, and soon your life will reflect these qualities." ~Unknown

Email me anytime: coreen.velvetoversteel@gmail.com

"The Greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance!" ~Brian Tracy

All post and stories are the sole property of Velvet Over Steel aka Coreen Trost. I write and create post in order to help others, so share as you want. I just ask that you link back or give VOS credit. Some of the stories are going into a book in progress. Thank You ALL.. for your support and help!!
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." ~ John Quincy Adams
Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label truth. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Just Honesty...


"Just be Honest with Yourself.  That Opens the Door." ~Vernon Howard
lailashares.wordpress.com
"Honesty is an active verb, not a passive noun. Go out of your way to be truthful, beginning with the things that you say to yourself." ~Joe Tye, America’s Values Coach  
“Walking your talk is a great way to motivate yourself. No one likes to live a lie. Be honest with yourself, and you will find the motivation to do what you advise others to do." ~Vince Poscente (Olympian, Speaker and Author)  
"Being vulnerable doesn't have to be threatening. Just have the courage to be sincere, open and honest. This opens the door to deeper communication all around. It creates self-empowerment and the kind of connections with others we all want in life. Speaking from the heart frees us from the secrets that burden us. These secrets are what make us sick or fearful. Speaking truth helps you get clarity on your real heart directives." ~Sara Paddison, The Hidden Power of the Heart 

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Messages from the Universe


January 29, 2012
This is the 'message' I received in a fortune cookie this weekend; "You will discover the truth in time."  Some of you may notice the connection to some recent post of mine.  ;-)

I have written and shared several post in the past few months... about truth, honesty, and finding answers.  Most of these post were written after several eye opening experiences, resulting in revelations about both people and situations I thought I knew and understood. Realizing I didn't because people aren't always honest with themselves, making it impossible to be honest with me or anyone else for that matter.

Discovering "the truth" for both myself and several friends recently, has lead to even greater empathy and compassion.  So getting this as my 'fortune' certainly caught my attention.   

As I re-read this I catch the words 'in time'... now that could mean so many things couldn't it?!  Will I discover the 'truth' this week, next week, next month or next year?!  Curiosity has me intrigued yet again... to where I suddenly have more questions and a need for more answers.  

We all receive signs and messages throughout our days and life.  Most people just don't stop to see them or don't believe.

Do you believe in 'signs' from above?  Do you see things like this as a 'message' or 'answer' from the Universe?  

I certainly do, but must always remember that even with messages, signs, answers and even the truth... everything still happens in God's timing.  

Monday, January 23, 2012

Living the Truth


"Living the Truth in your Heart without compromise brings kindness to the world and true happiness to yourself and those you love.  Attempts at kindness that compromise your heart cause only sadness." ~author unknown
pastorerickson.com
Truth
To the extent that you entertain lies and deceit, you are held prisoner in a world cut off from reality. The truth you hide from yourself, prevents you from growth and fulfillment. The truth you hide from others, keeps you distantly apart.

The truth shines a bright light on life, so you can clearly see the way to go. Success, achievement, happiness, joy, fellowship, and fulfillment, thrive in the warm and nurturing light of the truth.

Honesty is the most direct path to wherever you want to go. Truth and honesty are often difficult, yet never more difficult, in the end, than deceit. To think otherwise, is to deceive even yourself. Hiding in the shadows of falsehood, makes it impossible to move forward.

That the truth is moral and ethical, is no secret. Yet truth is also practical, efficient, and effective in every worthy pursuit, something well known by those who enjoy lasting success.

Live in the bright, empowering light. Embrace the truth. It always serves you best.

— Ralph Marston (www.greatday.com)

“Unless your Heart, your soul, and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless.  Truth and Honesty with yourself are the roots of happiness.” ~Author Unknown
More Post 
Living a Lie
Betrayal has many forms

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Random Tuesday Thoughts... Just so you know ;-)


"Random thoughts are received with no context for it, no pre-conceived notions or bias." ~unknown
http://diyphotography.net

Just so you know... I know more than I say
... but somethings should be left unsaid.

Just so you know... I set my boundaries
... I'm disconnecting from others' dramas.

Just so you know... I refuse to be a pawn
... or a scape goat in others' dramas or issues.

Just so you know... when I insist on answers
... I'm taking back my power and control.

Just so you know... I learned the truth
... enough to make me stronger and wiser.

Just so you know... with prayer and friends
... I get through revelations with grace.

Just so you know... I am not a victim
... I've just been through a great deal of trials.

Just so you know... I stand up for myself
... while learning the lessons I need to.

Just so you know... finding my voice again
... has lead to more personal empowerment.

Just so you know... keep reading my blog
... I just may be writing to some of you. ;-)

HAPPY TUESDAY!!! :-)

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Heart to Heart talks...

123greetings.com
Heart to Heart talks are so important!  Yet in this day and age of busy schedules and technology, it seems that it's becoming almost rare.  I personally miss the days when people picked up the phone and actually talked for hours.  Communication allows us to get to know each other better.  Sharing experiences, thoughts and feelings... insights into our worlds, creates understanding and deep connections.   No technology can replace the feelings we each get from real voice or face to face conversations.

Now a days, it's too easy to quickly send an email or text, not giving the other person much more than words and facts.  We forget sometimes how much the tone of a voice or facial expressions convey the feelings, 'heart' and soul of the person speaking those words and telling the details or facts.

I had not talked to my sons recently except for emails and text messages because they have been so busy.  However this week I was able to actually talk to each of them at length on the phone and and we all got the 'feelings' and 'heart' behind the messages.  It was wonderful and even gave us all a sense of relief and understanding.  I miss having them closer and the ability to have these conversations face to face and 'heart to heart'.

There are others on my mind and in my 'heart' that I also miss and need to talk to also.  So I need to find the time and arrange the opportunities for more of those 'heart to heart' talks with them as well soon.  Either in person or on the phone, whatever works out.  It's so important, especially when we remember how short and unpredictable life can be.

I hope we all reach out and connect with someone on our hearts and minds today!
"Deep heart listening and speaking your truth generates an exhilarating "heart talk" frequency. "Heart talk" is care in action and builds friendship. As you learn to see everyone as your friend, and not as an enemy, you release judgments. Just keep your heart open to them as you speak your truth." ~Sara Paddison, Hidden Power of the Heart

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Knowledge Changes Things


"They say that 'time changes things' but I believe that it's really 'knowledge' that does." ~Me

gullibility.blogspot.com
When I look back on my life, I realize that it wasn't time that changed feelings and relationships, it was the knowledge or the truth that did.   From finding out what someone did or what someone said that wasn't true.  To seeing the face of betrayal or hearing the words of abuse.   Those events cause change in our lives, not from the time that passes, but from the knowledge gained.  

As an example, many feel their first love will last forever, but then they fall out of love later.  It's not time that changed things for some couples, it's the realization that one or the other is not the person they thought or believed them to be.  Maybe they had blinders on and didn't see their true character; and that their real values in life were very different or they just grew in differenct directions.  No matter the reason, these couples just aren't a match or good for each other anymore.  Either way, I feel it's the knowledge gained that changed the feelings and relationship. 

In my own life I've reacted to situations or friendships badly at times, because I didn't have all the facts... so I could understand.  The knowledge at the time, of what was really going on or what someone was going through.  I've felt bad when the truth came out and I changed my opinions, perspectives and even feelings... because of the knowledge I received or gained.

Eye-opening experiences, both kind and not so kind, change who we are.  It's knowledge, realizing the truth and accepting responsibility for both our actions and the actions of others that we allowed or can't control in our lives, that help us to grow... not time.  

I know people who have not grown or changed in their entire life.  Instead of taking the knowledge and lessons from life to make positive changes, they blame and complain; not taking responsibility for either their actions or when they didn't do anything to better a situation.   They seem to have not learned (knowledge) from their experiences in order to change their lives.  In cases like these, time hasn't changed a thing.

I will say though, that taking the time needed to go through the processes of life is needed.  Because each step in a process, gives us strength and confidence to make good decisions with peace of mind.   No doubt that taking our time, especially when making life changing decisions, is a good idea.

"I hope you all use the knowledge gained in your lives to make the decisions that bring you happiness and peace!" ~Coreen

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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Betrayal can have many forms.

zawaj.com

What is betrayal?  It's the breaking or violation of a presumptive trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals.

In relationships many people, men especially, think that if you don't 'cross that line' and sleep with someone other than the one you share your bed with at night, that you are being a faithful and even loyal partner.  That's not always true though.

When you get into bed with someone you don't love, you are not only betraying yourself, but you're cruelly betraying that other person.  Even if there is no one else in your heart or on your mind.  It's still betrayal; even if you live with or are even married to that person.  It's a cruel, sick and twisted game to play with anyone.

In the case where there is someone else on your heart, thoughts or in your dream, I feel that you are also betraying that person as well.   Even if they don't know how you feel for sure and you never 'crossed that line' with them.  If they do know, and believe me... they usually know, you are hurting them deeply as well.  Again, a cruel, sick and twisted game played not only with the 'truth' but with someone else's heart and life.

Every woman I know, and most men, would rather be hurt with the Truth, than to be either lied to, given half truths or excuses for their behavior.  It makes people feel rejected and used; even if you're married.  No one, male or female, wants to feel either of those.   It's heart breaking and humiliating!'

Each and every day that you live a lie with someone, you are betraying them.  Hurting and humiliating them beyond comprehension.  No one deserves that.  Whether you admit to 'falling out of love' or lie and say you loved them in the first place... at least on a subconscious level, the other person knows.   They know when you are not emotionally connected to them.  They can feel it, see it in your eyes or tell it by your actions.

This is when many times the unconsciously rejected partner becomes insecure, suspicious and assumes many things.  On a certain level, they are right... even if their partner or spouse never crossed that 'physical line' with someone else.  A person's intuition usually knows when they have, even if it's just in their mind or heart.

I've observed far to many friends hurt by this cruel, sick and twisted game.  Whether it's girlfriends or guy friends... the hurt, humiliation and damage is usually the same.  So for those who 'play this game'... look in the mirror; go into your heart and be honest with yourself.  Then finally be honest with the person who deserves the truth!  Act like a man, or woman, and stop playing games with other peoples' lives and hearts!!

Living the Truth
Living a Lie
Pity Sex: Why in the world do we do this?
When and How to Leave Unhealthy Relationships
Manipulative People: Covert Aggressive Personality Disorder 

The Narcissistic Co-dependent Marriage/Relationship Symptoms



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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

She is crazy...but very smart.

She is crazy, but very smart.  She has spies everywhere because she is very clever and knows how to pull people in with her lies and perception of the truth. She gets them to 'spy for her' and tell her things by being very 'sweet' and manipulating her half truths to get people to feel sorry for her.  Those she pulls in are willing to help her because they either believe her lies or are very nosy and want to know what they 'think' is going on in other peoples' lives.  Gossip is a form of entertainment for them.  Many are phony to people's faces, then talk behind their backs.  These people should be fired, but their bosses don’t know.

She also has a 6th sense, however she doesn’t use it for good or to make better life choices. She uses it to get what she wants.  The knowledge she gains from her spies, along with her just ‘knowing’ at times, is what she uses to manipulate the people in her life. She uses guilt to get her way or makes up lies to gain sympathy from others and then gains control whenever someone tries to pull away from them.

She doesn’t care what she says, how she acts or who she hurts. Their world and perceptions revolve only around themselves and what they want. The people that they are supposed to love, including her own children, get put in the middle and used for leverage. She keeps her man awake at night arguing, not caring if he gets enough sleep, has to get up early or has a long drive to work and back home each day.  Not caring if the fighting and stress effects his job or if he gets in an accident because she didn't let him get enough sleep. She doesn’t care. She thinks it serves him right for her not getting what she wants. She is selfish and self-serving.  She has an excuse for everything. 

People like this, both male and female, must be very insecure and feel threatened, for whatever reason or excuse they come up with.  They take no responsibility for their own choices or actions. They are obviously miserable in their own lives, so they cause trouble in other peoples, with their actions and behaviors.  Most even act as if everything in life is about them.  It shows in their manipulation and constant rudeness toward others.

I know several people like this. At one time I actually tried to be friends with one of them. Mostly because I didn’t want them as an enemy. I saw what they were capable of. I also tried to see the good in everyone and wanted to be friends with all that I met back then.  I now know I don't want to be friends with everyone.  Another part of me thought I needed to become strong enough to ‘handle’ people like this.  That it would make me a better person.

I was wrong!  I saw the malicious things these types of people are capable of... first hand.  The friendships they ruined and the lives they tried to destroy.   People like that are no good to be around... no matter how strong you are or how nice a person you want to be. Their self-centered nature, self-serving motives and negative attitudes... can suck the life right out of you if you let them.

I have a very good friend who is in a similar situation.  Looking from the outside in, I feel they have a person just like this around them.  They are negatively and maliciously affecting their life.  My friend is a really nice person, hard worker, great parent and an all around good person. They put everyone else first in their lives, because that is who they are.  Every human being deserves to be treated with respect at the very least. Along with the honest truth and appreciation.  We all deserve those!

I worry about them because I doubt they take care of themselves.  I know they don't get enough sleep and I’m equally sure they have enormous stress in their life. I pray for their health and safety every day!  I wish for peace and happiness to fill their life very soon.  I also wish I knew they were Ok more often... but I don't want to cause my friend more trouble or stress.  That's the last thing I want to do.

I know it’s none of my business; however I understand what it’s like to live your life doing your best with little or no appreciation.  In addition to having outside influences cause unnecessary trouble and needless stress. I also know what it’s like to be in a relationship where the other person is selfish and self-serving.  Because of my own experiences, I have enormous compassion and understanding. I also feel I have a right to care… as a friend and as a human being in this world.  We all should care how people are treated!  The world would be a better place if we all had a little more humility.

Humility, or being humble, is the quality of being modest, reverential, even politely submissive, and never being arrogant, contemptuous, rude or even self-abasing. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, being connected with notions of transcendent unity and of egolessness.  Which mean having no emotional state of ego or selfishness.

Humility is often rewarded in relationships. It is the way of the world to fill the empty cup. Regardless of your position, humility is a positive and deceptively powerful attribute. True humility is a virtue to which all should aspire.

The happiest people are those who know how to bring each situation into balance by reducing that which is too great in their lives, and by adding to that which is too little. A humble person craves not power, but balanced and stable relationships. Humility is the virtue that allows you to perceive the balancing force; humble people are not prey to the many illusions that grow out of self-importance. If humility is not natural to our disposition, we should make a conscious effort to develop it.
“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

"This is the wish we should all have for each other: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life." ~ Author Unknown

Manipulative People: Covert Aggressive Personality Disorder
Video on Narcissism

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Saturday, July 3, 2010

Waiting to be Saved

There have been many times in my life where I 'waited to be saved'.  For someone to come along and take care of things for me.  From getting out of my marriage, a bad relationship afterwards, previous jobs, my house, the list goes on and on.

I learned a while back that only I can take care of 'my own' situations.  Only I can decide on what I allow into my life and how I am going to deal with those situations or people.  I had to learn to take care of myself and not expect someone else to take care of things for me.

I made a lot of excuses when I stayed in my marriage as long as I did.  Fear, money and even my children.  Who were more well adjusted and happier after the fighting stopped.  I waited for someone to come along; get me out of these situations and basically 'save' me.  Like the Prince coming to save Snow White.

The truth was I was afraid of the unknown.  Would I be able to take care of myself and my children financially?  Would I be able to keep the house?  I even worried if I would find someone better suited for me later?  Worry never solves anything.  Only action can change things!

Those things were, in my own personal situation, after the real fear and constant dramas and fighting.  None the less, that fear of the unknown stops many people from doing what they know in their heart they need to do.  Not only for themselves, but for their children.  I used the excuse many times that I stayed for my children.  Even back then, I knew it was a poor excuse.

I have to admit that back then, and for a long time afterwards, my self-esteem was very low.  My soul was damaged and 'tired' from all the stress and drama as well.  I think in those situations that is why it is hard for many of us to stand up for ourselves.  That is why we hope and pray that someone will come along and take care of our situations for us.  Initially saving us!  Nice wish, unfortunately things don't work out in 'real life' that easily.

I had to first get my confidence back; building my self-esteem back up one step at a time.  Anything faster is just a temporary fluctuation, in my opinion.  It takes time to find out who you really are again.  It takes time to accept your losses, both emotionally and financially in some cases, in order to heal and move on.  That's a perfectly understandable and a normal process. 

I realized that no one else could take care of me, or fix my situations.  I needed to learn to take care of things myself.  I knew deep down I could take care of my children, I needed to also know I could take care of ME!  I found out over the last 6 years that I am stronger, and more capable of taking care of situations and myself than I ever imagined.

The very first and most important change I made was taking responsibility for my own actions.  Accepting the roles I played in those relationships and situations.  Admitting the choices I made and accepting responsibility for my own life.  The second change was finally forgiving myself for my mistakes; learning from them and moving on each time.  I now see the lessons each situation taught me.  To me the 'life lessons' we can learn in each 'life experience', is more valuable than anything we can learn in a text book.

Taking responsibility and control of my own life has made me happier and the most productive in my life.  Not saying that any of us have complete control of our lives.  That would be impossible unfortunately.

There will always be outside influences and people with 'free will' to impact our lives both positively and negatively.  However, we can choose to take control of the situations and events put before us.  Taking responsibility for our own thoughts, responses and actions is what helps us to have happy and productive lives!
"Accepting responsibility for our own lives, is the only way to be saved by our own selves."~ Coreen Trost @VelvetOverSteel.com
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