Life changing true stories told to encourage, empower and inspire us!

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"Fill your mind with light, happiness, hope, feelings of security and strength, and soon your life will reflect these qualities." ~Unknown

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"The Greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance!" ~Brian Tracy

All post and stories are the sole property of Velvet Over Steel aka Coreen Trost. I write and create post in order to help others, so share as you want. I just ask that you link back or give VOS credit. Some of the stories are going into a book in progress. Thank You ALL.. for your support and help!!
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." ~ John Quincy Adams

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Waiting to be Saved

There have been many times in my life where I 'waited to be saved'.  For someone to come along and take care of things for me.  From getting out of my marriage, a bad relationship afterwards, previous jobs, my house, the list goes on and on.

I learned a while back that only I can take care of 'my own' situations.  Only I can decide on what I allow into my life and how I am going to deal with those situations or people.  I had to learn to take care of myself and not expect someone else to take care of things for me.

I made a lot of excuses when I stayed in my marriage as long as I did.  Fear, money and even my children.  Who were more well adjusted and happier after the fighting stopped.  I waited for someone to come along; get me out of these situations and basically 'save' me.  Like the Prince coming to save Snow White.

The truth was I was afraid of the unknown.  Would I be able to take care of myself and my children financially?  Would I be able to keep the house?  I even worried if I would find someone better suited for me later?  Worry never solves anything.  Only action can change things!

Those things were, in my own personal situation, after the real fear and constant dramas and fighting.  None the less, that fear of the unknown stops many people from doing what they know in their heart they need to do.  Not only for themselves, but for their children.  I used the excuse many times that I stayed for my children.  Even back then, I knew it was a poor excuse.

I have to admit that back then, and for a long time afterwards, my self-esteem was very low.  My soul was damaged and 'tired' from all the stress and drama as well.  I think in those situations that is why it is hard for many of us to stand up for ourselves.  That is why we hope and pray that someone will come along and take care of our situations for us.  Initially saving us!  Nice wish, unfortunately things don't work out in 'real life' that easily.

I had to first get my confidence back; building my self-esteem back up one step at a time.  Anything faster is just a temporary fluctuation, in my opinion.  It takes time to find out who you really are again.  It takes time to accept your losses, both emotionally and financially in some cases, in order to heal and move on.  That's a perfectly understandable and a normal process. 

I realized that no one else could take care of me, or fix my situations.  I needed to learn to take care of things myself.  I knew deep down I could take care of my children, I needed to also know I could take care of ME!  I found out over the last 6 years that I am stronger, and more capable of taking care of situations and myself than I ever imagined.

The very first and most important change I made was taking responsibility for my own actions.  Accepting the roles I played in those relationships and situations.  Admitting the choices I made and accepting responsibility for my own life.  The second change was finally forgiving myself for my mistakes; learning from them and moving on each time.  I now see the lessons each situation taught me.  To me the 'life lessons' we can learn in each 'life experience', is more valuable than anything we can learn in a text book.

Taking responsibility and control of my own life has made me happier and the most productive in my life.  Not saying that any of us have complete control of our lives.  That would be impossible unfortunately.

There will always be outside influences and people with 'free will' to impact our lives both positively and negatively.  However, we can choose to take control of the situations and events put before us.  Taking responsibility for our own thoughts, responses and actions is what helps us to have happy and productive lives!
"Accepting responsibility for our own lives, is the only way to be saved by our own selves."~ Coreen Trost
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  1. great post...thanks for being real about what you went through..there have been several times in my life that i have felt similar...i would say there are times i can not save myself and need something greater than i...

  2. Very good point! I personally feel that my faith in God has gotten me through more 'situations' than anything else. God has given me the wisdom and strength in those times not only make it through, but see the lessons too! :-)

  3. A brilliant post, and so very true what you say.we alone are responsible for our actions.
    I went through similar after being widowed, then nine yrs later met someone who I thought would give me a second chance of happiness but he was not what or who I thought, so alone again I did find it hard at first but pleased I walked away.

  4. I wish there was someone to "save" me from the situation I'm in now. I feel like I've tried so hard and yet, nothing is changing.

  5. Coreen, you give me strength to realize how much power I have in Me. Thank you and big hug!

  6. We grow up believing that prince charming is going to come along, change our lives and then we live happily ever after. What they don't teach us is the harshness of life and love. That not all men are prince charming, sometimes they seem like it but really isn't the one that you're looking for. Like more of a Snow White type of guy than a Cinderella.

    I've learned that the only person that can truly change your life... is you.

  7. So true!

    I know I'm a new follower, but I have been so impressed with your posts since I started following that I have left you a bloggy award for "A Blog with Substance" on my blog.

    Check it out at

    Happy 4th of July!

  8. Perfect post for Independence Day.

  9. Amen must learn to save oneself!! First step towards freedom!!
    Happy 4th

  10. For me the biggest thing is reminding myself that I have no control over what other people think. Have you read the book fearless by Max Lucado? Great book from a faith over fear outlook, but deeper than just postive thinking,

  11. Hi, great post, so true. Thanks for becomming latest follower. I have joined you now and look forward to more posts.

  12. Good post and important message. I think it can be especially difficult to forgive ourselves because in hindsight we recognize how much we made our own problems worse. But, ultimately, letting go and moving on is the happiest way to go!


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