There have been many times in my life where I 'waited to be saved'. For someone to come along and take care of things for me. From getting out of my marriage, a bad relationship afterwards, previous jobs, my house, the list goes on and on.
I learned a while back that only I can take care of 'my own' situations. Only I can decide on what I allow into my life and how I am going to deal with those situations or people. I had to learn to take care of myself and not expect someone else to take care of things for me.
I made a lot of excuses when I stayed in my marriage as long as I did. Fear, money and even my children. Who were more well adjusted and happier after the fighting stopped. I waited for someone to come along; get me out of these situations and basically 'save' me. Like the Prince coming to save Snow White.
The truth was I was afraid of the unknown. Would I be able to take care of myself and my children financially? Would I be able to keep the house? I even worried if I would find someone better suited for me later? Worry never solves anything. Only action can change things!
Those things were, in my own personal situation, after the real fear and constant dramas and fighting. None the less, that fear of the unknown stops many people from doing what they know in their heart they need to do. Not only for themselves, but for their children. I used the excuse many times that I stayed for my children. Even back then, I knew it was a poor excuse.
I have to admit that back then, and for a long time afterwards, my self-esteem was very low. My soul was damaged and 'tired' from all the stress and drama as well. I think in those situations that is why it is hard for many of us to stand up for ourselves. That is why we hope and pray that someone will come along and take care of our situations for us. Initially saving us! Nice wish, unfortunately things don't work out in 'real life' that easily.
I had to first get my confidence back; building my self-esteem back up one step at a time. Anything faster is just a temporary fluctuation, in my opinion. It takes time to find out who you really are again. It takes time to accept your losses, both emotionally and financially in some cases, in order to heal and move on. That's a perfectly understandable and a normal process.
I realized that no one else could take care of me, or fix my situations. I needed to learn to take care of things myself. I knew deep down I could take care of my children, I needed to also know I could take care of ME! I found out over the last 6 years that I am stronger, and more capable of taking care of situations and myself than I ever imagined.
The very first and most important change I made was taking responsibility for my own actions. Accepting the roles I played in those relationships and situations. Admitting the choices I made and accepting responsibility for my own life. The second change was finally forgiving myself for my mistakes; learning from them and moving on each time. I now see the lessons each situation taught me. To me the 'life lessons' we can learn in each 'life experience', is more valuable than anything we can learn in a text book.
Taking responsibility and control of my own life has made me happier and the most productive in my life. Not saying that any of us have complete control of our lives. That would be impossible unfortunately.
There will always be outside influences and people with 'free will' to impact our lives both positively and negatively. However, we can choose to take control of the situations and events put before us. Taking responsibility for our own thoughts, responses and actions is what helps us to have happy and productive lives!
"Accepting responsibility for our own lives, is the only way to be saved by our own selves."~ Coreen Trost @VelvetOverSteel.com
