Gossip and Rumors..

http://www.victorious.org/gossip.htm

We rarely discover how--or even why--a rumor gets started. Sometimes rumors are spread intentionally, sometimes by mistake.  Maybe a someone sees a new car at a neighbors house and assumes they have a new friend.  Or someone reads a blog and assumes they know what's going on in someones life.  Bits of conversation, reads and sightings, all taken out of context. Is it a rumor or more juicy gossip to be spread? Usually it's because someone noisy has assumed things.  Their information isn't reliable enough to even repeat, let alone spread.  Gossips spread rumors anyway, only to hurt people in the end.  How sad!

Sometimes rumors are completely ridiculous, like the ones going around about me right now.  And sometimes they are more believable than the truth to people who have no idea what's it's like to be happy with oneself and ones own life.  They may be innocent, they may be hurtful, but they usually have expected and unexpected consequences.

Many of you have noticed that I've become distant. Have I ever mention that I don't like it here... no I don't really.  I try to stay positive and made the best of it until my son is done with school.  However, it's not my home state and I feel that I will never fit in.  Which has been perfectly fine with me since about the first month, so I've been counting the days until I can move again ever since.  The people here don't really know or understand me.  I tried to make 'real' friends here and I have regretted it every time.   Very bad experiences with people assuming things and even intentionally trying to cause trouble in my life.  Spreading lies, because they assumed things or worst, because they just wanted to cause trouble.  People who didn't even know me!! 

Although I started writing last year, I am still a very private person, because of what I've gone through in the last 6 years.  Yes, I write about finding true love and special friends in my life.  But no one but my sons and I, have any idea who the people I write about truly are.  I thought that was best.  Now I realize that gossip and evil people will assume, even make things up, if you don't tell them what's going on (or not going on) in your life.  

Seriously, these people need lives of their own.  Or at least Happy ones, because I don't think any of them can possibly be happy if they spread gossip and lies.  I've said it before... but I really Hate gossip!  This is why I keep to myself.  This is also ONE of the reasons I'm moving to another state as soon as my youngest son graduates in July and I can sell my house.  I've been planning this for 2 years.  Although I didn't think it's anyone else's business who are what I write about on my blog or what my plans are.  Which by the way, it's just a blog people!  It's my creative writing, my therapy, my voice and my business!  All of which I have a right to in this country and in this way too short a life. 

I just told you all something personal, because I am finally not afraid of anyone ruining my future.   My true friends, know that I am a good person who would Never ever hurt anyone intentionally.  That I started my blog and writing because I truly wanted to help people.  I know I have helped many, by all the private and personal emails I've received over the last year.   However maybe it's time to think of myself and put my writing on hold until I get out of this God forsaken state.  I don't know for sure at this moment in time; however I do know that it has been an incredibly painful and hurtful past week for me, that I did not deserve.  Phone calls have been made and my reputation has been trashed from nothing but lies and assumptins; even though I've never 'crossed' a line or done anything even inappropriate... let alone wrong.  I'm a good mother, good friend and mostly.. I'm a good person!!

What’s Wrong With Gossip?  By Dr. Dale A. Robbins
All scripture is quoted from the New International Version.

Rejecting 'Evil' people from our lives!

"Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance." - C.S. Lewis

Anyone who truly knows me knows that I am a ‘people person’ and happiest when I am around other people. Before I moved to Iowa, I felt I made friends easily, where ever I lived or worked. Willing to be friends with almost anyone I met. In fact I truly believed that I could get along with everyone if I tried. I was extremely naïve and way too trusting when I moved from my hometown to someone else’s.

I would say that 99.9% of the people I have met in the last five years are really good people. In fact most people have been extremely nice to both my son and I. That, along with the excellent education for my son, has made us very happy and grateful for most of our experiences here. However for the first time of my life I actually met some truly evil people too. Five years ago I was totally unprepared for the hell I was about to experience. 

At first I tried to see good in them, like I strive to do with everyone I meet. Then I thought maybe I was too sensitive and passive, letting their aggressive, manipulative personalities affect me. I even told myself that I needed to learn to ‘handle’ these pushy, controlling, and negative people in order to better my own people skills. But I didn’t need to deal with any of it. I just needed to walk away, and quickly! What do they say, ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’… I totally disagree with that statement!

There was a time not too long ago, when I couldn’t wait to be in social situations. Enjoying every conversation and interaction I felt fortunate enough to be involved in. I seldom worried about saying the wrong thing or having something I said taken out of context for a negative, hurtful purpose. It had never occurred to me that there were people who would twist a conversation around, change emails and lie, to intentionally damage someone’s life.

All from telling lies, spreading viscous gossip, and manipulating situations to suite themselves. The power of the ‘word’ for good and evil is so evident to me after experiencing ‘evil’ individuals first hand.

We all know that God brings good people into our lives! However the devil also brings people into our lives that are ‘evil’. These bitter, selfish souls never see anything wrong with their attitude and justify their horrible actions. That mind set is the most troubling to me and why I don’t want anything to do with them. I have learned to avoid, even reject these ‘evil’ people no matter how much they try to manipulative me into feeling guilty.  Valuable life skills for me to learn.

I have come a long way from the passive, peace keeper of 5 years ago. I think that’s a good thing!
2 great articles on this subject is:
How to Spot Emotional Vampires


Manipulative People: Covert Aggressive Personality Disorder