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"Fill your mind with light, happiness, hope, feelings of security and strength, and soon your life will reflect these qualities." ~Unknown

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"The Greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance!" ~Brian Tracy

All post and stories are the sole property of Velvet Over Steel aka Coreen Trost. I write and create post in order to help others, so share as you want. I just ask that you link back or give VOS credit. Some of the stories are going into a book in progress. Thank You ALL.. for your support and help!!
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." ~ John Quincy Adams

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Gossip and Rumors..
We rarely discover how--or even why--a rumor gets started. Sometimes rumors are spread intentionally, sometimes by mistake.  Maybe a someone sees a new car at a neighbors house and assumes they have a new friend.  Or someone reads a blog and assumes they know what's going on in someones life.  Bits of conversation, reads and sightings, all taken out of context. Is it a rumor or more juicy gossip to be spread? Usually it's because someone noisy has assumed things.  Their information isn't reliable enough to even repeat, let alone spread.  Gossips spread rumors anyway, only to hurt people in the end.  How sad!

Sometimes rumors are completely ridiculous, like the ones going around about me right now.  And sometimes they are more believable than the truth to people who have no idea what's it's like to be happy with oneself and ones own life.  They may be innocent, they may be hurtful, but they usually have expected and unexpected consequences.

Many of you have noticed that I've become distant. Have I ever mention that I don't like it here... no I don't really.  I try to stay positive and made the best of it until my son is done with school.  However, it's not my home state and I feel that I will never fit in.  Which has been perfectly fine with me since about the first month, so I've been counting the days until I can move again ever since.  The people here don't really know or understand me.  I tried to make 'real' friends here and I have regretted it every time.   Very bad experiences with people assuming things and even intentionally trying to cause trouble in my life.  Spreading lies, because they assumed things or worst, because they just wanted to cause trouble.  People who didn't even know me!! 

Although I started writing last year, I am still a very private person, because of what I've gone through in the last 6 years.  Yes, I write about finding true love and special friends in my life.  But no one but my sons and I, have any idea who the people I write about truly are.  I thought that was best.  Now I realize that gossip and evil people will assume, even make things up, if you don't tell them what's going on (or not going on) in your life.  

Seriously, these people need lives of their own.  Or at least Happy ones, because I don't think any of them can possibly be happy if they spread gossip and lies.  I've said it before... but I really Hate gossip!  This is why I keep to myself.  This is also ONE of the reasons I'm moving to another state as soon as my youngest son graduates in July and I can sell my house.  I've been planning this for 2 years.  Although I didn't think it's anyone else's business who are what I write about on my blog or what my plans are.  Which by the way, it's just a blog people!  It's my creative writing, my therapy, my voice and my business!  All of which I have a right to in this country and in this way too short a life. 

I just told you all something personal, because I am finally not afraid of anyone ruining my future.   My true friends, know that I am a good person who would Never ever hurt anyone intentionally.  That I started my blog and writing because I truly wanted to help people.  I know I have helped many, by all the private and personal emails I've received over the last year.   However maybe it's time to think of myself and put my writing on hold until I get out of this God forsaken state.  I don't know for sure at this moment in time; however I do know that it has been an incredibly painful and hurtful past week for me, that I did not deserve.  Phone calls have been made and my reputation has been trashed from nothing but lies and assumptins; even though I've never 'crossed' a line or done anything even inappropriate... let alone wrong.  I'm a good mother, good friend and mostly.. I'm a good person!!

What’s Wrong With Gossip?  By Dr. Dale A. Robbins
All scripture is quoted from the New International Version.


  1. Coreen, You are an unbelievable friend and a even more wonderful person, anyone who starts all these rumors, seriously does not know you at all!!!!! and they evidently have very sad lives and low self esteem, and have nothing better to do with there time.

    I love you dearly and want to thank you so much for being such a true and dear friend, and hopefully one day we can both find true happiness.

    Just ignore the rumors and gossip, because that is really all they are, just that, and I think I know you well enough to know that you have grown more in this past year than anyone I know, and you don't need these people in your life.

    I love you,
    Your dear friend

  2. Rumor's and gossip - they can do so much damage. I dare say we have all fill victim to rumor's and gossip. They hurt. I've met people over the years who are the Kings of gossip and rumor and think nothing of the feelings they are hurting. Good post.

  3. Coreen,

    I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult period. Just remember that your true friends are still here for you. We love you always no matter where you are or what you are doing. We support what you do and the choices that you make. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You know you are a good person and your true friends know it too!

    And I hope when you say you're moving to another state, it's closer to home because we miss you!



  4. My blood boils Coreen when I hear things like this. Especially to someone like YOU!!~ Jealousy is what it boils down to, and that my friend can be very vicious. Coreen I would not let someone take that joy from you, and stop your writings...why should they? You prove to them you are strong, and you are who you are...and feel sorry for them..SHAME on them for assuming and is so very hurtful. Feel confident in your being, and keep on keeping!~ XO

  5. Okay - I love yah - and I'm not sure what you're talking about exactly - I feel a little out of the loop.

    You don't like Iowa and some people have hurt you? There or are the blog?

    I am so very very sorry someone as nice as you got so hurt.

    Is there anything I can do?


    Does that mean you are not going to write anymore?

  6. I understand how you feel. I wrote a post and a family member assumed I was writing about her.. She got so angry that the next thing I know - she is sending angry emails and texts.. it was awful... She never did bother to pick up the phone which really annoys me.. I hate assumptions as much as I hate gossip.
    I hope things get better soon!
    I've Become My Mother
    Kelly's Ideas
    Amazing Salvation

  7. Oh, Coreen, I am so sorry!!! I have not heard any of this gossip, nor do I want to. The bible has very harsh things to say about it, and if these people are Christians, they should look up those references, then ask forgiveness. I'm thinking that this is not blog rumore, but real people in your area doing this? Do not let them stop you from doing what you love and have been led to do! Did Paul give up? No, nor did any of the other men and women of God in the bible, and they had rumors and also much worse things to face! If you stop, then they have won, and they should not be justified. Also if you quit, they will think it is because they were right and take it as a sign of guilt. Don't do anything right now until you have prayed about this and turned it over to God, ask him how to handle it all and for discernment. Now, having said all that, of course do what you feel you need to and I will certainly support you no matter what. Remember this, the more Godly people were and are, the more they are gossiped about!

  8. Wow, I'm sorry for the stuff that's been happening in your life. We don't know each other, and I've only been following you for a very short while, but I hope everything turns out okay for you. Gossip is such a bad thing, and I can only imagine what you're going through. Hang in there.

  9. This is awful!! Small people with even smaller minds spread rumors and gossip!! Evil and stupid people! With no lives of their own. They have way too much time on their hands...way toooooo much!!!
    Sorry you are having to deal with these creatures. I steer clear of most people. They can cause so much trouble. I stay to myself most of the time. Easier that way!!
    Good luck

  10. I'm SO sorry. Coreen, you just bloom where you are planted. Don't pine away for where you used to live. You are right where you are for a reason. Let those rumors and gossips just roll off of your back. You know that truth and that really is all that matters! And I'm here to deliver that big hug you need! XOXO :)

  11. Wow, you have some really supportive comments here. That is great.

    Yes, lies and gossip hurt incredibly deep. It is certainly the dark side of humanity that is drawn to them. But if we keep living right and doing right, we will be exonerated at the end. God promises that! So don't let the lies and gossip wear you down! God bless.


  12. Sometimes words can cut us so deeply. You know in your heart what is true and what is right. Sounds like you have a wonderful plan ahead of you ~ stay strong Coreen ~ !!
    xo Catherine

  13. i am disturbed after reading your post.... i don't know how to protect you from the bitches (excuse my language please) around except offer my prayers that this period shall pass soon !!! the sick termites of society somehow have the capability to disturb lives of people who prefer to stay with themselves... if i would have been in person there i would have taken care of them ... don't be so simple and naive..the world will chew you... hope you will stand up for yourself the way you do for your kids...GOD BLESS YOU!!

  14. Coreen,
    I am so sorry to hear that you've been going through a rough time, especially when it's because of something so silly as gossip and rumor spreading. It's never easy to understand why someone would want to put such hurt and anxiety on another, but some people (unfortunately) just thrive on this.

    The best advice I can give you is to look past the words and don't waste your precious thoughts or energy on this situation - I know, easier said that done...but if you can just move past it, your life will be much better without all of that negativity.

    Keep Smiling!

  15. Well said, Coreen. Don't quit writing. Phone calls? That's the part I don't know yet. Call the cops and charge harassment.

  16. Dear Coreen, I am so sorry that you have had such troubles to deal with. Gossip will always be around and to some degree it is a natural form of human interaction. But - when it crosses a certain line, affecting lives of people negatively and making them feel anxious and apprehensive, then it becomes almost a criminal act.
    I am hoping you can find the support in your loved ones to deal with it - I sure would miss you if you stopped blogging.

  17. I know exactly how it feels. The reason why I stayed away from blogging for a few months because I've gone through the same situation. People tend to judge so easily by what they saw on our blogs even when they don't know that we are reserving something for our own. I was deeply hurt that time. How can they do that! Malicious people like that should be out of our way and definitely out of our life.

  18. Coreen I am so very sorry for what has happened to you. ((((Coreen) Judging comes too easy for people. I know I am guilty of this.

  19. But he (Jesus) said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

  20. I love coming to your blog and reading your posts. You always offer such insightful information that is useful to so many people. It's too bad that jealous people are trying to hamper your spirit. I know that you love life and you love your sons and I know that you are a good person but there's jealous women out there who can't stand to see someone happy. Their jealousy will drive them to make up hateful things or twist things around and spread it.

    I hope the time goes by quickly for you so that you can get out of that situation.

  21. Oh dear girl!! This inspired me to "make it personal" on my blog, one of these days. You surely make a great point! Come and move to California :D



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