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All post and stories are the sole property of Velvet Over Steel aka Coreen Trost. I write and create post in order to help others, so share as you want. I just ask that you link back or give VOS credit. Some of the stories are going into a book in progress. Thank You ALL.. for your support and help!!
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." ~ John Quincy Adams

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Betrayal can have many forms.

What is betrayal?  It's the breaking or violation of a presumptive trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals.

In relationships many people, men especially, think that if you don't 'cross that line' and sleep with someone other than the one you share your bed with at night, that you are being a faithful and even loyal partner.  That's not always true though.

When you get into bed with someone you don't love, you are not only betraying yourself, but you're cruelly betraying that other person.  Even if there is no one else in your heart or on your mind.  It's still betrayal; even if you live with or are even married to that person.  It's a cruel, sick and twisted game to play with anyone.

In the case where there is someone else on your heart, thoughts or in your dream, I feel that you are also betraying that person as well.   Even if they don't know how you feel for sure and you never 'crossed that line' with them.  If they do know, and believe me... they usually know, you are hurting them deeply as well.  Again, a cruel, sick and twisted game played not only with the 'truth' but with someone else's heart and life.

Every woman I know, and most men, would rather be hurt with the Truth, than to be either lied to, given half truths or excuses for their behavior.  It makes people feel rejected and used; even if you're married.  No one, male or female, wants to feel either of those.   It's heart breaking and humiliating!'

Each and every day that you live a lie with someone, you are betraying them.  Hurting and humiliating them beyond comprehension.  No one deserves that.  Whether you admit to 'falling out of love' or lie and say you loved them in the first place... at least on a subconscious level, the other person knows.   They know when you are not emotionally connected to them.  They can feel it, see it in your eyes or tell it by your actions.

This is when many times the unconsciously rejected partner becomes insecure, suspicious and assumes many things.  On a certain level, they are right... even if their partner or spouse never crossed that 'physical line' with someone else.  A person's intuition usually knows when they have, even if it's just in their mind or heart.

I've observed far to many friends hurt by this cruel, sick and twisted game.  Whether it's girlfriends or guy friends... the hurt, humiliation and damage is usually the same.  So for those who 'play this game'... look in the mirror; go into your heart and be honest with yourself.  Then finally be honest with the person who deserves the truth!  Act like a man, or woman, and stop playing games with other peoples' lives and hearts!!

Living the Truth
Living a Lie
Pity Sex: Why in the world do we do this?
When and How to Leave Unhealthy Relationships
Manipulative People: Covert Aggressive Personality Disorder 

The Narcissistic Co-dependent Marriage/Relationship Symptoms

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  1. Interesting to read, betrayal is not a nice practice thanks for sharing this,


  2. What a very insightful post and it feels that you speak from experience. I know exactly how it feels to be betrayed this way as I have been there so many times. And each time my intuition indeed told me before I had the profs or facts. Being hurt this way is terrible as it forms us to mistrust before we trust, something I am having to deal with and am fighting today.

  3. Intuition is usually right in these situations or any bad situation, I always go with it when I feel something is not right.
    A very good post to share.
    Hugs, Lynne x

  4. I could barely read this, as it speaks to a recent passage in my life. I realize now so many people go through this...


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