In your lifetime you will find...

In your lifetime you will find...

The most precious possession that ever comes to a person in this world is a another's heart.  There are many who may say they love you... but only a few people are truly capable of unconditional love and fewer still can show it.  These are the ones  that God has places in our life's path that are who we should have in our life to feel fulfilled and happy.  Those that help us be the best we can be and are good for us..  It's up to us to realize who they are.... before they've moved on and you realize later in life... who they were.

Follow your heart and not your guilt or fear.  The path that leads to true love and happiness.  That is the path that God wants for all of us... his children.

Don't tell too much, too soon!

Many times over the past several years while dating, I have many times talked too much about my past dates and relationships, even to people I barely knew. I had convinced myself that I needed to be completely open and honest, with everyone, in order to find someone else that was honest. I realized later that too much information, too soon, is a Hugh mistake for many reasons.

For one, it scares the heck out of most men!  And two, the past is just that the past.  No one is perfect and we have all made mistakes.  What is going on in our lives right now, along with who we are at the present time, is what and should be all that matters.

Most of our past experiences happened for a reason.  In my case, it has made me the complete person I am today.  I now appreciate all that has happened and look for the lesson in each experience.  I could not have grown, learned or matured without those experiences.  I truly like the person I am today.

I also realize now that when the right person comes along for us, no amount of past or road blocks are going to keep you from them.  If two souls are meant to be together, they will be.  However, no matter how hard we try to rush things, it will happen in God's timing and not always in ours.  So be patient and believe that the right person, at the right time, will come into your life and they will!
 

Love Manual.....please

I've been waiting for the right man to come along for quite a while now. I've grown and figured out who I am. I've rejected the wrong men and learned what the good ones should be like. I've put myself out there trying to find true love and been hurt and even embarrassed a few times. 

However this time, I feel totally different. A calm inside of me from being absolutely certain that he is the 'One' capable of loving me and appreciative of genuine love in return. The one whose own heart, soul, character, and ability to love is a perfect match to my own.

I agree with the understanding that taking your time will season a relationship and make it even better later on. But after a while you start to think 'Life is too Short" to wait too long. So when is the right time and who should make the first move?  An even harder question is who should say the 'love' word first? 

I understand that everyone has other things in their life that occupy their time. Jobs, kids, homes, and other responsibilities and stresses. But you don't want the right one to slip away because they didn't think you were interested. Or to run away if you scare them by being too forward too soon.

I've never had a problem in the last 5 years, just walking away from men, because I knew they weren't the one. But what do you do when you think they are? How much time do you give things to work out?

Can someone please give me a love manual to follow, so I don't make any mistakes?  A love manual for the great relationship I am so longing for and finally believe I deserve....please!

Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons

I recently read the book "Falling in Love for All Right Reasons" by Neil Clark Warren. He is the co-founder of eHarmony. He goes through the 29 dimensions of relationship compatibility. The main characterizes are in regards to values, character, mindset, temperament, and attitudes toward parenting.

Nowhere in the 29 dimensions does he mention either age or location. Yet most people pick someone to be in a relationship with based on one or both of those 2 things. Location especially seems to be a top priority for many people, just because it’s easier and more convenient.

I have always thought that after high school or 21, that age is just a number. So it was extremely interesting that age was also not one of the 29 dimensions.

The men I've dated have been a variety of ages. With none of them has age ever been a determination of their maturity, respect for others, values or morals.. In fact in my experience, age has nothing to do the character of a person or their compatibility to anyone.

The book is very good and I would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to understand relationships and why some couples last and why some end up being polar opposites and get divorced.  Which is ok in my oppion, becasue I beleive people have a right to be happy.

So find the right person for you, fall in love for all the right reasons and above all "Be Happy"!
"Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons" by Neil Clark Warren.

Finding that 'ONE' right man.

After my divorce several years ago, I started meeting new friends and going out.  I quickly rememembered why I didn’t date much in high school.  Because dating can be uncomfortible and even scary at times. 

In the last 5 years I have dated quite a bit. Most have only been 1st dates, where I knew right away they were not the ‘ONE’ I was looking for. So I didn’t accept another date. Others I thought could be, so I went on a few more dates. I then either realized I didn’t feel what I should. Or I saw red flags, and RAN!

At times I’ve been told that I don’t give even the nice guys a chance. So I've gone on some second dates, just to make sure they were not the ‘One’. But that has never changed my initial intuition or gut feeling.  It has only confused and hurt some good men. Which is never my intention and I always feel bad when that happens.

I dated one man who was very nice, but who lived 2 hours away.  At that time in my life, I didn’t have the strength or energy for a long distance relationship. Another man I dated a few times seemed very nice at first.  I quickly realized that he was controlling and manipultive.  He just didn't want to be alone and wanted someone to take care of him.  Actually, I've met more than a few men like that the last 5 years.

Several other men I briefly went out with were very angry and bitter toward their ex-wives or girlfriends. I don’t want someone who is angry or bitter.  Life is too short for that.  So I knew right away that none of them were the 'one' for me either.

Then of course there were the smooth, sweet talking men who were only after one thing. These men were all very self-centered with little or no real respect for women. They go from one pretty flower to the next with no intention of building a lasting relationship. These types of men get angry when a woman wants to wait until she is sure where the relationship is going.  Men like this are never the 'one' for any women.  This is why all women should have ‘rules’ or standards if you will.  Having standards gets rid of men like this very quickly.

I believe there should be more depth and meaning in a relationship than just self gratification and living in the moment. ~ “If you’re not worth the wait, it’s a sure sign they are NOT the ‘ONE’!” ~Me

Another complaint I've heard is that I’m too picky.  I disagree with that perspective too.  It's not that I'm too critical.  It's that I know exactly what qualities I’m looking for in a man.  There is a difference!  In the past I have lacked self-esteem and almost settled for less than what I deserve.  So a few years ago I raised the bar.  Since then some men have argued that my ‘bar’ is set too darn high! My response to that is ‘it’s about time’!

I’m an extremely passionate person, with emotions that run very deep.  That is who I am!  I want to be with someone who appreciates those characteristics and truely understands me! Someone with similar beliefs, family values and a positive attitude!  A man with the same heart and soul as myself, if at all possible.  I’m waiting for that ‘ONE’!

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." ~Sam Keen