Making Mistakes... and learning from them.

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"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." ~Elbert Hubbard, The Note Book, 1927

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"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." ~John Powell

Several years ago I realized that I seemed to keep making the same mistakes in my life over and over.  So I decided to first understand why I made the choices I did, then admitting my mistakes in order to heal and grow.

Then I started getting advice from people I admired, trust and looked to; because I didn't want to make more mistakes; especially in my personal relationships.

Most of the advice and insight was very good for me because it focused on the truth about both myself and the people around me.  Helping me to become strong enough to reject negative influences and to set higher standards for the people I now allow in my life.

The downside to having insight is that knowledge changes things... both positive and negatively.  What I mean is that somethings we shouldn't know because it changes our actions, reactions and the direction we take in our lives.  Knowledge effects our choices both good and bad.

I've recently learned that even with insight, understanding and knowledge; that I still make mistakes.  We all do.  However it's how we accept our mistakes; learn from them and become a better person from being honest with ourselves... that matters most in our journey through life.   

"A man should never be ashamed to own when he has been in the wrong, which is but saying ... that he is wiser today than he was yesterday." ~Alexander Pope, in Swift, Miscellanies

Just Honesty...

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"Just be Honest with Yourself.  That Opens the Door." ~Vernon Howard

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"Honesty is an active verb, not a passive noun. Go out of your way to be truthful, beginning with the things that you say to yourself." ~Joe Tye, America’s Values Coach  

“Walking your talk is a great way to motivate yourself. No one likes to live a lie. Be honest with yourself, and you will find the motivation to do what you advise others to do." ~Vince Poscente (Olympian, Speaker and Author)  

"Being vulnerable doesn't have to be threatening. Just have the courage to be sincere, open and honest. This opens the door to deeper communication all around. It creates self-empowerment and the kind of connections with others we all want in life. Speaking from the heart frees us from the secrets that burden us. These secrets are what make us sick or fearful. Speaking truth helps you get clarity on your real heart directives." ~Sara Paddison, The Hidden Power of the Heart 

Be True to Your Heart... and Follow It

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"Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.” ~ author unknown

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A few years ago I finally started listening to my heart.  There is wisdom in each of our hearts and the importance of listening to one's heart and accepting the answers is vital to being happy.

Do you wonder about the depth of your heart? Do you let your heart lead the way, or do you usually let your head make the decisions for you? Have you encountered situations whereby your mind told you one thing but your heart said otherwise?

Do you feel happier when you follow your heart? Do you let your heart take you down a path where your mind would be against?

If you are one who wants to follow your heart but are fearful of the risks you'll be taking, I hope this poem and series of heart quotes will shed some light on the wisdom of your heart...  courtesy of thinkexist.com

Be True to Your Heart

And Your Dreams Will Come True

Stay true to all your beliefs and goals.

Stand tall.

Through all life's setbacks and disappointments,

your dreams will come true.

When no one else is with you,

and no one seems to care,

just whisper to yourself,

"I am the controller of my destiny.

It's up to me what comes to pass,

and if I keep my thoughts positive and strong,

my dreams will come true."

When what seem to be impossible obstacles

stand in your way, just think of all the times

you got through yesterday.

There is a place for you in this world.

Stay on your chosen path.

All the power is within you;

be true to what is in your heart.

Be honest within yourself;

if you are, then you cannot fail.

Your dreams will come true.

~ Debra Ruegg-Jenkins ~

"Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart." ~ Mevlana Rumi

"Find the seed at the bottom of your heart and bring forth a flower."~ Shigenori Kameoka

"He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it." ~ James Allen

"Only do what your heart tells you." ~ Princess Diana

"Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely." ~ Author Unknown

"My mind tells me to give up, but my heart won't let me."~ Author Unknown

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream." ~ Paulo Coelho

"The heart has reasons that reason does not understand." ~ Jacques Benigne Bossuel

"The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the mind cannot understand." ~ Robert Valett

"There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those." ~ Michael Nolan

"Wherever you go, go with all your heart." ~ Confucius

Forever Connected ... By: Silke Wettergren

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Forever Connected © Silke Wettergren

Every moment we spent together
Has touched our lives, our souls forever
The things that we shared and learned
Is permanent growth that we've earned.

The person that I have grown into today
Did not get there by chance, no way
I am who I am partly because of you
And you are YOU because of me, too.

The changes I see
and what I have learned about me
are a response to how we affected our lives
and what we discover in each others eyes.

It is uncertain if we have to part or one day live together
Either way, we have touched our lives forever!
No matter what the future will show
No matter what we are told.

We are connected on such a deep levels
That no one can remove that, not even the devil.
Our feelings might be different a year from now
But you are part of me forever somehow.

A part of me will always be you
and a part of you will always be me.
no matter what happens, that much is certain
our souls are one until life closes the curtain.

I will love your forever
For worse or for better.

You are tattooed in my heart
And nothing can tear our souls apart.

I will never forget you
For my love is honest and true.

© Silke Wettergren ~ Poem Source: Forever Connected, True Love Poems

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some people move our souls to dance.  They awaken us to new understandings with the passing whisper of their wisdom.  Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.  They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints in our heart, and we are never ever the same." ~ Chicken Soup for the Soul

Honest Communication from the Heart

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 "People have important things to communicate. Speaking from your heart allows the emotionally difficult, the ordinary, and the wonderful things in our lives to be communicated and received." ~ David McArthur and Bruce McArthur, from the book "The Intelligent Heart"

In the book and presentation '8 to Great', motivational speaker for positive change MK Mueller writes this to describe High-Way 5: Honest Communication.

"Once we get in touch with our emotions through High-Way 4, we’re ready to practice communicating them honestly with others in a self-responsible way. The practice of non-defensive listening and assertively asking for what we want will empower us and deepen our connection to those around us. When we risk taking responsibility rather than blaming others for them, we combine the first four High-Ways into an “inner-state” of loving joy." ~ MK Mueller

"The genius of communication is the ability to be both totally honest and totally kind at the same time." ~ John Powell

Sara Paddison, author of the book "The Hidden Power of the Heart" writes:

"Being vulnerable doesn't have to be threatening. Just have the courage to be sincere, open and honest. This opens the door to deeper communication all around. It creates self-empowerment and the kind of connections with others we all want in life. Speaking from the heart frees us from the secrets that burden us. These secrets are what make us sick or fearful. Speaking truth helps you get clarity on your real heart directives."

"We take communication for granted because we do it so frequently, but it's actually a complex process." ~ Joseph Sommerville, PhD

Doc Childre, Bruce Cryer and Howard Martin from HeartMath LLC and authors of "The HeartMath Solution" write:

"In communications that are difficult or draining, ease into the heart and find something to appreciate about the person you're dealing with, or find a feeling of compassion or kindness. This will clear your mind and give you the coherence you need to know what to say next. That's energy efficiency at work."

"Be on the lookout for strain in each other, and with compassion and understanding, lend a helping hand and a mature heart. Helping each other manage emotional strain can yield creative alternatives and build a new foundation for heart-based communication and hope." ~ Doc Childre

In the book "From Chaos to Coherence" ~ by Bruce Cryer and Doc Childre; Coherent communication is based on four key principles:

1. Achieve understanding first
2. Listen nonjudgmentally
3. Listen for the essence
4. Be authentic

"Communication sometimes is not what you first hear, listen not just to the words, but listen for the reason." ~ Catherine Pulsifer

"It is no longer enough to be smart — all the technological tools in the world add meaning and value only if they enhance our core values, the deepest part of our heart. Acquiring knowledge is no guarantee of practical, useful application. Wisdom implies a mature integration of appropriate knowledge, a seasoned ability to filter the inessential from the essential." ~ Doc Childre and Bruce Cryer, From Chaos to Coherence

"Intuition does not always appear as the ingenious breakthrough or something grandiose. Intuitive thoughts, feelings, and solutions often manifest themselves as good old common sense. Common sense is efficient." ~ Doc Childre and Bruce Cryer, From Chaos to Coherence

"Words are just words and without heart they have no meaning." ~ Chinese proverb

All of these are important to consider and think about next time you have a serious or heartfelt conversation with someone.  Whether it be a personal communication with a family member or friend.  Or a business related conversation with a boss or co-worker.  

I personally strive to use all 4 of the Key principles in my communications; both in person and in my writing.  It truly makes a difference if you communicate only with your head or if you communicate through your Heart! 

When you're looking for honest communication, think about where your conversation is coming from.  If your words are coming from your heart, the person you're talking to just may start communicating from their heart back.  What's more honest  and authentic... than two hearts communicating?