Honest Communication from the Heart

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 "People have important things to communicate. Speaking from your heart allows the emotionally difficult, the ordinary, and the wonderful things in our lives to be communicated and received." ~ David McArthur and Bruce McArthur, from the book "The Intelligent Heart"

In the book and presentation '8 to Great', motivational speaker for positive change MK Mueller writes this to describe High-Way 5: Honest Communication.

"Once we get in touch with our emotions through High-Way 4, we’re ready to practice communicating them honestly with others in a self-responsible way. The practice of non-defensive listening and assertively asking for what we want will empower us and deepen our connection to those around us. When we risk taking responsibility rather than blaming others for them, we combine the first four High-Ways into an “inner-state” of loving joy." ~ MK Mueller

"The genius of communication is the ability to be both totally honest and totally kind at the same time." ~ John Powell

Sara Paddison, author of the book "The Hidden Power of the Heart" writes:

"Being vulnerable doesn't have to be threatening. Just have the courage to be sincere, open and honest. This opens the door to deeper communication all around. It creates self-empowerment and the kind of connections with others we all want in life. Speaking from the heart frees us from the secrets that burden us. These secrets are what make us sick or fearful. Speaking truth helps you get clarity on your real heart directives."

"We take communication for granted because we do it so frequently, but it's actually a complex process." ~ Joseph Sommerville, PhD

Doc Childre, Bruce Cryer and Howard Martin from HeartMath LLC and authors of "The HeartMath Solution" write:

"In communications that are difficult or draining, ease into the heart and find something to appreciate about the person you're dealing with, or find a feeling of compassion or kindness. This will clear your mind and give you the coherence you need to know what to say next. That's energy efficiency at work."

"Be on the lookout for strain in each other, and with compassion and understanding, lend a helping hand and a mature heart. Helping each other manage emotional strain can yield creative alternatives and build a new foundation for heart-based communication and hope." ~ Doc Childre

In the book "From Chaos to Coherence" ~ by Bruce Cryer and Doc Childre; Coherent communication is based on four key principles:

1. Achieve understanding first
2. Listen nonjudgmentally
3. Listen for the essence
4. Be authentic

"Communication sometimes is not what you first hear, listen not just to the words, but listen for the reason." ~ Catherine Pulsifer

"It is no longer enough to be smart — all the technological tools in the world add meaning and value only if they enhance our core values, the deepest part of our heart. Acquiring knowledge is no guarantee of practical, useful application. Wisdom implies a mature integration of appropriate knowledge, a seasoned ability to filter the inessential from the essential." ~ Doc Childre and Bruce Cryer, From Chaos to Coherence

"Intuition does not always appear as the ingenious breakthrough or something grandiose. Intuitive thoughts, feelings, and solutions often manifest themselves as good old common sense. Common sense is efficient." ~ Doc Childre and Bruce Cryer, From Chaos to Coherence

"Words are just words and without heart they have no meaning." ~ Chinese proverb

All of these are important to consider and think about next time you have a serious or heartfelt conversation with someone.  Whether it be a personal communication with a family member or friend.  Or a business related conversation with a boss or co-worker.  

I personally strive to use all 4 of the Key principles in my communications; both in person and in my writing.  It truly makes a difference if you communicate only with your head or if you communicate through your Heart! 

When you're looking for honest communication, think about where your conversation is coming from.  If your words are coming from your heart, the person you're talking to just may start communicating from their heart back.  What's more honest  and authentic... than two hearts communicating?
 

Do You Feel All Your Feelings?

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Feeling Poster from Google Images

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.” ~ Unknown

In '8 to Great', motivational speaker for positive change MK Mueller writes this to describe High-Way 4: Feel All Your Feelings.
"As challenges arise, allowing yourself to feel all your feelings returns you to the freedom of childhood, when emotions came and went without guilt or denial. When we realize that there are no “bad” feelings, we stop getting stuck in one feeling to prevent feeling another. We realize that we can feel mad and sad and still have a positive attitude. Once we’re freed up emotionally, we “feel” better physically as well. Finally, as we overcome the fear and judgment of our own emotions, we can more easily accept the feelings of others." ~MK Mueller

“Eyes that do not cry, do not see.” ~ Swedish Proverb

When I was growing up, I was ridiculed for crying.  So I seldom did.  Later in life, after going through many trials, someone I cared for said I was 'too emotional'.  l later realized that person felt guilty for my caring so much, because they didn't deserve it.  At the time though, I was very confused and hurt.  I decided there must be something wrong with me.  I was determined not to show emotion, care too much or let my deep caring feelings out, to anyone!  That lasted for a while. 

Then I realized and accepted who I.  A caring person who 'feels all her feelings' and uses those 'feelings' to help my family, friends, self, others and to accomplish many great things in my life!  Accepting my all my feelings helps me to love the person I am... emotional, caring, loving, passionate and All! 

If you never get sad... you can be angry for a long time.  Without any release you can stay in a 'rage' state of mind.  We see that in people who are angry or unfeeling most of the time.  The same goes for staying too long in sadness... and never getting angry, using the motivational passion that anger or frustration can give you.  This is when many people fall into depression.   

I try to find the balance in regards to my emotions.   I don't want to stay angry or frustrated when the educational system doesn't do what they should for our special children.  But at the same time, I like to use that motivational energy to fight for my son and others.  The 'anger energy' fires my passion!

On the other side, we need to 'feel all our feelings' at times, such as with the death of a loved one, or another great loss in our lives.  It's a healthy release as long as you don't stay in the sadness too long.

Many times we experience 'mad' and 'sad' in a circle after a death or accident for example.  It's very common for someone to be sad at a situation.... then angry at the same situation later.  Perfectly normal!  So 'feel all your feelings' and accept how others feel too.   We all deserve that!

“Feelings are everywhere - be gentle.” ~ Unknown

Do you 'feel all your feelings'?   Do you accept others?
 

Taking Responsibility for the Roads We Went Down

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"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of." ~ Jim Rohn

In '8 to Great', motivational speaker for positive change MK Mueller writes this to describe High-Way 3: Full Responsibility.

As we travel down the risk High-Way, obstacles and detours will inevitably appear. We can curse our “bad luck,” but not without being pulled off course. Full responsibility is the fundamental shift that allows us to take charge of our lives by owning that we were the ones who chose to go down the road of thoughts that didn’t feel good. Until we see that we’re in charge of our lives, we can feel trapped in a prison of resentment, bitterness, and confusion. When we acknowledge the power of our focus, we realize that we were never prisoners in the first place. ~ MK Mueller

Many times we focus too much on what other people have done to hurt us or how they have negatively effected our lives.  Instead of accepting the circumstances and focusing on the positive, such as the lessons learned and appreciating the things that did go well, many times we start blaming and complaining.  Both are a waist of our time and energy.  Taking full responsibility can help you focus on the future, instead of the past.

"It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do." ~ John Baptiste Moliére

We also need to take responsibility for the things we did or didn't do.  I blamed someone for not being honest and keeping their word.  However, I'm the one who trusted them and ultimately let them manipulate me.  I saw the red flags, but I chose to ignore them.  I needed to accept responsibility for that before I could move on and trust someone again.

"Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will - his personal responsibility." ~ Albert Einstein

Next time when you say it's all because of...., he should have...., she shouldn't have... stop and think about the roll your played in those situations. Did you not ask questions? Did you stand up for yourself? Did you listen to gossip and make poor decisions based on fear instead of knowledge? I think most of us have.

"Whatever happens, take responsibility." ~ Anthony Robbins

When we take responsibility for the roads we went down. we can then re-focus our thoughts on the positives and lessons learned.  You will be much happier if you do!
 

Taking RISK: If you had no Fear?

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"What you are afraid to do is a clear indicator of the next thing you need to do." – Anonymous

In '8 to Great', motivational speaker for positive change MK Mueller write this to describe Highway 2: RISK

Once your dream starts to take shape, your next step will be to take a risk to follow it. Cowards have the same amount of fear as heroes, but while cowards use their fear as an excuse to stay stuck, heroes feel the fear and do it anyway. Whether it’s the risk of telling the truth or pursuing a dream, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. Risking is letting go of security as the world defines it for a larger safety net—being true to yourself. Risk is never running from (our fears)—it’s always running to (our dreams), so ask yourself, “If I had no fear, what would I do?” ~ MK Mueller

The first time I attended this training, I took a Big Risk to overcame my fear of public speaking.  I did and continue to take new Risk each and every day. If I had no fear and took another Hugh Risk; I would start my own business for sure and maybe even move to Chicago! 

How about you?  If you had no fear, what would you do?
 

Picture your Dreams

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"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt

In '8 to Great', motivational speaker for positive change MK Mueller writes this to describe Highway 1: Get the Picture

Visualizing the outcome until it feels good is the first step to any dream or goal. Once you’re clear on your destination, keep thinking about it until you can get excited by what it will be like. Then, from that good-feeling place, the next step will reveal itself as surely as the next yellow brick showed up on Dorothy’s road to Oz. Visualize yourself getting the diploma, driving the new car, or laughing with loved ones. It’ll take you straight to “95” on the Power Pyramid. ~ MK Mueller

Many times we say we want something so badly.  Getting that great job; going on the vacation or winning a sporting event.  However, have you ever noticed that if you can't 'picture' yourself in those situations or 'crossing the finish line', then it doesn't happen.  We have to picture what we want in our mind, to the point of 'feeling' it! 

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." ~ Henry David Thoreau

I kept saying that I wanted to sell my house.  I cleaned and painted..... nothing, no offers!  Then someone asked me at an '8 to Great' training if I had 'pictured' a 'SOLD" sign in my yard.  Well, no I hadn't.  So did I really want to sell my house or had I not put the right 'picture; in my head and heart.  It was the second answer.

I've said I wanted a Great man to come into my life.  However, until I could actually 'pictured' myself with a Great guy, in a Great relationship, being treated Great.... I kept getting asked out by 'not so great' men.  Not anymore! 

I believe that because of my changes in myself over the last 2 years, I don't attract the 'not so great' types anymore.  Which is 'Great' with me!

Next time when you say you want something, picture it to the point of 'feeling' like it has already happened or been achieved.  Try it, then see your 'dreams' come true. 

What Dream can You Picture?
 

"8 to Great" is a Life Changing Experience!

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"Today's Gratitude buys you tomorrows happiness" ~unknown

"8 to Great is a powerful book from cover to cover. MK Mueller has turned ancient wisdom into modern day tools in one of the most original presentations I have ever read." - Mike Dooley, featured in The Secret and author of Infinite Possibilities: The Art of Living Your Dreams
 
I realized after reading '8 to Great' just how life changing the 8 High-Way processes are and why. First off it explains in detail the results of a positive attitude.  How being grateful every day makes us happy no matter what the circumstances at the moment.
 
"Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day." ~ Author Unknown
 
 I didn't grow up believing in myself.  Then my youngest son didn't have anyone who believed in him, except for me.  So I know how powerful it is to show kids, and adults, how a grateful attitude is the prelude in believing anything is possible.  When they know anything is possible, they know they can believe in themselves and their dreams. 

“Everything is material for the seed of happiness, if you look into it with inquisitiveness and curiosity. The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment. There always is the potential to create an environment of blame -- or one that is conducive to loving-kindness.” - Pema Chodron 

I found out that MK Mueller offered training sessions for people to become Certified trainers.  These trainers are then able to teach and reach more students and adults.  So this summer I became a certified '8 to Great' trainer/presenter for the '8 to Great' program. It was developed from the book '8 to Great' by MK Mueller.
 
Originally the curriculum was created for 6 - 12 grades. Now it is taught not only taught in middle and high schools. It is taught in colleges, YMCA's, community centers, churches, summer camps.. the list is endless. 
 
I would recommend the book and training to anyone.  Both are life changing experiences, just on different levels. The list of ways to share '8 to Great' processes are endless.  Here is the link to: MK Mueller's '8 to Great'.  The website has endless resources and information.  My hope that all children and adults learn to live each day being grateful and happy!

"Training and managing your own mind is the most important skill you could ever own, in terms of both happiness and success."- T. Harv Eker

 

Half Full Friday! June 25th

Half Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eye Girl originally started in June 2009.

We believe that a lot of our happiness is determined by our attitude about the things that happen to us. So by participating, we are deciding to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. We are choosing to concentrate on the positives, instead of dwelling on the negatives. Our Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that. They are a list of the things in our life that have brought us happiness over the past week.

"Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day." ~ Author Unknown

We are determined to find the something good in every day.  Are you?

For the next week, we challenge you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day. On Friday, write your own Half Full Friday post and return to Life As Eye See It to link your post and to see what other bloggers found happiness in during the past week.

Don't forget to grab a Half Full Friday Banner or Button for your blog post if you are going to join in:

This is my third time joining Half Full Friday and here is what I'm Happy for this week:

• I am happy that I got to attend the 'Get Motivated' Event on Monday! 
• I am happy that I got to see so many Amazing Speakers this week! 
• I am happy that I completed the '8 to Great' Certification training!  It was life changing! 
• I am happy I met MK Mueller, her staff and all the wonderful people in my class!
• I am happy that my "8 to Great" training group will contine to keep in touch! 
• I am happy that I attended the SBAM breakfast Thursday and met author,Wendy Townley!
• I am happy for my experiences, training, and personal growth this week!
• I am happy that I still have 3 more days off to rest and write about my recent experiences! :-)

Have a Great weekend, Everyone!
Love & Hugs Always my Friends,
Coreen