I'm BACK!!!

Hello!!  Oh how I have missed blogging and you ALL so much!  I have been gone way too long.

This past year has been a FLASH of events, traumas, health issues and enormous stress.  All of which piled up on me to the point of exhaustion.  I needed to take a step back and take care of myself first; then figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  

One thing lead to another this past year causing me to learn many lessons.  In the end I regained the confidence, strength and self esteem I seemed to have lost a time or two in the past few years.  Finding my direction and voice again has led me to the real path God intended for me all along.

Next week I start a brand new journey in a totally different field.  I am looking forward to a fresh start, new adventures working for a company that helps people with Christian values.  A company that models compassion and respect to their clients and employees in a positive work environment.

Positive environments, respect and reasonable expectations play a major roll in employee morale, health and happiness.  I have learned to both treat myself and others with respect, compassion and appreciation.  

All in all, I learned to take care of myself first.  I learned I can handle more work than I ever imagined.  I learned overwhelming amounts of information and now have the skills that brought me to these new opportunities.

I had so many positives this year too.  I met several great friends who taught me true compassion with their selfless acts of kindness.   I also met amazing people while volunteering this fall; who each taught me by example.  Such as how to enjoy the moments and find the good in everyone; as well as how to handle disappointments with grace and gratitude.  

Today I said goodbye to some of those amazing people and Friday I say 'see you later' to others whom I consider my guardian angels this past year.  This week is bitter sweet, filled with lots of mixed emotions; however I feel in my heart that this is the right decision and that this move will open so many more doors for me. :-)

"When one door closes; another one Opens!"

Building Character

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"We aim to develop physique, mentality and character in our students; but because the first two are menaces without the third, the greatest of these is character." ~ Joseph Dana Allen, Headmaster

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The CHARACTER COUNTS! approach to character education doesn't exclude anyone. That's why Character Counts.org base their programs and materials on six ethical values that everyone can agree on — values that are not political, religious, or culturally biased. Use the points below to help young people understand the Six Pillars.
For a more detailed discussion of the Six Pillars, consult the book, Making Ethical Decisions.

Trustworthiness
Be honest • Don’t deceive, cheat, or steal • Be reliable — do what you say you’ll do • Have the courage to do the right thing • Build a good reputation • Be loyal — stand by your family, friends, and country

Respect
Treat others with respect; follow the Golden Rule • Be tolerant and accepting of differences • Use good manners, not bad language • Be considerate of the feelings of others • Don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone • Deal peacefully with anger, insults, and disagreements

Responsibility
Do what you are supposed to do • Plan ahead • Persevere: keep on trying! • Always do your best • Use self-control • Be self-disciplined • Think before you act — consider the consequences • Be accountable for your words, actions, and attitudes • Set a good example for others

Fairness
Play by the rules • Take turns and share • Be open-minded; listen to others • Don’t take advantage of others • Don’t blame others carelessly • Treat all people fairly

Caring
Be kind • Be compassionate and show you care • Express gratitude • Forgive others • Help people in need

Citizenship
Do your share to make your school and community better • Cooperate • Get involved in community affairs • Stay informed; vote • Be a good neighbor • Obey laws and rules • Respect authority • Protect the environment • Volunteer
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"Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are to some extent a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it piece by piece—by thought, choice, courage and determination." ~ John Luther

Character Counts.org

Good Character.com

Character in Action.com

4-H Building Character activities for Children

52 Character Building Thoughts for Children

4-H and Military Partnerships Character Education

Every Monday Matters - Respect the Disabled!

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FACTS

1 in 6 people aged 5 and older, 54 million people, have a non-institutionalizing disability.

25 million disabled are of an employable age.

78% want to be employed, but only 33% have a job.

Disabilities are more often acquired from accidents, illnesses, or late-emerging effects of genetics than by congenital disorders.

Not all severe disabilities can be seen with the human eye.

Over 15% of the cars parked in a handicapped parking space are parked illegally.

TAKE ACTION TODAY

Show respect to the disabled today.

Don’t park in a handicapped parking space or use handicapped plates or placards illegally. Designated parking for the handicapped is a necessity for them, not an opportunity for you to save yourself a few steps.

Don’t use handicapped bathroom stalls unless you’re handicapped. A handicapped person’s need to use the restroom may be just as urgent as yours, and it often takes them longer to prepare to use the facilities.

Drive cautiously and courteously. When you see a handicapped license plate, slow down and show consideration rather than tailgating or honking.

Help people who need assistance by opening a door, rolling a wheelchair up or down an incline, carrying shopping bags, or offering an arm in challenging weather conditions or on uneven walkways.

YOU MATTER

The majority of people with disabilities want to be totally integrated into all aspects of society. With more awareness, respect, and helpfulness, you can make someone’s life a little bit easier. People don’t plan on getting disabilities, but it happens every day. One day, that disabled person may even be you.

Monday used to be the least favorite day of the week, but that is changing. EMM is based on the idea that every Monday people can make a difference in their life and the lives of those around them. No matter how big or small the actions, they matter. And not only do people have the power to make change, they have a social responsibility to do so. Not out of guilt, but out of an appreciation for every living thing in the world. Together, each person can make a difference in the world and raise the collective consciousness, thereby creating a legacy worth participating in…one Monday at a time.

For more information about the EMM movement visit: http://www.everymondaymatters.com/

She is crazy...but very smart.

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She is crazy, but very smart.  She has spies everywhere because she is very clever and knows how to pull people in with her lies and perception of the truth. She gets them to 'spy for her' and tell her things by being very 'sweet' and manipulating her half truths to get people to feel sorry for her.  Those she pulls in are willing to help her because they either believe her lies or are very nosy and want to know what they 'think' is going on in other peoples' lives.  Gossip is a form of entertainment for them.  Many are phony to people's faces, then talk behind their backs.  These people should be fired, but their bosses don’t know.

She also has a 6th sense, however she doesn’t use it for good or to make better life choices. She uses it to get what she wants.  The knowledge she gains from her spies, along with her just ‘knowing’ at times, is what she uses to manipulate the people in her life. She uses guilt to get her way or makes up lies to gain sympathy from others and then gains control whenever someone tries to pull away from them.

She doesn’t care what she says, how she acts or who she hurts. Their world and perceptions revolve only around themselves and what they want. The people that they are supposed to love, including her own children, get put in the middle and used for leverage. She keeps her man awake at night arguing, not caring if he gets enough sleep, has to get up early or has a long drive to work and back home each day.  Not caring if the fighting and stress effects his job or if he gets in an accident because she didn't let him get enough sleep. She doesn’t care. She thinks it serves him right for her not getting what she wants. She is selfish and self-serving.  She has an excuse for everything. 

People like this, both male and female, must be very insecure and feel threatened, for whatever reason or excuse they come up with.  They take no responsibility for their own choices or actions. They are obviously miserable in their own lives, so they cause trouble in other peoples, with their actions and behaviors.  Most even act as if everything in life is about them.  It shows in their manipulation and constant rudeness toward others.

I know several people like this. At one time I actually tried to be friends with one of them. Mostly because I didn’t want them as an enemy. I saw what they were capable of. I also tried to see the good in everyone and wanted to be friends with all that I met back then.  I now know I don't want to be friends with everyone.  Another part of me thought I needed to become strong enough to ‘handle’ people like this.  That it would make me a better person.

I was wrong!  I saw the malicious things these types of people are capable of... first hand.  The friendships they ruined and the lives they tried to destroy.   People like that are no good to be around... no matter how strong you are or how nice a person you want to be. Their self-centered nature, self-serving motives and negative attitudes... can suck the life right out of you if you let them.

I have a very good friend who is in a similar situation.  Looking from the outside in, I feel they have a person just like this around them.  They are negatively and maliciously affecting their life.  My friend is a really nice person, hard worker, great parent and an all around good person. They put everyone else first in their lives, because that is who they are.  Every human being deserves to be treated with respect at the very least. Along with the honest truth and appreciation.  We all deserve those!

I worry about them because I doubt they take care of themselves.  I know they don't get enough sleep and I’m equally sure they have enormous stress in their life. I pray for their health and safety every day!  I wish for peace and happiness to fill their life very soon.  I also wish I knew they were Ok more often... but I don't want to cause my friend more trouble or stress.  That's the last thing I want to do.

I know it’s none of my business; however I understand what it’s like to live your life doing your best with little or no appreciation.  In addition to having outside influences cause unnecessary trouble and needless stress. I also know what it’s like to be in a relationship where the other person is selfish and self-serving.  Because of my own experiences, I have enormous compassion and understanding. I also feel I have a right to care… as a friend and as a human being in this world.  We all should care how people are treated!  The world would be a better place if we all had a little more humility.

Humility, or being humble, is the quality of being modest, reverential, even politely submissive, and never being arrogant, contemptuous, rude or even self-abasing. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, being connected with notions of transcendent unity and of egolessness.  Which mean having no emotional state of ego or selfishness.

Humility is often rewarded in relationships. It is the way of the world to fill the empty cup. Regardless of your position, humility is a positive and deceptively powerful attribute. True humility is a virtue to which all should aspire.

The happiest people are those who know how to bring each situation into balance by reducing that which is too great in their lives, and by adding to that which is too little. A humble person craves not power, but balanced and stable relationships. Humility is the virtue that allows you to perceive the balancing force; humble people are not prey to the many illusions that grow out of self-importance. If humility is not natural to our disposition, we should make a conscious effort to develop it.

“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

"This is the wish we should all have for each other: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life." ~ Author Unknown

Manipulative People: Covert Aggressive Personality Disorder
Video on Narcissism

The Lotus Touts... tips for a Good Life and Great Relatioionships.

Lotus Touts means Good Luck.  It originates from Feng Shui which is an ancient Chinese system of aesthetics believed to use the laws of both Heaven (astronomy) and Earth (geography) to help one improve life by receiving positives.  There are many translations and spin offs of it.  Feng Shui is demonstrated in architecture now and western cultures are embracing it.

The Lotus Touts is a list of  Good Guidelines for Life and Relationships.  They should be posted in our homes right along with 'Love is' and 'House Rules' prints.  There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This Lotus Touts has been provided to you for good luck and good advice only. 

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE.. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye..

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE.... Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

For more on Feng Shui and tips to improve your life, relationships and bringing more positive energy into your life:  About Feng Shui.com    Absolutely Feng Shui   The World of Feng Shui

Until Men say something.... the abuse won't stop.

"A person may cause evil to others not only by his actions but by his inaction, and in either case he is justly accountable to them for injury." ~John Stuart Mill

The a recent story about Mel Gibson's abusive rants and alleged abuse has once again brought up many points.  Points regarding the attitudes and responses of the men in our society toward the 'bad' behavior of other men.

One point is why do some men get away with what they do and why 'commen' everyday people sit in jail during the investigations.   If not for the safety of the women involved, but because there are laws that the men in question have violated.

Another point is the effect of fame, stature and of course money has on cases like these.  The treatment is obviously different and happens on many social levels all over the country and world.  Probably has as long as people have been on this earth.  However, that doesn't mean it's OK.

We've seen this not only in Hollywood and Washington, but in 'small town America' as well.  The 'rich' person who owns a main business in town that employs many of the male 'bread winners' or the man who 'shares' excessive money with his 'male friends'. 

Some 'big shot men' in local communities treat the women in their lives with little or no respect and are even abusive right in front of other people.  In each these scenarios, I've never seen one man standing there say anything to them.  Not to their faces anyway.  Behind their backs they may talk to each other about the behavior and even warn other women to stay away from them.  To their face however, they say nothing and allow the behavior to continue without any repercussions to their 'good old boys club' friendships.

A final point, is why his behavior towards women is tolerated by other men.  A far greater issue in our society.  The tolerance of abuse by other males is the number one reason the abuse continues in our country and of course the world.  

After my own experiences, countless hours talking to both men and women, the healing I was able to gain through my own growth followed by forgiveness.... I was finally able to understand where much of the abusive behavior really comes from... which is a lack of respect for women in general!

The over all issue is how the violence and abuse, not only physical but verbal and emotional as well, against women will ever stop.  Well it won't, at least not until other 'men' stand up and say something to their male friends, relatives, co-workers, neighbors and even the strangers they encounter on the streets in public places. 

Abusive men, don't respect women.  That is obvious!  So another women saying something to them, even their own mother, sister, grandmother... has no impact on their behavior or way of thinking.  Again, because either conscious or subconscious, these men don't respect women.  Or they wouldn't have the attitudes and excuses they do to treat them badly.  All the excuses in the world doesn't change the fact that these men would never treat another 'man' the same way.  No matter how angry or frustrated they 'feel' these people make them.   Of course most of us know that that alone is an excuse.

Now I'm not saying that no man stands up to another man.  Of course they do, my own sons do and I have several male friends who do.  However that is not the norm and until it is the normal and immediate response, of the vast majority of men the abusive treatment of women will not stop in our country or the world overall.

My dear friend Sushmita wrote the perfect poem this week to go with this post that I would like to  share: the little doll who had a heart....
 

They Tore the Cross Down!

The cross was put up out of respect to the fallen soldiers.  In a  country that was founded on Freedom of Religion and the right to fight for that Freedom.  We had 'faith' in the 'system' and we all need 'faith'. 

The system finally worked and the Cross could remain where it has been for 70 years.  So the people who didn't win, took it down and stool it in the middle of the night, hiding behind 'darkness'.  Darkness in more ways than one. Such heros aren't they?  What has happened to our country?
Don't Tear the Cross Down!
Archive 2010 - Big D & Bubba

My 3 Sons

This is a picture of me with my 3 sons. They are awesome young men and very good to me! They are very close to each other and very respectful and compassionate toward other people. I could not be prouder of my boys!

Michael is my oldest son. He is a powerlifting champion and has also been on the United States Powerlifting team 6 times. Graduated from college and is now in grad school. He is going into the medical field because he truly wants to help people. Says he made the decision from seeing what his youngest brother with Asperger Syndrome, has gone through.

Matthew, my middle son, was leading tackler and All State in high school. He thought he wanted to play college football too, but after one season realized it wasn't fun anymore. So he changed colleges and career direction after his first semester. He is now a graphic designer/brander in Chicago and finishing his bachelor’s degree. So cool!

Brandon is my youngest son and my triple miracle! As most of you know by now, he had Asperger Syndrome. But there is so much more to the story. I had my tubes tied after my second son Matthew was born; another story in itself for another time.

I got pregnant after my divorce from one time; I swear that is totally true. To say I was shocked.. is an understatement. I carried the pregnancy test around in my purse for so long that the pink ‘plus’ sign finally faded.

I had a rough pregnancy while taking care of a 2 and 4 year old by myself. Brandon was born 10 weeks early and only given a 25% chance of making it. He of course made it and will be 20 years old next month. He doesn’t agree, but we all know that he is a Miracle to me, his brothers and anyone who takes the time to know him!

Brandon has overcome so much in his life. He is now in college for Culinary Arts and doing extremely well. He attended 5 schools, before finding a good one ‘for him’ and overcoming his learning difficulties. The school that finally helped him says he is truly a “success story”; and of course he is!

So there is the ‘short’ version of My 3 Sons! I have been and continue to be very blessed by them each and every day! I love them more than anything! This is my family and they are my world!
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