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"Fill your mind with light, happiness, hope, feelings of security and strength, and soon your life will reflect these qualities." ~Unknown

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"The Greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance!" ~Brian Tracy

All post and stories are the sole property of Velvet Over Steel aka Coreen Trost. I write and create post in order to help others, so share as you want. I just ask that you link back or give VOS credit. Some of the stories are going into a book in progress. Thank You ALL.. for your support and help!!
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." ~ John Quincy Adams

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Letting go of our Safety Nets

“Not Listening = Safety Net = Staying Stuck 
Listening = Owning Up to Your Own Stuff 
= Letting Go = Happiness”
"When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun.  Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious.  You could break a bone or a heart.  You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you.  And in life, there's no 'safety net'.  When did life stop being fun and start being scary?" ~unknown
I spent a great deal of my life, playing it safe.  Living each day being cautious, planing ahead my every step if I could.  I thought that if I didn't, I'd end up on a tight rope 200 feet above the dark hole of the unknown, with no one and nothing the catch me if I fell.  It's a scary place to be when you're all you have to take care of yourself and your children.  

I now see why I stayed in situations, relationships and jobs, FAR longer than I should have.  When I was married, at least I knew I could be there for my children and provide for them financially.  The same was true with some jobs over the years. 

Even though I didn't always feel safe or wasn't personally happy at periods in my life, I at least knew what to expect most days.  I was afraid to change those situations, because I had no idea what to expect in regards to actions and reactions by others... if I were to leave or move on.  

So I stayed in my 'safety net' of familiar surrounds that even if unpleasant, were at least 'predictable'.  When I've been in both toxic relationships or stressful jobs, walking on egg shells became a part of my daily routine, in order to keep the peace or minimize the drama around me.  A survival skill learned and lived for too many of us.

There comes a time in most of our lives where something is no longer working or being us happiness.  Yet so many of us stay where we do, in 'safety nets', because it's a routine we are used to.  Hanging onto 'safety nets' keeps us stuck in those situations and keep us from making needed changes. 

Listening to our hearts and being honest with ourselves, allows us to let go of the things in our lives that are no longer working or best for us.  Listening allows us to see things the way they truly are, which allows us to own up to our own 'stuff', which includes the roles we play in the situations we're in.  Admitting truths to ourselves and accepting responsibility for our own actions and non-actions, will move us forward... in a positive, healthy direction and a fulfilled, happy life! 

As the old saying goes "Change is only as painful as the resistance", which means it's all about the 'fear' around the 'change' more than the change itself.  So instead of pre-thinking all the changes, it's best to live in the moment.  Going through each day seeing what it's like, flowing with it and having faith.  Staying in the moment is not usually fearful.  It's only the fear that makes it difficult.

Now a days I'm much more spontaneous, even 'going with the flow' in my daily life viewing each day as an adventure.  I actually enjoy the changes, seeing the life lessons and focusing on positive outcomes. When we let go of our 'safety nets' and allow a change to happen, there’s always a lesson for our souls growth.  Trust in that!

“A little shake up on Earth is not going to disturb you. Stay in who you are. The mind, the thinking mind is often confused. When you don’t understand or can’t figure it out, let go. By letting go you will create the only safety net you'll ever need... the one inside of you. The thinking mind creates scenarios (good/bad, right/wrong, high/low).  So be true to your heart because the only real safety net is in your heart.” ~unknown 

Love them or Leave them
Who is my Twin Flame?


  1. Caution and safety are my middle names! It's tough sometimes, but I've learned to take small steps outside my comfort zone.
    Ironically, I wasn't a risk-taking as a kid, either.

  2. Dear Coreen, what a beautiful and substantial post. I so know what you mean, as most of us prefer the bad but the familiar that the perhaps good, but new.;) It is only when we find courage to jump without safety nets and when we suddenly realize that after some struggle we can indeed fly, that life grows a whole new meaning.;))
    Have a lovely Monday,

  3. I know the safety net thing...I always did it too. I am glad you are feeling more spontaneous and growing!

  4. the safety net... i liked the term.. most of us are into it... loved the end of the post.. so courageous!!! thanks for this one...

  5. You just need to jump in and go with it.

  6. You mean there really are "Safety Nets?" LOL, I've never planned ahead and I can tell you... we need to compare notes. Both sides has its plus and minuses. :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  7. I have always been a 'safety first' kind of gal. It scares me if I have no nets!
    xo Catherine


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