Life changing true stories told to encourage, empower and inspire us!

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"Fill your mind with light, happiness, hope, feelings of security and strength, and soon your life will reflect these qualities." ~Unknown

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"The Greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance!" ~Brian Tracy

All post and stories are the sole property of Velvet Over Steel aka Coreen Trost. I write and create post in order to help others, so share as you want. I just ask that you link back or give VOS credit. Some of the stories are going into a book in progress. Thank You ALL.. for your support and help!!
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." ~ John Quincy Adams

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Preconceived Notions

"'When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.' - Wayne Dyer"

The dictionary defines a ‘Preconceived notion’ as - an opinion formed beforehand without adequate evidence. That description is extremely accurate in the case of my son who has Asperger Syndrome. He has been misunderstood and misjudged most of his life.

He even knows now that both doctors and teachers in his past have had preconceived notions about his ability to learn achieve and even what he cares or doesn’t care about. Just from looking at him or from listening to what another teachers or doctors had told them.

My son is very smart and caring. He just doesn’t have a lot of outward enthusiasm or a great deal of facial expression. That’s just Brandon! But unfortunately many people have made some pretty harsh ‘preconceived notions’ about my son just from his outward appearance or demeanor.

I feel that I am constantly trying to get past that barrier to get people to give my son a chance, in both social and work situations. It used to be in school or education situations too, but that has gotten better.

Other people’s preconceived notions have also caused my son great pain over the years. When he has tried to make friends to when he has looked for summer jobs. Kids can be cruel, but adults who should know better, can be even crueler. If people just take the time to get you know him, they see how smart, caring and funny he is and then they start to understand him. I love it when that happens!

My son has been through a lot and misunderstood often; but all those experiences have made him an even more Awesome young man. He sees past other people’s difficulties or outward appearance and has great empathy and understanding. He has no preconceived notions! He gives everyone a chance!

He is my inspiration and I am so proud of him! Love you Brandon!!
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  1. The awesome young man he because of you. For those who cannot see past their misguided notions to see that special's their loss.

  2. He sounds like a very special boy! And you sound like the most loving mom! Keep smiling.

  3. Absolutely! i have never met a child who is not amazing. Any child. The (few) Asbergers children I have known have blown me away with their intelligence and abilities. I hope the world doesn't miss out on all your son has to offer.

  4. smiles. that was a great post. one of the kids i work with has asperger syndrome...i know exactly what you are saying...

  5. I love your blog. It is honest and in one post I feel like I already know you. Then I read more and you are as open and honest in every post. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for shining a little light on something I knew so little about. Hugs, Jen

  6. Your son sounds like quite the little man. I'm looking forward to reading more now that I'm a follower.

    K from LifeofK

  7. Coreen - you are such a great mom! And your Brandon - everyone could learn from him!

    It's too bad that all of these people with preconceived notions don't realize that. And unfortunately they usually learn too late in life. I see this too with those in my life dealing with these circumstances.

    Brandon - thank you for being you - for seeing good in others and for setting a great example!

  8. What a great post! Glad I found your blog, I will be following it. Happy Follow Friday!

  9. Thanks for visiting my blog, Coreen! I really appreciate your sweet comment! Hope you have a lovely weekend. :)

  10. Brandon without a doubt sounds like a really cool young man!~ I just can't get over the behavior of adults will have to get into that more sometime, I am interested in reading about that. Coreen you would look fabulous in all those Spring colors I showed with your hair and your eyes, oh yeah you would be getting some double takes! You have a great weekend too....I am always happy when I see you, because I am getting caught up in so many readings of blogs, I have too many now:) But I would get over here sooner or later!

  11. This is such an important lesson for us all--to stop judging others and just love them like Jesus would! Your son is an amazing person--he's got a great mom too! :o)

  12. Stopping by to say Hi and Happy Follow Friday (a day late)! Now following you!

    I have a whole bunch of giveaways going on if you wanted to check them out!

  13. My son was just diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome this week. I haven't written about it on my blog because my Mother would flip out (she worries about everything and worries that someone might get preconceived notions about my son if they read that he has it). Personally, my son is a great kid. You wouldn't really think that there is anything different about him, or at least, not different enough. So people expect him to respond normally but sometimes he's just not engaged in the situation and hasn't caught on to what is going on. I am personally grateful for the diagnosis because I hope that it will help his teachers to understand that he needs a little bit more help in certain areas. Because he is smart and well-behaved and happy they just feel like it is laziness on his part that he doesn't always know what is going on in the classroom and is totally disorganized. Maybe now we'll get some of the support that he needs in school.

    I know a few kids with Asperger Syndrome and a few adults. They function fine in society. It really is too bad that people aren't patient enough to get to know a person and start treating them badly per se.

  14. Hello there! I LOVE this post. I certainly think your son has a wonderful momma too who is really working to teach others about Aspergers. He is a lucky boy (and I bet he IS fantastic!). Being critical and judging others is something that each and every one of us should do less of!

    Thank you! Going to 'follow' you! If you get the chance...stop in and say Hello!!

  15. Hi there!

    We are already followers of your blog but just wanted to stop by to check out your site again and say hello. :)

  16. I found you through friday follow. I am now following you :)

    Have a great day!

    Leslie M


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