Happy Aloha Friday!

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Hello again!  I'm so glad it's Friday.  I'm exhausted!  I've been so busy this week.  Too busy to even visit blogs this week, work on mine or even thank my commenter's.  My Apologies!  It didn't help that the Internet has been up and down all week.  Of course it's been down when I've had a few moments.  That's the way it goes sometimes! :-)

I came across this Happy Aloha Friday post last week, and since I LOVE Hawaii... I thought I would do it again.  Remember 'Eye Girl' with 'Half Full Friday' is on hiatus for her wedding this month.  I will still include what I'm happy for this week later in this post.

If you want to join in the fun? Post your own question on your blog and leave your link at the Aloha Friday post at An Island Life. Then you can visit the other participants if you wish...It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends or see what people are thinking about this week and join in a conversation or two if you like.

Here is my question:  If you won the lottery, would you continue to work?  Why or Why Not and in what way? 

My answer:  I would work, just not my current job.  I would follow my dreams and passion with with a step by step plan to reach my goals.  Instead of waiting for the 'right time' as I need to currently.   

My dream job would be to really learn to write and present 'storyteller' style in order to encourage and inspire people.  A top priority would be helping 'Special' children who have no one to 'fight' for them.  With an extra focus on Asperger Syndrome Children and Awareness.

"Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness." - George Santayana

Now for my regular Half Full Friday followers, here is what I'm Happy for this week:

• I am very happy that my son is so excited about his second year of college starting soon.
• I am happy that it was much cooler this week and I could walk more!
• I am happy I got to go to the lake with friends again last weekend!
• I am happy that the guys are back this week at work & that students will be back on Monday.  It's been way to quite for me.
• I am happy for a small family gathering this week!
• I am very happy with 'myself' this week! :-)

"If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes." - Andrew Carnegie

Love & Hugs Always,
Coreen
 

Do You Feel All Your Feelings?

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Feeling Poster from Google Images

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.” ~ Unknown

In '8 to Great', motivational speaker for positive change MK Mueller writes this to describe High-Way 4: Feel All Your Feelings.
"As challenges arise, allowing yourself to feel all your feelings returns you to the freedom of childhood, when emotions came and went without guilt or denial. When we realize that there are no “bad” feelings, we stop getting stuck in one feeling to prevent feeling another. We realize that we can feel mad and sad and still have a positive attitude. Once we’re freed up emotionally, we “feel” better physically as well. Finally, as we overcome the fear and judgment of our own emotions, we can more easily accept the feelings of others." ~MK Mueller

“Eyes that do not cry, do not see.” ~ Swedish Proverb

When I was growing up, I was ridiculed for crying.  So I seldom did.  Later in life, after going through many trials, someone I cared for said I was 'too emotional'.  l later realized that person felt guilty for my caring so much, because they didn't deserve it.  At the time though, I was very confused and hurt.  I decided there must be something wrong with me.  I was determined not to show emotion, care too much or let my deep caring feelings out, to anyone!  That lasted for a while. 

Then I realized and accepted who I.  A caring person who 'feels all her feelings' and uses those 'feelings' to help my family, friends, self, others and to accomplish many great things in my life!  Accepting my all my feelings helps me to love the person I am... emotional, caring, loving, passionate and All! 

If you never get sad... you can be angry for a long time.  Without any release you can stay in a 'rage' state of mind.  We see that in people who are angry or unfeeling most of the time.  The same goes for staying too long in sadness... and never getting angry, using the motivational passion that anger or frustration can give you.  This is when many people fall into depression.   

I try to find the balance in regards to my emotions.   I don't want to stay angry or frustrated when the educational system doesn't do what they should for our special children.  But at the same time, I like to use that motivational energy to fight for my son and others.  The 'anger energy' fires my passion!

On the other side, we need to 'feel all our feelings' at times, such as with the death of a loved one, or another great loss in our lives.  It's a healthy release as long as you don't stay in the sadness too long.

Many times we experience 'mad' and 'sad' in a circle after a death or accident for example.  It's very common for someone to be sad at a situation.... then angry at the same situation later.  Perfectly normal!  So 'feel all your feelings' and accept how others feel too.   We all deserve that!

“Feelings are everywhere - be gentle.” ~ Unknown

Do you 'feel all your feelings'?   Do you accept others?
 

Happy Aloha Friday!

Hello and TGIF!  I came across this one, Happy Aloha Friday, and since I used to live in and LOVE Hawaii... I thought I would do something new while 'Eye Girl' is on hiatus for her wedding this month.

Wanna join in the fun? Post your own question on your blog and leave your link at the Aloha Friday post at An Island Life. Then you can visit the other participants if you wish...It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends or see what people are thinking about this week and join in a conversation or two if you like.

Here is my question:  If you could do anything at all this weekend, money is no object however it's only something you can do in 2 days and get back to work and real life on Monday.  So what would you do?

My answer:  I would fly to Chicago, see my son and spend the weekend on a beach along Lake Michigan.

"Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence". –Aristotle

Now for my regular Half Full Friday followers, here is what I'm Happy for this week:

• I am happy that I got my dining room, kitchen and entry redecorated! It's more sophisticated and I like the new look.
• I am very happy that my son called people, all on his own, and handled something very important to him! So proud of him AGAIN!
• I am happy that I was able to accomplish some of my personal goals this week!
• I am very happy to have family around again! :-)
• I am happy it's going to cool down this weekend!

"Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections." – Author Unknown

Love & Hugs Always,
Coreen
 

Silencing the Violence of Verbal Abuse

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Poster by: Matthew Hafenbrack  @ Creative Haf Design

As heartbreaking as it is to think about, many people (men and women; young and old) experience and suffer from some form of abuse everyday in this world.  Some for many years of their lives unfortunately.  However, I feel that Verbal Emotional Abuse is the most common and has the most lasting scars.  Bones heal, bruises fade, but the negative words spin in our heads over and over again.  Sometimes those Invisible Scars send people into deep depression from verbal abuse.  Keeping them from healing, focusing and moving past the pain.  It's hard to know you are not the cause when you are told over and over that you are. 

Abuse is usually associated with adults in marriages or relationships and between parents and children.   Now a days we see verbal and emotional abuse in not only in homes but also on the playgrounds, in the schools and even in work places.  It is even on the Internet in cyber space, referred to as Cyber Bullying.  The effects of verbal and emotional abuse are much more devastating to children and teens who are already struggling to fit in, make friends and build their self-esteem.

I was first a child watching abuse growing up, which effected my relationships later on; then I was the victum myself in an abusive marriage.  I know in my own experience it took me many years to heal and to get my self-esteem back. However the abuse in front of my children was the most devastating to me. The effects of experiencing or witnessing verbal abuse by children can cause more long-term, psychological damage than physical abuse.  They also could have learned and believed that that is how a woman should be treated  However, they saw the abuse for what it was...  Abuse... and how horribly wrong it was!  

As grown men now, all 3 are incredibly compassionate and protective of woman. They have told me the lessons they learned, which are how not to treat someone and how not to tolerate anyone else they see being abusive. I am so thankful and so proud of them!!!

The poster above was created by my middle son, a graphic designer Creative Haf Design.  He did this as a volunteer project to Stop Verbal Abuse.  He is a very talented and like his brothers, is passionate about speaking up for the protection of women and stopping abuse for both men and women, Silencing the Violence once and for all!  We discussed the role of men in a previous post Until Men say something.... the abuse won't stop.

I am a much stronger and confident person now a days and know that who I am today is partly because of what I went through yesterday.

Even though I have forgiven those who have hurt me and have moved past the pain, I feel I am suppose to write and use my life experiences to help other woman (and men) who have gone through or continue to go through similar experiences.

I truly believe that God uses our life experiences, both good and bad, to learn valuable life lessons, to grow emotionally and spiritually... as well as help others if we so choose. 

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." ~ Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Poster by: Matthew Hafenbrack @ Creative Haf Design

Below are some good articles on this subject:
Verbal Abuse Definition
Verbal Abuse - The Characteristics
The Verbal Abuse Site with video examples
How Can Someone Identify and Respond to Verbal Abuse?
Exercise to determine verbal abuse from CyberParent.com
The Effects of Verbal Abuse on Children
How to Help Children Understand Verbal Abuse

Manipulative People: Covert Aggressive Personality Disorder

More Resources:
National Coalition of Domestic Violence, Resources by State @ http://www.ncadv.org/

National Domestic Violence Hotline @ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) – A crisis intervention and referral phone line for domestic violence.

 

Half Full Friday! August 6th

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” - Abraham Lincoln

Half Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eye Girl originally started in June 2009.We believe that a lot of our happiness is determined by our attitude about the things that happen to us. So by participating, we are deciding to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. We are choosing to concentrate on the positives, instead of dwelling on the negatives. Our Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that. They are a list of the things in our life that have brought us happiness over the past week.  We are determined to find the something good in every day.  Are you?

"Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response." - Mildred Barthel

For the next week, we challenge you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day. On Friday, write your own Half Full Friday post and return to Life As Eye See It to link your post and to see what other bloggers found happiness in during the past week.

Don't forget to grab a Half Full Friday Banner or Button for your blog post if you are going to join in:

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” - Buddha

This is what I'm Happy for this week:

• I am happy that I had a very, very productive week!
• I am happy that my house looks Awesome!
• I am very happy that I have a House Showing today! :-)
• I am happy that my son made it to Houston safely! 
• I am very happy my sons value education! :-)
• I am happy for the beautiful walking weather!
• I am happy for just plain 'Feeling Good'!

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson!

Love & Hugs Always,
Coreen
 

Taking Responsibility for the Roads We Went Down

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"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of." ~ Jim Rohn

In '8 to Great', motivational speaker for positive change MK Mueller writes this to describe High-Way 3: Full Responsibility.

As we travel down the risk High-Way, obstacles and detours will inevitably appear. We can curse our “bad luck,” but not without being pulled off course. Full responsibility is the fundamental shift that allows us to take charge of our lives by owning that we were the ones who chose to go down the road of thoughts that didn’t feel good. Until we see that we’re in charge of our lives, we can feel trapped in a prison of resentment, bitterness, and confusion. When we acknowledge the power of our focus, we realize that we were never prisoners in the first place. ~ MK Mueller

Many times we focus too much on what other people have done to hurt us or how they have negatively effected our lives.  Instead of accepting the circumstances and focusing on the positive, such as the lessons learned and appreciating the things that did go well, many times we start blaming and complaining.  Both are a waist of our time and energy.  Taking full responsibility can help you focus on the future, instead of the past.

"It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do." ~ John Baptiste Moliére

We also need to take responsibility for the things we did or didn't do.  I blamed someone for not being honest and keeping their word.  However, I'm the one who trusted them and ultimately let them manipulate me.  I saw the red flags, but I chose to ignore them.  I needed to accept responsibility for that before I could move on and trust someone again.

"Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will - his personal responsibility." ~ Albert Einstein

Next time when you say it's all because of...., he should have...., she shouldn't have... stop and think about the roll your played in those situations. Did you not ask questions? Did you stand up for yourself? Did you listen to gossip and make poor decisions based on fear instead of knowledge? I think most of us have.

"Whatever happens, take responsibility." ~ Anthony Robbins

When we take responsibility for the roads we went down. we can then re-focus our thoughts on the positives and lessons learned.  You will be much happier if you do!
 

Please VOTE DAILY for AWN Project FAIM [Female Autistic Insight Mentoring]

Hey folks, please vote for my friend Sharon daVanport in behalf of the Autism Women's Network's awesome idea to change America!  She wants to Host workshops across the US assisting females on the autism spectrum. ~ Created By Autism Women's Network
Online VOTING Daily Aug. 1st at 6:00am - Aug. 31st at 12:00am

★ AWN appreciates your daily support. Please vote for our Pepsi Grant Project by simply clicking on the following link and casting your VOTE daily: http://www.refresheverything.com/awn

★ VOTING for AWN Project FAIM can be done via cell phone: Text* 101500 to Pepsi (73774)

★ AWN Project FAIM [Female Autistic Insight Mentoring] Workshops will be the 1st of its kind.

★ We plan to set up 5 Project FAIM Workshops across the USA which will focus on qualities specific to females on the autism spectrum. Topics will include: peer supports, adolescence, adult life, relationships, vulnerabilities, and successful communications.

★ Project FAIM Workshops will include active supports and information for everyone (autistics, parents, educators, etc.)

The participants will meet renowned autistic females whereby gaining valuable insight.

★ We will secure the Autism Women's Network non-profit status so we can continue to provide Community Events, online Forum support & E-Mentoring as well as our AWN Radio Show.

★ AWN appreciates your daily support. Please vote for our Pepsi Grant Project by simply clicking on the following link and casting your VOTE daily: http://www.refresheverything.com/awn

 

Please Vote Today!