I know that I would, and have at times, fought for my sons with all my heart and energy. Never brushing things off or waiting for someone else to do what needs to be done. I would fight for my boys, no matter what.
But what about ourselves? Do we fight for those things, for our own selves? Even more importantly, do we stand up for ourselves in the same way, with the determination and passion that we have when it's for our children? Why is it harder to take care of ourselves and get what we need, including respect.
In my own case, no I don't. In fact I let way too much slide. I try to get along and be friends with everyone, if at all possible. However in the last 6 months or so, I've been extremely stressed in a particular area of my life where I've decided I don't want to be friends with some people. Even more so in the last few weeks. It's been a very stressful!
I had been debating about what to do in this situation for a long time. Deep down waiting for someone else to stand up for me, I think. Understandably, no one wanted to do more than tell me that I was in the right. I few people offered to make a phone call or send an email in my defence; but didn't.
Finally, with the advice of someone I trust and who knows these situations, I did what I needed to do. I made some appointments. I explained my situation and first hand experiences. I talked from my heart and stayed with the facts; instead of pushing blame or making excuses. I think I explained things very well.
Last week I took a stand and stood up for myself. It was very empowering! I don't know if I've ever felt this good about myself ever. After everything I do for my youngest son, no one could believe I wouldn't automatically do those same things for myself. But until this week, I hadn't very often. Maybe because I have to fight for what Brandon needs, that I don't take the time or energy for myself. I'm so glad that I've changed.
This growing experience has been exactly what I needed for the next phase of my like, or incredible journey as I like to think it will be. Yes, I know it will be!
http://velvetoversteel.blogspot.com/2010/05/standing-up-for-ourselves.html
Excellentttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!! i am PROUD of you!!
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome Coreen! Truly I know how you feel...and I am very proud of you, you are an inspiration to many out here!
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best of luck,
ReplyDeleteIt is all to easy when helping someone else
to lose track of yourself....I know from expereience.
Take care.
Yvonne.
excellent...we have to do that because no one else will...so glad you did...
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to stand up for ones self!! I don't know why it is that way either?! And I too am proud of you. That took an extra dose of courage and strength. Woot!!! Woot!!
ReplyDeleteHugging you
SueAnn
It is so true that sometimes it is easier to stand up for another person then to stand up for yourself. With our Lord's help He will keep you on the right track. I'm praying for you. God's blessings, Lloyd
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's complete love that makes you do selfless things, as sticking up for your children and not thinking about yourself first. For instance, a mother's first instinct when in a dire situation is to protect their children. In 'harm's way', a mother will always and automatically hover over her child to protect them from any harm. It's a mother's instinct, but yet I'm glad that you found the ability to also be aware of your own needs too! You seem like a very generous and giving soul. :)
ReplyDeleteWow! Good for you! I think that standing up for ourselves can be very difficult because we don't want to make a situation worse and it isn't always clear if standing up for ourself will make the situation worse or better. At least, that's how I feel. But sometimes, it is GOOD to stand up for yourself. And I think, probably more often than not there is a good way to do it. You are worth standing up for yourself!
ReplyDeleteThat's so cool! I have such a hard time standing up for myself. But when you do, you just feel so much better!! It's something I strive to get better at.
ReplyDeletewe need to stand up for our kids, its in our nature :)
ReplyDeleteGood for you!!!
ReplyDeleteIt can be so easy to do things for ourselves sometimes, including standing up for ourselves. It's easy to say we're going to do something but can be very different in reality. I'm really proud of you!
Oops, I meant to say it can be difficult to do things for ourselves sometimes!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you found the strength to stick up for yourself! What is it with we women that we have such a hard time protecting ourselves?
ReplyDeleteI finally found my voice a few years ago and now I say what I mean but I do not say it mean. It does get easier!
Thanks for stopping by earlier! You are my 400th follower...yeah! Who ne when I started blogging a year ago that I would ever have this many followers! I was so happy to reach 10;)!
ReplyDeleteI have met the most wonderful ladies in this crazy venture...I love it!
Thanks for following me!
Cathy
Good for you, and I agree it is harder to stand up for yourself than for you children.
ReplyDeleteI have some awards for you. Please stop by.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.myperfectlittleworldblog.com/
What a great thing you have learned. You learned to be assertive. Before you stood up for yourself you were passive. Let others get by with things you wish you could have stood up but didn't to avoid a clash. Forcefully defending yourself and calling people out for things they say is aggressive. I think that's why many people don't say anything because they don't want to be seen as arrogant or defensive. What you learned was assertiveness. A person can stand up for themselves in a way the doesn't put down the other person, but allows you to say what you need to say. Many people never find that balance. You did. That's awesome.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad, but true, that many people will not respect us until they see we respect ourselves. One way they read that - when we stand up for ourselves. I've seen that happen so many times, from teenagers to adults. Good job!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! Sometimes we have to be our own best friends and demand to heard and to have respect. Great job sister-friend, great job!
ReplyDeleteGood for you. You should always stand up for yourself and your children. My son to has Asperger Syndrom and ADHD and so i constantly have to stand up for his right s and his actions with others. I just wanted to tell you im Following you form FF.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things we always do is tend to put our needs last. We are so used to being the giving one that we forget that we are entitled to be respected by those around us. I am glad that you are standing up for yourself. You go girl.
ReplyDelete