Control vs. Trust - Define your Relationship

In my past, I was married to someone who was very controlling and manipulative.  I tried to understand them, help them, even tried to change them.  But it was a losing battle for many reasons. 

We both had many issues from our childhood's that effected our adult relationships.   I was the weaker one, with low self-esteem.  He was the stronger one with lots of 'trust' issues.  Or lack of trust, so he tried to make up for that with the same abusive tactics that he was raised with.  He demanded his version of respect with manipulation, fear and even force. 

He used the fear that I couldn't take care of my children financially, without him.  He made horrible threats that I don't even want to put into writing at this time.  Too horrendous to even imagine if you weren't there and lived through it.  Which I am grateful and even amazed that I did.  Looking back, it had to be my faith in God and the love for my children that got me through those years. 

Trust has been a Hugh issue for me, from many past relationships all the way back to my childhood.  I was way too trusting and naive most of my life.  Always focusing on the good and ignoring the bad, until it almost took my soul and nearly my life.  It has taken me 5 years to trust my own heart and intuition again.  A long road to a better me and well worth the travel to get here.  I can now see all the needed steps to the life lessons and personal growth I've experienced. 

Now that I'm at this point in my growth, about 2/3 to where I am going to be in the end, I can see and even feel what other people are going through.  At least people I care about and feel connected to for one reason or another.  I worry about them and want to help them.  Even if it's just by understanding what they are going through or being here for them if and when they need a friend, an ear, a hug or all three. 

I would not have made it through all the trials in my life without friends I could trust in my life.  No way!  They were amazing and genuinely cared about me.  They didn't judge, lecture or want anything in return.  They just wanted to help because that is how true friendship should be.  This is the type of friend we should all strive to be.

Below is an article I came across during a search on the subject of controlling relationships and trust.  I thought it was worth sharing.  Some may not 'believe' in the website, I am open minded and believe in the quality of the articles I read here.  To each their own and I would never tell someone else not to believe in something that they feel has helped or guided their own journey and believe in. :-)   If this post and the article can help even one person this weekend; then it was worth the time to write it.  Love and Hope to All of my friends!  ~ Coreen 

Control vs. Trust - Define your love              

Another Great Article is:  Building Trust in Relationships - Relationship Problems on Control

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