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"Fill your mind with light, happiness, hope, feelings of security and strength, and soon your life will reflect these qualities." ~Unknown

Email me anytime: coreen.velvetoversteel@gmail.com

"The Greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance!" ~Brian Tracy

All post and stories are the sole property of Velvet Over Steel aka Coreen Trost. I write and create post in order to help others, so share as you want. I just ask that you link back or give VOS credit. Some of the stories are going into a book in progress. Thank You ALL.. for your support and help!!
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." ~ John Quincy Adams

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

What does 'Love' mean to you?

‎"The world is a great mirror.  It reflects back to you what you are.  If you are loving, if you are friendly, if you are helpful, the world will prove loving and friendly and helpful to you.  The world is what you are." - Thomas Dreier


Love is the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.

 In philosophical context, love is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection. In religious context, love is not just a virtue, but the basis for all being ("God is love"), and the foundation for all divine law, which most refer to as the Golden Rule.

What does 'Love' mean to you? Here's what it means to me.

First of all, love is Not about you! Did that take you back? Well, it's true! Look at the love that 'most' parents have for their child or children at the moment they are born. When they are totally helpless and can't give anything back... we love that child the moment we see or hold them in our arms. I think this is the purest form of Unconditional love without any thought of ourselves!

"Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of the loved one's qualities or actions. The paradigm of unconditional love is a mother's love for her newborn."

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself." ~ Jean Anouilh

Loving someone only when you get your way or the other person does what you want them to do..... is not unconditional love and certainly not true Love. Accepting them, a child or an adult in your life for who they are; believing in them and supporting them in their dreams and the desires of their heart... is truly Loving them.

Love is to me an overwhelming feeling of warmth, care, kindness, courtesy, generosity, compassion and concern for another persons happiness, safety and well being. Whether that be a child, a spouse, a partner or a friend!

Love is not being selfish or self serving. To me it is the complete opposite infact. It also is not controlling, doing things for manipulation or reacting with anger or violence. Which includes name calling or verbal abuse... no matter what the excuse. These are not ways you treat someone you Love, let alone show your love for them.

When you 'truly' love someone, you want them to be happy. No matter whom that is with or where they go to be happy. From the child wanting to be in the band at school, instead of playing football, and their parents accepting that. To the parent who allows and accept their son or daughter's career or college decision.

I've known young people who got 'disowned' for joining the military after high school. How sad that is?! No matter what their reason for joining, they are doing what they either feel is right or because they feel it is the best way to get training, job experience and or an education. They are making the biggest and bravest decision of their life and deserve not only respect but the love and support of their family and friends.... at the very least!

I've known people who could not do anything to make their parents proud and receive the loving support they so wanted, needed and deserved. All they ever heard was that their grades could have been better, sport performance better, career choice better... the list went on and on. They never felt loved, not even by their own parents. How very sad!

I personally have the example of my middle son moving to Chicago for a great job 2 years ago. It was hard to see him leave and I still miss him a lot. But he is Happy there, so I'm very happy for him and proud of the fact that he took that leap of faith and works so hard toward his goals and Happiness! That is what's important!

My oldest son is in Texas right now working a clinical rotation. He told me last week he likes it there and will be applying for a few jobs in the area after graduation. Again, he is Happy and sees opportunities there... so I am happy for him and will survive the long distance and missing him.. knowing he is going to be Happy. That's what love is all about!  Wanting the other person to be Happy!

On the other hand, I've had friends who have made decisions based on reasons other than career goals or personal happiness. Out of overwhelming responsibilities or family problems and even guilt. In those situations it has been very hard for me to be happy for them or at peace with their decision.

No matter if it's a family member or a friend, I know it's really none of my business. However I have cared for these people and feel sadness for each of these situations just the same. If I thought they were happy or could be happy in their move or decision, then I of course would be happy for them also. So I pray for them to find happiness... No matter where that happiness is for them or no matter who that happiness is with. To me that is True Love...!

"Love means making the other person happy, even from a distance." -Submitted by Middream

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant or rude;
does not act unbecoming and is not selfish;
is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness or evil, but rejoices with the truth;  it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
"Love never fails...But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is Love."~1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13

For a great book on communicating love to someone practically, try the best book I know on that subject The Five Love Languages by Gary Smalley    Below, he gives this simple explanation of this famous Bible passage and quotes and is not meant to be a technical commentary.

Love is patient,

True love is unconditional, that is, it does not depend on the attributes or lack there of the person loved, therefore, it is willing to give as much time necessary, and as much space as necessary for that person to grow.

love is kind and is not jealous;

Love seeks to give others something of benefit for their welfare, and consequently, rejoices when they do benefit.

love does not brag and is not arrogant;

To lift one's self up in reference to others leaves no room for unconditional, graceful love.

does not act unbecoming and is not selfish;

To act inappropriately, shamefully (morally, especially in the area of sexual purity) is not in accordance with true love. Love never seeks it's own gratification but rather the interests of others.

is not provoked,

Selfishness seeks to manipulate others by stimulating certain selfish emotions. Love will not do this to others, nor will it let it happen to itself.

does not take into account a wrong suffered,

Forgiveness. Let it go. Bitterness is the acid. You are the container. Get rid of it or it will kill you.

does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

Love does not somehow gloss over things that are going to be hurtful. True love originates from the truth.

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

If love really is unconditional, it will hold any weight, face any doubt, persist through hopelessness, and last any trial

Love never fails...

If it did, would it be love?

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Someday, faith will not be needed, for we will see God. Hope will not be needed, for when everything is fulfilled, there is no need for hope. But love, yes, to it there will be no end. If it did, it wouldn't be love.

~ The Five Love Languages books series by Gary Smalley


One last note:
A smile - is a sign of joy.
A hug - is a sign of love.
A laugh - is a sign of happiness.

And a friend like you??
Well...that's just a sign of good taste!!

Love you all more than you know!
~ Coreen

20 comments:

  1. Hi Coreen, I love your post this morning.... We ALL need and yearn for LOVE in our lives. I have the love of my parents and my sons... But it's different from the love of your spouse. I was married to a man for 20 yrs--and truly, there wasn't much love. Then at age 59, I met George. Holy Cow!!!! Is this what love really is???? I've never experienced this kind of real love before. The 'give and take' is unbelievable... The communication is great.. The friendship is marvelous..... I could go on and on and on... I finally --at age 59--found LOVE..... I am very very blessed.

    Have a wonderful week.
    Hugs,
    Betsy

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  2. What an awesome story, Betsy! You deserve to be loved that way! So happy for you!! :-)
    Big Hug,
    Coreen

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  3. beautiful!! your last line left me grinning!!! you are such a loving person, one needs to have so much courage ... and you sure do have oodles of it .... may the sunshine fill your inner being and may you get all the best out of life..

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  4. Great post on love. Hi! I am a new follower from Tuesday's blog hops. I am looking forward to reading more of your blog. Blessings...
    Saved By Love Creations

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  5. This is such a good one.

    Which reminds me I need to read The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis again.

    Corinthians says it perfectly.

    Love is for me, the hardest thing to do purely and the easiest thing.

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  6. I love this post. I didn't know the meaning of love, the true meaning until I met the man who is the true meaning of the word last year. I knew that is what love should be, and wanted it to be, but never could quite get in my grasp as far as shown back to me. Now I have someone who appreciates me and love is so much sweeter...

    Evelyn
    http://adventureofsuperspice.com

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  7. What a gorgeous post! I couldn't agree more. Happy Tuesday doll!

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  8. I must be crazy, i thought i left a comment. anyway, this is a great post. love for someone canbe happy/sad. to give of yourself with no motive in mind. to be there with this person and feel their hurts feel their joys. that's beautiful. thanks for your comment on my post re horses. we love animals and it was difficult not to do something. have a good evening. rose

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  9. I honestly needed this today Coreen. I was not feeling very loving...in fact I was ugly today:) Tomorrow is a new day, and this one will be behind. I will say this much I did not hurt anyone's feelings with it, although I could have. Thank you for this.

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  10. I love 1 Corinthians 13! sandie♥

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  11. A wonderful post. The older I get, the more I seem to love. My life, kids, husband.

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  12. New follower from Follow Me Back Tuesday! Would love you to stop by and follow me back at To Spend Or Save. http://tospendorsave.blogspot.com

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  13. Thank you for sharing dear one. This is an area I struggle with now. But, I am slowly regaining what was taken from me and that is the love and joy. Blessings.

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  14. Coreen! What a wonderful way to start my day...with this heartfelt post!
    Thanks girl!
    Jill

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  15. Such a beautiful post ~ it feels like a warm hug. Thank you Coreen!
    xo Catherine

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  16. Thank you for sharing this wonderul post!!

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  17. Great post on love.

    By experience, I've learned that love is letting go. Being a mother now, I've learned even more how true that is.

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  18. What a beautiful post and perfect picture of love!!! I'm sure EVERYONE one of your readers love this!!! I know I do!!! Hooray for love...Hooray for you!! ~Janine XO

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  19. Girl you've quoted my favorite verses in the Bible. I've always said without love all else is useless.

    So many different kinds of love. The experts in physiology will tell you love is how a person makes you feel about yourself. I don't agree with that, I too believe it is about the other person. We love and want what is best for them. We get up in the morning and ask our spouse what can I do to make your day better. We let go of our children and let them live the life intended. We love the Lord God with all our being.

    What a wonderful post sweetie!!!

    Ya'll have a magnificently blessed and beautiful 'fall' day!!! :o)

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  20. My Dearest Coreen,

    This post is absolutely beautiful. It's sooo amazingly put together!! I am impressed!

    This person you love so deeply is the luckiest guy alive! Hope he knows that already!! I'm going to send prayers his way. Hope he has plenty of peace in his heart soon enough! :) :)

    I love love love this line- "Forgiveness. Let it go. Bitterness is the acid. You are the container. Get rid of it or it will kill you." You're a charmer! I'm beaming just to read this!

    Coreen, you've warmed my heart today in the truest sense of the word.

    p.s. know that I love you too! Hugs.

    p.p.s. will wait for the guy to come to you on bended knee! ;)

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