Facing our fears to move Forward

"Sometimes you can't move forward until you come face to face with the fears that have been holding you back."~Me

coryreese.blogspot.com

My greatest weakness in life has been the ability to stand up for myself.  It's been pointed out to me time and again that it's because no one ever stood up for me as a child.  That is when children are suppose to learn that vital skill by watching adults stand up, even fight for them.  That would explain why it's always been difficult for me and why I would rather be the peacemaker than the fighter.

After feeling suppressed and even trapped at times, I needed to leave my comfort zone in order to get to a better place both physically and emotionally.  Being pushed to overcome fears in order to stand up for myself and move forward.  Fears of consequences, making the wrong decisions, steep learning curves and even security.

I can clearly see now where facing each of those fears has been the best for me every step, every time.  
I shut the door on people and environments that were not good for me; opened up opportunities; gained more job skills; and stood up for myself more times than any other period in my life.

In every situation where I face a fear and put myself in a new situation or environment, I meet amazing people that inspire me to find my voice more and more while fighting for what I believe in.  I've formed new relationships with people that have the same values, morals or beliefs that I do.  Those with the integrity and character that I strive for and want to associate with.

There have been no regrets when looking back this past year.  I believe I needed each experience, situation, person and lesson to be where I am right now.  Every fear I face leads me to opportunities to use my voice to fight for what I believe in.  Facing our fears does move us forward!

"It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hid them; more strength to relate to people than to dominate them; more integrity to have thought-out principles rather than blind reflex; more character to do what's right than to follow the crowd."

Attitude and Conflict

We see conflict everywhere; on the news, in the work place, and unfortunately in our homes sometimes. We see people deal with conflict badly and admire people who handle conflict resolution in a calm rational manner.

Conflict is described as a disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, interests or concerns.  So a conflict is really a personal perception of what is important to an individual.  A person's point of view based on their own interest, values or needs.  That explains why some conflicts are so passionate and even heated at times.

How we handle those times of conflict has a lot to do with our attitude.  If we really want to find a resolution.  If we really care about the situation or the people involved.  Or do we just want to fight because we are so unhappy and don't care about the consequences and the damage we cause.

"Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude."-William James

I totally agree with this quote. I personally spent way too many years with someone who wanted to fight and had to be right no matter what. I was the peace keeper who just wanted 'calm' in my home and life. I could go the rest of my life without ever fighting or arguing again. Probably won't happen, but I would like that.

Everyone will disagree, at least once in a while, but I see no need to fight.  I think right there is an attitude, an attitude of peace.  Of deciding not to fight, to communicate and agreeing to work things out. Anything can be discussed calmly with the right attitude.  If you truely care about the person you are having a conflict with, I think you should focus on that as much as possible.  Words can never be taken back, no matter how many times you say you're sorry.   I learned a long time ago that words can cut deeper than anything physical and I have experienced both. 

So how do you deal with conflict?  Do you think the right attitude makes a difference to the outcome?
http://velvetoversteel.blogspot.com/2010/03/attitude-and-conflict.html