Facing our fears to move Forward

"Sometimes you can't move forward until you come face to face with the fears that have been holding you back."~Me

coryreese.blogspot.com

My greatest weakness in life has been the ability to stand up for myself.  It's been pointed out to me time and again that it's because no one ever stood up for me as a child.  That is when children are suppose to learn that vital skill by watching adults stand up, even fight for them.  That would explain why it's always been difficult for me and why I would rather be the peacemaker than the fighter.

After feeling suppressed and even trapped at times, I needed to leave my comfort zone in order to get to a better place both physically and emotionally.  Being pushed to overcome fears in order to stand up for myself and move forward.  Fears of consequences, making the wrong decisions, steep learning curves and even security.

I can clearly see now where facing each of those fears has been the best for me every step, every time.  
I shut the door on people and environments that were not good for me; opened up opportunities; gained more job skills; and stood up for myself more times than any other period in my life.

In every situation where I face a fear and put myself in a new situation or environment, I meet amazing people that inspire me to find my voice more and more while fighting for what I believe in.  I've formed new relationships with people that have the same values, morals or beliefs that I do.  Those with the integrity and character that I strive for and want to associate with.

There have been no regrets when looking back this past year.  I believe I needed each experience, situation, person and lesson to be where I am right now.  Every fear I face leads me to opportunities to use my voice to fight for what I believe in.  Facing our fears does move us forward!

"It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hid them; more strength to relate to people than to dominate them; more integrity to have thought-out principles rather than blind reflex; more character to do what's right than to follow the crowd."

Liberate from our Fear

"When you're in fear, you can't grow,you can't expand, you can't relax, you can't create...  It's quite paralyzing.  Living in fear is essentially toxic to our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being and growth."~Katie Freiling

The more I watch the people around me and their relationships, the more I notice that most peoples' actions and reactions, are 'triggered' by the same emotion each time...FEAR.  

"Fear is only as deep as the mind allows."~Japanese Proverb

Fear of losing something or someone; Fear of financial struggles; Fear of being alone; Fear of not having Control of a situation or relationship.... and FEAR Fuels More FEAR...over and over again.

"Nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood."~Marie Curie 

So many times in all our lives, we react or make chooses.... out of FEAR of something happening or not happening.  Not out of stupidity or ignorance... but usually rash or poor decision are the result of FEAR.

"As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."~Nelson Mandela

In my own life, I now see why I made the poor decisions I have.  Granted, I've been naive, too trusting, and even told 'too nice' many times by my friends... however my worst decisions or reactions have by far been made out of FEAR of something.   

“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”~Marianne Williamson

Even recently I realize that the stress I've experienced in the last 10 months; have been fueled by Fear.  That the jobs I turned down... were from Fear of the unknown.  Not having All the answers or knowing Exactly what to expect from those jobs, cause be to focus on the uncertainties instead of the Possibilities.

"Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out."~Karl Augustus Menninger

In recent years, I've stayed in jobs that caused overwhelming stress or were I was unfulfilled... much longer than I wanted to.  I stayed out of Fear of 'what ifs' and the unknown at another position somewhere else.  Until... I made a conscious decision stopped letting Fear control my decisions or chooses in my own life.  I may slip at times and I may not have all the answers; however I do know that letting Fear be a deciding factor... is not the way to live a happy and fulfilling life.   Which is what I'm sure is what we all want... now is't it?!  ;-)

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-filler.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fears.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past,
I will turn the inner eye to see it's path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
~Frank Herbert

7 Keys from Liberating yourself from Fear

Facing Our Fears

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“Each time we face our fears, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” ~www.thinkexist.com

sethbarnes.com

"Acknowledging and overcoming fear are important to personal growth. Fear is one of the basic emotions. Some say that fear and love, its opposite, are the only real emotions. Fear is a contracting emotion. When we feel it we draw into ourselves. If we give in to it or allow it to take over we limit our range of possibilities, we become less than we really are. It is one of the barriers to personal growth." ~www.personal-growth-poetry.com

So many times in my life I have allowed 'fear' to keep me in situations that were not good for me.  Fear of retaliation; Fear of being alone; Fear of what others' think; Fears for my children; and the most popular fear most of us have... the 'Fear of Change'.

Each and every time though, once I faced a fear and got the strength to take the first step in what was usually a major change in my life, I gained confidence and became stronger and stronger with each of the next steps.   Finally realizing the 'process' has helped me to 'take action' sooner, rather than later in the last few years. 

"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood."~ Marie Curie

Fear of changes and the unknown are the primary characteristics of Asperger Syndrome.  In fact, those fears can and usually control the lives of someone with Aspergers.

Using what I learned, has allowed me to help my son overcome and deal with his fears, and the anxiety that goes with as well.  Most people don't even know he has A.S. anymore, because he has faced his fears and learned to deal with them also. 

What a 'major change' in both our lives!   

"The fears you don’t face control you. The fears you face, you move beyond." ~Dr. Wayne Dyer