Facing our fears to move Forward

"Sometimes you can't move forward until you come face to face with the fears that have been holding you back."~Me

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My greatest weakness in life has been the ability to stand up for myself.  It's been pointed out to me time and again that it's because no one ever stood up for me as a child.  That is when children are suppose to learn that vital skill by watching adults stand up, even fight for them.  That would explain why it's always been difficult for me and why I would rather be the peacemaker than the fighter.

After feeling suppressed and even trapped at times, I needed to leave my comfort zone in order to get to a better place both physically and emotionally.  Being pushed to overcome fears in order to stand up for myself and move forward.  Fears of consequences, making the wrong decisions, steep learning curves and even security.

I can clearly see now where facing each of those fears has been the best for me every step, every time.  
I shut the door on people and environments that were not good for me; opened up opportunities; gained more job skills; and stood up for myself more times than any other period in my life.

In every situation where I face a fear and put myself in a new situation or environment, I meet amazing people that inspire me to find my voice more and more while fighting for what I believe in.  I've formed new relationships with people that have the same values, morals or beliefs that I do.  Those with the integrity and character that I strive for and want to associate with.

There have been no regrets when looking back this past year.  I believe I needed each experience, situation, person and lesson to be where I am right now.  Every fear I face leads me to opportunities to use my voice to fight for what I believe in.  Facing our fears does move us forward!

"It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hid them; more strength to relate to people than to dominate them; more integrity to have thought-out principles rather than blind reflex; more character to do what's right than to follow the crowd."

What is Inspiration to You...

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"The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be." ~Horace Bushnell

http://www.inspirationline.com/features.htm



Inspiration is an inspiring or animating action or influence; something inspired, as an idea; a result of inspired activity; a thing, place, scene or a person that inspires us.   

Inspiration can be like a stimulation or arousal of the mind, feelings, etc, to a special or unusual activity of creativity... such as drawing, painting or writing.

“Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity.” ~ Bo Bennett

I know I could not write without inspiration.  That is why sometimes I write several post one week and only one or two the next.  It depends on my 'inspiriation' more than anything else... although time does influence how often I can be on-line. 

Some of my post are first hand-written on the back of a receipt or any paper in my purse.  Because an 'inspiration' or idea has come to mind or literally 'hit' me.  Usually I write what my 'intuition' tells me to, a personal experience or something I just witnessed.

I can not just start writing or typing, making things up as I go.  I personally need to be inspired, listening to  my intuition, gut or whatever one wants to call it.  When I'm in that 'Inspiration Zone' if you will... I have to write about it right then.  I feel that this is when I write my most powerful post. 

How about you my blogging friends?  I'm sure most of you all write from 'inspiration' as well.  Do you have to be 'inspired' in order to write?  Who or what inspires you?  How soon do you need to start writing?

"My inspiration lies in making myself the best person I can be." ~Aras Baskauskas

We all have Choices...

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We all have free will, so we all have at least 2 paths or choices in our life in any given situation.  Whether minor or Life Changing.  When the people we are trying to help keep choosing paths that are not good for them and won't bring them happiness; what should we do?

I have a friend who keeps saying they want to be happy.  Then just when I think they are following their hearts and allowing them self to be happy, they suddenly get pulled back into unhealthy and unhappy situations again and again... going down the path that everyone including them, knows won't bring them happiness.  It's very frustrating and heartbreaking to see this happen... and it happens every single time. 

So what can a friend do?  I understand what this friend is going through, because I've been there.  However, I didn't have a support system or the knowledge that I have now.  My self-esteem was also very low back then.  This person is very intelligent, can support them self, has support and in the end... I think knows better.  But they keep going back for more unhappiness and even abuse... out of guilt and unhealthy misplaced loyalty. 

This certainly isn't the first time I've been in this situation as a friend.  In fact, this is the 4th time in 6 years that I have tried to 'save' a friend.  Every other time I was told one thing... that they wanted help or that I was helping them.  Only to discover through my own misfortune, that they were just using my friendship for strength to get them through.  That they had no real desire to change or change their situation. 

I thought each time of course that I was being a good friend, and I was.  However, I also thought/believed each time that the lop-sided friendship of my giving and them taking, would balance out once they took care of their situation.  Whatever that was.  To get out of a bad relationship, stop drinking, being depressed, etc. etc. etc.  Only each of those times, that never happened.  I gave without getting anything back and I was left feeling empty... in fact drained and even used.  Used as a friend...  for support, comfort and strength. 

This last experience I again was being a good friend to someone who needed me.  They did!  However, when I thought I was giving them strength to change their situation.  I now feel that I was only giving them strength to endure their situation, not get out or change it.  Because they once again seem to have been pulled back in... out of guilt or fear and have chosen the path that once again won't bring them happiness.

The last time this friend called me, just to hear my voice in order to give them 'strength' and 'comfort', it really upset me.  Very upset, worried, hurt and even angry after I hung up the phone... with both myself and my friend.  With myself, because I realized the pattern of being used in a friendship.  I've been worried sick about my friend, losing sleep and caring too much once again.  Upset with my friend because they should know how worried I am, that I have a heart condition and don't need the extra stress in my life.  Yet they keep taking my support, draining my caring energy... while giving me none of those things in return.  

They used to give great support and inspiration to me.  I once felt we had a balanced relationship... but that was very early in our friendship.  Somewhere along the way I let the friendship become unbalanced.  That is my fault, because I let it.

Although I care and understand what this friend is going through, because I've been there... I can not help them.  Not really help them anyway.  Because you can't truly help someone if they are not ready, willing or able to help themselves.  At least not yet.  I continue to pray that they will someday. 

It's heartbreaking to see a friend or anyone, go through this.  But what can, or should, a friend do in these situations?   I'm now thinking long and hard about the choices I've made and wondering what path I should now choose.

When to Help and When to Walk Away
When and How to Leave Unhealthy Relationships

Love them or Leave them
Who is my Twin Flame?

Invisible Children... in the World of War.

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The 'Invisible Children' organization and movement uses film, creativity and social action to end the use of child soldiers in Joseph Kony's rebel war and restore Northern Uganda to peace and prosperity.
As quoted from their website, this is a little more about who they are and what their purpose is:

"As a non-profit we work to transform apathy into activism. By documenting the lives of those living in regions of conflict and injustice, we hope to educate and inspire individuals in the Western world to use their unique voice for change. Our media creates an opportunity for people to become part of a grassroots movement that intelligently responds to what’s happening in the world."

Invisible Children : Intro from INVISIBLE CHILDREN on Vimeo.

For more information on the organization, please visit: http://www.invisiblechildren.com/

What is your Favorite Quote?

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I love motivational and thought provoking Quotes!  I have litterally hundreds of Favorite Ones, which you all know I  add and share with most of my post.  It's been very dark and dreary here most of the past week and I am now fighting a sinus infection and recovering from a stressful month so far.  So I thought this post would Cheer me and Encourage us all! :-)

A few of my Favorite Quotes:

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

"Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."  - Charles Dickens

"People of character do the right thing, not because they think it will change the world but because they refuse to be changed by the world." - Michael Josephson

“Every morning we are born again. What we d today is what matters most.” ~ Buddah


"Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Helping people grow and achieve their dreams is the fastest route to success; both theirs and yours."  -  T. Harv Eker

These are from Mark Ford from  FFG Consulting, LLC

"Fear not that thy life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning."
- John Henry Cardinal Newman

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."- Anne Frank

Again, I love quotes and anything that can Inspire or Encourage.  So what is your Favorite Quote that can Inspire us today?

 

Happy Aloha Friday!

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Hello again!  I'm so glad it's Friday.  I'm exhausted!  I've been so busy this week.  Too busy to even visit blogs this week, work on mine or even thank my commenter's.  My Apologies!  It didn't help that the Internet has been up and down all week.  Of course it's been down when I've had a few moments.  That's the way it goes sometimes! :-)

I came across this Happy Aloha Friday post last week, and since I LOVE Hawaii... I thought I would do it again.  Remember 'Eye Girl' with 'Half Full Friday' is on hiatus for her wedding this month.  I will still include what I'm happy for this week later in this post.

If you want to join in the fun? Post your own question on your blog and leave your link at the Aloha Friday post at An Island Life. Then you can visit the other participants if you wish...It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends or see what people are thinking about this week and join in a conversation or two if you like.

Here is my question:  If you won the lottery, would you continue to work?  Why or Why Not and in what way? 

My answer:  I would work, just not my current job.  I would follow my dreams and passion with with a step by step plan to reach my goals.  Instead of waiting for the 'right time' as I need to currently.   

My dream job would be to really learn to write and present 'storyteller' style in order to encourage and inspire people.  A top priority would be helping 'Special' children who have no one to 'fight' for them.  With an extra focus on Asperger Syndrome Children and Awareness.

"Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness." - George Santayana

Now for my regular Half Full Friday followers, here is what I'm Happy for this week:

• I am very happy that my son is so excited about his second year of college starting soon.
• I am happy that it was much cooler this week and I could walk more!
• I am happy I got to go to the lake with friends again last weekend!
• I am happy that the guys are back this week at work & that students will be back on Monday.  It's been way to quite for me.
• I am happy for a small family gathering this week!
• I am very happy with 'myself' this week! :-)

"If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes." - Andrew Carnegie

Love & Hugs Always,
Coreen