Believing in Me!

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 "You are in charge of your feelings, beliefs, and actions. And you teach others how to behave toward you. While you cannot change other people, you can influence them through your own behaviors and actions. By being a living role model of what you want to receive from others, you create more of what you want in your life." ~Eric Allenbaugh

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6 years ago I was still living back home in Nebraska. I say back home like it’s far away and that's funny because it’s just the next state over. In fact it’s only an hour from where I live now. However at times, it has felt like half way around the world from a 'small town' in Iowa.

The first few years here were incredibly hard for me. I had given up my home, my friends and a job I loved, with co-workers who were like family. What was even worse, I had given up my security for another person. That was a Hugh mistake that I will never make again. I now know that someone who truly loves you, wouldn't want you to give up everything; or anything that makes you happy for that matter.

I wanted to ‘believe’ all the ‘words’ and promises; that someone really wanted to 'share' lifes ups and downs and have a 'balanced' relationship.  I even convinced myself that it was God’s plan because this person came into not only my life, but also my son’s. At a time when I felt he really needed a man in his life. So I only saw what I wanted to see and I ignored my own gut. I wanted to ‘believe’ I was doing the right thing.

Moving to Iowa has worked out extremely well for my son and that I do believe was God’s plan. However I should have thought of myself back then and planned my move more carefully. But we live and learn and I have learned so much!

I learned that no one can take care of me better than I can take care of myself. That no one has the right to be manipulative and controlling; no matter what they’ve been through or how much they think you owe them. I have learned that I am stronger, smarter and braver than I ever imagined. I didn’t need anyone to help me with my son; I could do it on my own all along. I just needed to ‘believe’ in ME. 

"Self-confidence and a belief in yourself is a must. To instill confidence in others, you first must have confidence in yourself." ~Byron & Catherine Pulsifer, from Good-bye Manager, Hello Coach!

I want to say a special thank you to Shanae, @ Triumph and Tears for entering one of my previous post in her Contest.  Visit her Great blog when you can. :-)