Social Justice, Autism, Society and Acceptance: With a Little Politics Thrown In- OK Alot of Politics by Elise Butowsky

One of the most wonderful mothers and advocates for Asperger awareness and our childrens' rights, has a blog called Raising Asperger's Kids.  She has written another great article Social Justice, Autism, Society and Acceptance: With a Little Politics Thrown In- OK Alot of Politics  that I wanted to share with all of my followers too.  Thank you, Elise for letting me do another 'shout out'!  You are Amazing!!
 

Children needed to bake cookies!! :)

I get up early on Saturday's to go to the post office before they close. They are only open from 8-9am in small towns. Then I usually run additional errands to feel productive, even if I don't accomplish much else the rest of the day. It is Saturday and my day off after all. :-)

Today had to run to the pharmacy for some cold medicine. While I was there I saws the most adorable cookie cutter set. So I had to get it, even though I don't have small children of my own around... right now anyway. Children are always welcome in this house. We love kids!

Of course I have containers FULL of cookie cutters from when my own boys were young and from when I had a home daycare. I collected every cutter and stencil I could find back then. The kids would use trace for drawing. I had, and still have, even more for use with play dough. I had the best play dough accessory collection of any daycare provider!

Oh, but the cookie cutters have so improved since then. So today when I saw the ‘new and improved’ cookie cutter/stencils of the future, I just couldn’t resist! I just knew I had to buy them!

So now I need some children to borrow, please! For a little while, just long enough to make some cookies and draw some pretty pictures, with glitter of course. Because these new and improved cookie cutter/stencils have ‘glitter’ edges for less mess, so the box says. LOL

Should Unhappy Parents stay together for their Children? I say No...

My childhood was full of fighting, yelling, name calling and constant turmoil.  My parents were polar opposites who should have never been married, let alone stayed together 'for the kids'.  My dad was a good provider and a kind man, but he had a 'weekend' drinking problem sometimes.  My mother was just very unhappy, and that's what I remember most about her growing up.  At the time I didn't understand why she was so unhappy, but now I do.  I wish my parents had gotten divorced and been happy.

There has always been a Hugh debate on whether parents should stay together for their children.   

A recent on-line discussion at Fluther.com Should a couple ever stay together for the kids? has dozens of people giving their opinions and own stories. Few seem to feel that parents should stay together and most stories tell of unhappy childhoods and relationship problems later as a result.

Another website with opposite stories and opinions, is on the Daily Mail Do parents who stay together cause their children more harm? I wish my parents had divorced. I can totally relate to the first story and although the second author has a positive twist, I still don't feel she was better off.

I know many people who have experienced the damage themselves, as either children raised in unhappy homes or as parents who have experienced living in an unhappy marriage. I personally have experienced both. It's a cycle I finally broke and thankfully learned from.

Unfortunately many couples stay together for money reasons above all else. While money concerns are real, all the money in the world cannot make up for lack of 'peace' in a home.

I personally feel that unhappy parents should not stay together for their children. It's a proven fact that children who either hear verbal fighting and/or see physical fighting; have significant emotional and psychological damage; effecting many aspects in their life; especially their future relationships.

In my own personal experience, it caused much more damage than good. My parents stayed together because of money, and the effects on my self-esteem and relationship issues were horrific.  As an adult, I ended up in several controlling, abusive and dysfunctional relationships.  It took me a long time to overcome the anxiety and negative influences of seeing, hearing and experiencing the drama and even traumatic experiences that I was taught as a child, were normal and OK.

I now realize that people in these situations want to 'believe' those things, because the don't see a way out and justifying, making excuses and believing what they choose to, is one way they 'cope' and get through each day.

I remember after my own divorce, the feeling of 'calm' in the house and how my sons were more relaxed and happier.  My only regret was not giving my children a 'peaceful' home sooner than I did, because even 8 years later, I can still see the negative effects of exposing them to the drama they heard and saw for far too long.  I regret that more than anything else in my life.

More on this subject:
Staying for the kids sake
Can Unhappy Parents Raise Happy Children?
Together for the kids
Living a Lie

The Narcissistic Co-dependent Marriage/Relationship Symptoms