Hoping that Autism Awareness brings Compassion and Understanding

April is Autism Awareness month and this link Raising Autism Awareness gives lot of information.  My personal hope, from personal experiences raising a child with a diagnosis in the Autism Spectrum, is that autism awareness will give people the information they need to be more compassionate and understanding to both those with autism and those caring for them.

A blogging friend of mine and fellow Asperger parent has an awesome blog that feeds to mine. She recently responded to another blogger who, along with some of her followers, made fun of an autistic child and criticized the parenting of her caregiver.  My friend wrote an appropriate and informative response:  Snarky Ignorance and Autism Awareness.   I could not have responded any better.

Elise wrote what I have felt and experienced many times while raising my youngest son who has Asperger Syndrome.  Long before he had a correct diagnosis, and even afterwards, I experienced enormous criticism, judgement and even cruelty from people who did not know me or my son, let alone lived in my home, walked in my shoes or lived through our experiences. 

When we moved to Iowa my son and I were both hoping for a fresh start.  Unfortunately that didn't happen and we were very disappointed by that.  In fact it seemed to us that many, but not all of course, were more critical and judgemental.   They found nothing but fault with my son.  Not willing or open minded enough to understand, let alone find any compassion.  Unlike back home, where people looked at how far my son had come, instead of how far he still needed to go. 

Education wise, it was a fresh start for my son.  Even that though took time to overcome the excuses and preconceived attitudes from the previous school.  The current school would ask for records and high school credits and the previous school couldn't provide much more than attendance records.  There were no high school credits to transfer but there were lots of excuses for that and for not having given my son an education the last 3 years he was there. 

The reason my son didn't get an education at his previous school wasn't because they didn't know he had Asperger Syndrome, that answer had come 4 years eariler.  But because they refused to understand Asperger's and provide my son that understanding and the assistance his doctor recommended.  They judged both my parenting and the things he did, that he couldn't help. 

The anxiety and learning disabilities are real for these children and adults.  They do not choose to be different or even difficult.  Again Elise explains this all so well in her recent blog on Raising Asperger Kids.  I wish more people understood that we as autism  parents know what works and doesn't work for our children.  We are the ones that live with the set backs, melt downs, judgements and cruelty that our children experience.  We are doing the best that we can with what we have for our children and grandchildren. 

In many cases, such as the grandmother of the little girl in the blog post, and myself as a single parent, we are doing the best we can 'by ourselves' because others don't know how to deal with it, and have walked away.  The grandmother in the blog, should be commended for not giving up on her granddaughter and sending her away like so many adults do to these autistic children.  She is a hero in my book! 
a message for smockityfrocks