Half Full Friday! May 28, 2010

Half Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eye Girl originally started in June 2009.

We believe that a lot of our happiness is determined by our attitude about the things that happen to us. So by participating, we are deciding to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. We are choosing to concentrate on the positives, instead of dwelling on the negatives. Our Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that. They are a list of the things in our life that have brought us happiness over the past week.

"Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day." ~ Author Unknown

We are determined to find the something good in every day.  Are you?

For the next week, we challenge you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day. On Friday, write your own Half Full Friday post and return to Life As Eye See It to link your post and to see what other bloggers found happiness in during the past week.

Don't forget to grab a Half Full Friday Banner or Button for your blog post if you are going to join in:

This is my second time joining Half Full Friday and here is what I'm Happy for this week:

• I am happy that I got to talk to all 3 of my sons this week. 
• I am happy that I got to talk to one of my favorite friends this week. 
• I am happy that I finished reading 2 books for my upcoming classes, and loved them! 
• I am happy that I like my new workout video, and it isn't too hard for me. :-) 
• I am happy that I didn't have any stress this week!  (At least that I can remember...) 
• I am happy that my youngest son got all A's and B's again this semester.
• I am happy because I contiue to grow and heal every week that goes by.
• I hope everyone has a Safe and Wonderful Holiday weekend!!

Love & Hugs Always my Friends,
Coreen
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Control vs. Trust - Define your Relationship

In my past, I was married to someone who was very controlling and manipulative.  I tried to understand them, help them, even tried to change them.  But it was a losing battle for many reasons. 

We both had many issues from our childhood's that effected our adult relationships.   I was the weaker one, with low self-esteem.  He was the stronger one with lots of 'trust' issues.  Or lack of trust, so he tried to make up for that with the same abusive tactics that he was raised with.  He demanded his version of respect with manipulation, fear and even force. 

He used the fear that I couldn't take care of my children financially, without him.  He made horrible threats that I don't even want to put into writing at this time.  Too horrendous to even imagine if you weren't there and lived through it.  Which I am grateful and even amazed that I did.  Looking back, it had to be my faith in God and the love for my children that got me through those years. 

Trust has been a Hugh issue for me, from many past relationships all the way back to my childhood.  I was way too trusting and naive most of my life.  Always focusing on the good and ignoring the bad, until it almost took my soul and nearly my life.  It has taken me 5 years to trust my own heart and intuition again.  A long road to a better me and well worth the travel to get here.  I can now see all the needed steps to the life lessons and personal growth I've experienced. 

Now that I'm at this point in my growth, about 2/3 to where I am going to be in the end, I can see and even feel what other people are going through.  At least people I care about and feel connected to for one reason or another.  I worry about them and want to help them.  Even if it's just by understanding what they are going through or being here for them if and when they need a friend, an ear, a hug or all three. 

I would not have made it through all the trials in my life without friends I could trust in my life.  No way!  They were amazing and genuinely cared about me.  They didn't judge, lecture or want anything in return.  They just wanted to help because that is how true friendship should be.  This is the type of friend we should all strive to be.

Below is an article I came across during a search on the subject of controlling relationships and trust.  I thought it was worth sharing.  Some may not 'believe' in the website, I am open minded and believe in the quality of the articles I read here.  To each their own and I would never tell someone else not to believe in something that they feel has helped or guided their own journey and believe in. :-)   If this post and the article can help even one person this weekend; then it was worth the time to write it.  Love and Hope to All of my friends!  ~ Coreen 

Control vs. Trust - Define your love              

Another Great Article is:  Building Trust in Relationships - Relationship Problems on Control

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This Week's Goal to turn Passions & Dreams into Reality

Another Great Share from my friend, Mark Ford @ www.ffgroupconsulting.com

?The one thing that separates winners from losers is that winners take action.?- Tony Robbins
This Week's Goal:

You can only turn your passions and dreams into reality by setting and reaching your goals. Decide what you want, what you're going to do to get it, write it down and start doing it! Don't take it lightly, live your life "on purpose."   
 Make it a GREAT week!

Happy Monday, Everyone!  Well, from previous post most of you know that I have decided what I want:  To Help People.  I'm taking classes and training to be able to reach more people and get my message across in the most professional and polished way (hopefully). :-)  I wrote down my goals and taped them up on my desk, car visor and refrigerator.  Here is my Specific Goal for the week:  To finish reading all the material I received from the trainings I registered for next month.  To really understand all of it, or find the understanding if I need to.

So how about my blogging friends:  What are your goals for the week and what are you going to do to reach them?  :-)
 

Half Full Friday!

Half Full Friday, Explained and Sponsored by Eye Girl.

Half Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eye Girl originally started in June 2009.

I believe that a lot of my happiness is determined by my attitude about the things that happen to me. So, I am deciding to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. I am choosing to concentrate on the positives, instead of dwelling on the negatives. My Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that. They are a list of the things in my life that have brought me happiness over the past week.
"Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day." ~ Author Unknown
I'm determined to find the something good in every day.
Are you?
For the next week, I challenge you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day. On Friday, write your own Half Full Friday post and return to Life As Eye See It to link your post and to see what other bloggers found happiness in during the past week.

Don't forget to grab a Half Full Friday Banner or Button for your blog post if you are going to join in:

This is my first time joining Half Full Friday and here is what I'm Happy for this week:

I am Happy that I am friends with 'Sprinkles' and she shared this "Linky" with me.

I am Happy that I have good friends who cheered me up and supported me this week!

I am Happy that I got tickets to the Motivation Event coming to my area next month!

I am Happy that I heard from all 3 of my sons' this week and they sent 'love' my way!

I am Happy that's it's Friday and I'm not working this weekend!  So I can get a lot more done! :-)

I am Happy that I have 3 amazing Sons who are nice young men!

I am Happy that my flowers outside are blooming and bigger than any other year!  Beautiful!

I am very Happy that I have a new Real Estate Agent who is a real go getter!

I am very Happy that I have enough equity in my house to sell it soon; even in this economy!

I am Happy that I will be in Chicago in 2 short weeks to visit my middle son, Matty!

I am Happy for all the wonderful friends I have; both old, new and coming soon into my life!

I am Happy that I started blogging and writing and made fantastic new blogging friends!

If you would like to participate, go to Life as I See It.  Thank you all for Visiting me today!  Happy Friday!!!!

HUGS,
Coreen
http://velvetoversteel.blogspot.com/2010/05/half-full-friday.html

Coupon Customer Service

By Coreen Trost, Entreprenerial Center Office Manager, IWCC E-Center Iowa Biz Talk Blog

Does your business use coupons? If you do, how do you or your employees treat the customers who use them? Do you thank them for using the coupon? Or do your cashiers roll their eyes and check the expiration date like you are the biggest annoyance that had walked through their door all day.

I am a big coupon user and have many experiences with coupons. Some of these are bad experiences and they have determined if I will ever return to a business.

I recently went into a chain store type business where they have weekly ads with coupons. I like to stop by and check out the weekly specials, even if I don’t need something. I often pick up a bargain or stock up on some things that I use a lot of. Who doesn’t in this economy?

During this visit, there was already a coupon ad flyer in the hand basket that I picked up when I first walked in. I looked through the ad and quickly found something I can always stock up on. I grabbed the item and tore out the coupon while I stood in the checkout line.

The cashier was so rude! She grabbed the coupon, crumpled it and threw it in the trash while exclaiming that it was from last week. Although I had made a simple mistake, she made me feel like a thief.

This stores new coupons start on Sunday mornings and this was Wednesday afternoon. Maybe they should clean out the baskets more frequently. However more importantly, I didn’t do it on purpose. I swear I was not trying to steal $2.00 worth of sugar-free jello. Really?!

Guess what, I’m not going back to that store anytime soon. No matter how much I can save on hairspray. I can go to lots of other places for a bargain and better customer service. Those are the businesses that will get my hard earned dollars.

Weekly Motivation - Stretch your Comfort Zone

This a weekly motivation is borrowed from a friend.  Thanks Mark!

Eleanor Roosevelt said,

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

How do you handle fear? How do you handle fear of change? Do you embrace it? Are experiences that stretch you out of your comfort zone a regular part of your daily life? Or have you retreated so far into your comfort zone that you don't ever even feel fear? How must you change to develop a spirit of courage in your life?

This week...go out and do something "stretching" simply for the sake of growing your courage. It will even make you feel more "alive".

Go For It!  Have a GREAT week!

I was the shy girl in school who couldn't give a speech without shaking with fear and ending in tears if someone laughed. I have decided to learn to 'present' in order to come out of my shell once and for all. I've registered for 2 different presentation certification workshops this summer. Taking vacation from my day job and using my own money to do this for ME. This is just one of the steps I am taking to follow my dreams; like I have allowed my sons to follow theirs. Wish me luck! :-) ~ Coreen

Accountability and doing what is Right!

I don't have training in writing per say :-), but decided to start writing anyway. Mostly to gain awareness of Asperger Syndrome, children and adults on the autism spectrum. My son (and myself at times) have experienced horrible things from ignorance and preconceived notions.

I never gave up on my son and I continue to break through those walls of excuses to find support and opportunities for him.  Some people think I'm pushy and even emotional at times.  But where would he be if I didn't do all that I have?  I know he would not have graduated from high school, let alone succeeding in college. 

Every time someone rolls their eyes, talks about my son behind my back or makes excuses; it makes me push more and fight harder.  Not what some 'service providers' would have hoped for when they tried to brush me off.   My response to their criticism is that it's their JOB to provide these services and support for those who need a little help and encouragement. 

These jobs, that are paid for with our tax dollars, are not just a 'free resource'.  These are state and federally funded resources set up with the purpose of helping people become productive citizens in our society.  As opposed to a burden on our society. 

I'm not asking for favors or special treatment.  I'm asking them to do their jobs.  Jobs that again, our tax dollars pay for.  I'm also asking that they provide the services and support that the State and Federal websites clearly state are available to all who qualify.  Really?!   I've sent the link attachments along with specific questions and request to vocational rehabilitation workers, as one example, many times over the past 4 years.  With little or NO response; let alone acceptance of any responsibility to help provide the services they are suppose to.  Such as employment assistance, training and support.   Where is the accountability in these jobs and organizations?!

My son wants to work and learn to be independent.  He doesn't want a hand out or disability money.  He just wants the assistance that is suppose to be provided to encourage employers to give these young people a chance and opportunity to succeed.  Such as a job coach and training that doesn't cost the employer time or money.  Just the support both the client and employer are entitled to.  At least according to the state and government websites and documentation I've found.  Nowhere does it say that voc rehab, as just one example, will help you if they want to or if they feel the client is worth it in their personal opinion. 

Besides being accountable in these service provider organizations; Why can't people just do what is Right?  Not just do what they feel like or what they assume to be worth the effort.  I don't believe that's part of their job.  There are 'guidelines' that seem to be just 'words' on paper or a website.  Nothing more in my 20 years of experience dealing with the 'system'.  It is very frustrating, but has made me more determined! 

Recently I was told, once again, that I should just give up.  That I can't expect to count on anyone else to help my son or I.  Believe me, it would be easier.  But does that mean I should give up? No, not in my opinion.

For one I'm not ever giving up on getting my son anything and everything he deserves.  I also feel that 'giving in' to the system by giving up the fight, is one of the reasons people in these positions and organizations are not held accountable.  The frustration and bureaucracy gets to be too much for most people, so they give up.  I have seen it so many times.  I have met several mothers just like me who can't get the services and support their children need to get good employment.  A necessity to their being independent.  My heart goes out to them! 

We are not selfish people by any means.  We only want what is Best for our children.  Just like any other parent should want for their children.  Children who did not ask to be born.  Let alone be born with a disability or disadvantage of any kind.  They did nothing to deserve any of it and it is our job as parents to protect and provide for our Innocent children.  They are Innocent victims of the 'system' and our society.  Special needs parents are not pushy or unreasonable.  We are being accountable and doing what is 'right' in the 'job' we choose to take on.

I am determined to help not only my son, but all the children and young adults like him.  To give them all the opportunities and support they not only need but deserve.  It has become extremely apparent that it has to start with demanding accountability within the 'system'!

So where do I start; who do I contact now?  Where do we as parents go from here?  Advice and opinions are openly accepted and greatly appreciated!
http://velvetoversteel.blogspot.com/2010/05/accountability-and-doing-what-is-right.html

They Tore the Cross Down!

The cross was put up out of respect to the fallen soldiers.  In a  country that was founded on Freedom of Religion and the right to fight for that Freedom.  We had 'faith' in the 'system' and we all need 'faith'. 

The system finally worked and the Cross could remain where it has been for 70 years.  So the people who didn't win, took it down and stool it in the middle of the night, hiding behind 'darkness'.  Darkness in more ways than one. Such heros aren't they?  What has happened to our country?
Don't Tear the Cross Down!
Archive 2010 - Big D & Bubba

Get Back Jack fan page on facebook. Help this amazing young man reach his goals.

Jack's Interview on Fox News

Turning Anger & Frustration into Determination

I didn't grow up with much encouragement or emotional support.    I was the type of child that needed someone to believe in me.  Say I could do this or do that.  That I should go for my dream of being an architect or whatever I wanted.  That I could do anything!  However I didn't and settled for accepting what life had to offer that was right in front of me or easy to obtain.  Jobs that I was offered or seemed to come along at a convenient time.  Friends that were close by or dates with men that seemed decent and worked out with the rest of my life at the time.

In the past few years I've had a change of opinion and attitude about all of those situations.  In fact, I've finally became angry with myself for just accepting some of them.  I believe in my sons and encourage them to do whatever they need to.  To succeed, be happy, to follow their dreams.  Whether it was convenient, the cheapest school, or the closest job, didn't matter.  What was best for them is what mattered! 

My oldest son went all over the country to compete and become part of the United States Powerlifting team and compete over seas 4 times.  He later attended college in Louisiana because of the powerlifting team there and a scholarship.  It was a great experience for him and one year from now he will become a Physical Therapist.  Moving whereever is the best place for him to start his new amazing life.

My middle son moved to Chicago to follow his dream of being a graphic designer.  He has flourished there!  Made artistic friends, continued school, gotten a new job with a large company and is going to Italy and Greece this fall with his art class.  He is living his dreams and I am so happy for him!

My youngest son is my triple miracle!  He was conceived after having my tubes tied.  Survived after a car accident I was in during my pregnancy.  Survived after being 10 weeks premature and is now succeeding in college with a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome at the age of 11.  By a specialist that said he may never get better and teachers at the time that gave up on his even graduating high school.  All of them were wrong of course.  He is a Hugh success and my 'miracle' many times over!

Now to why I am angry with myself.  I'm not happy and it's no ones fault but my own.  I want a job where I can learn, flourish and grow.  But I've stayed where I'm at because it's close to where I live and it's convenient with my youngest son attending college close by.  However, I'm frustrated because I know it will never grow into what my dreams and aspirations are.   I'm also bored with my social life.  Actually frustrated with the fact that I don't make more of an effort to meet higher quality men.  I have continued to settle for what's easy and convenient in regards to the type of men who ask me out and dating in general.  Again, that's my own fault and only I can change that.

I've made a choice to put my life in a new direction.  I'm making plans and going to follow through, no matter how much effort and inconvenious it's all going to cause.   I'm unhappy and frustrated with my current situations and angry with myself for not doing something sooner.  So I've decided to use that anger and frustrated 'energy' and put it toward 'determination' in following my own dreams and asperations.  Starting today!  Because it's never too late and it's about time! :-)
 

Autism Spectrum Quarterly Magazine

Standing up for Ourselves

Many of you are very similar parents as myself in regards to standing up and fighting for our children.  No matter if they are special needs or not.  We as parents would do anything for them and want the very best  in regards to education and positive role models. 

I know that I would, and have at times, fought for my sons with all my heart and energy.  Never brushing things off or waiting for someone else to do what needs to be done.  I would fight for my boys, no matter what.

But what about ourselves?  Do we fight for those things, for our own selves?  Even more importantly, do we stand up for ourselves in the same way, with the determination and passion that we have when it's for our children?  Why is it harder to take care of ourselves and get what we need, including respect.

In my own case, no I don't.  In fact I let way too much slide.  I try to get along and be friends with everyone, if at all possible.  However in the last 6 months or so, I've been extremely stressed in a particular area of my life where I've decided I don't want to be friends with some people.  Even more so in the last few weeks.  It's been a very stressful! 

I had been debating about what to do in this situation for a long time.  Deep down waiting for someone else to stand up for me, I think.  Understandably, no one wanted to do more than tell me that I was in the right.  I few people offered to make a phone call or send an email in my defence; but didn't.

Finally, with the advice of someone I trust and who knows these situations, I did what I needed to do. I made some appointments.  I explained my situation and first hand experiences.  I talked from my heart and stayed with the facts; instead of pushing blame or making excuses.  I think I explained things very well.

Last week I took a stand and stood up for myself. It was very empowering!  I don't know if I've ever felt this good about myself ever.  After everything I do for my youngest son, no one could believe I wouldn't automatically do those same things for myself.  But until this week, I hadn't very often.  Maybe because I have to fight for what Brandon needs, that I don't take the time or energy for myself.  I'm so glad that I've changed. 

This growing experience has been exactly what I needed for the next phase of my like, or incredible journey as I like to think it will be.  Yes, I know it will be!

http://velvetoversteel.blogspot.com/2010/05/standing-up-for-ourselves.html