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All post and stories are the sole property of Velvet Over Steel aka Coreen Trost. I write and create post in order to help others, so share as you want. I just ask that you link back or give VOS credit. Some of the stories are going into a book in progress. Thank You ALL.. for your support and help!!
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." ~ John Quincy Adams

Saturday, October 30, 2010

The Real Law of Attraction... By Carmen Honacker
There are so many books promising love, success, money, fame and fortune, if we only follow the rules of these two laws. Given how much material can be found on these topics, one would think that a lot more of us would be a lot more successful. This is because all of these “proven methods” don’t mention a few things that will not only drastically change the outcome, but actually leave you in the exact same spot you found yourself in before you read the book, minus whatever money you spent on the “proven method.”

The Law of Attraction

Wouldn’t it be great if we could all find the love of our lives, our soul mate and life mate, by just following the instructions of a book? Oh, how we hope… and each time another discovery is made that tells us that this is now the real way of finding true love, because new scientific discoveries, as well as ancient truths from a magical book hidden under a rock in the Sahara desert, which carbon dated back 5,000 years ago, are definitely going to work… even for you!

The Law of Attraction does work! But what most “experts” fail to share is the minor detail that you attract who you are, and what you think of yourself! You just have to believe—and, of course, you have to know that you deserve. Just keep repeating the mantra of “I deserve.” It might actually finally get stuck… and backfire!

Why, you ask? A person with low self-esteem, a person who is negative and down on themselves, will usually not suddenly become confident by reading a book, period. Yes, everything is possible, but not by sitting on your butt and doing nothing! Changes require work, and usually hard work! So a person without a shred of confidence will usually repeat the mantra, but take it to a completely new level of extremism. This is when they start telling the whole world “darn it, I do deserve!” The previously sad rants then turn into narcissistic statements of how great they are… and how, sadly, no one recognizes it.

Meanwhile, the love they are so desperately seeking stays hidden, because now they sound like desperate and still insecure tools, versus just being downers before.

If we are broken, we will usually attract others who are broken. If we are superficial, we will attract another, who is also superficial. The whole myth of opposites attracting is true for about one minute. Usually, opposites will drive each other crazy in the long run, and do not work out. And when I mean opposite, I mean truly opposite in character and being. Not something lame like different tastes in music or food!

Attracting true happiness has to always start with oneself and the willingness to grow, which means change. I’m a firm believer in therapy, but there are other ways as well. In order to attract what truly makes you happy, you have to first learn to be happy with yourself, knowing who you are and what you really want. Only when you know these things will you know what you truly deserve, without having to blast it from the rooftops.

The Law of Abundance

The same principal listed above also applies for this law. Hence, it is pretty difficult to achieve abundance! For example, when I lost my job, it was pretty hard to sit around and say to myself “don’t worry; you have abundance in your life. You’ll find something and you won’t lose everything you own over it.” The more time that went by, the harder it was to be “positive.” But I knew that if I started panicking or appearing desperate in job interviews, I’d just make my situation worse. But this is where it came in handy that I had done at least some of the work! I did know what I was worth and who I am, even though my foundation had become a bit shaky. I simply would not accept defeat. The thought of losing my home, my car or everything simply didn’t get any power from me. Oh yes, these thoughts occurred, but I would immediately stop myself in my tracks and do something productive, like writing. For some strange reason, maybe because I grew up in such poor conditions, money has not been a source of anxiety or fear in many years. Not because I am so well off, but because I won’t give power to the fear. And while I never became rich, I always had a roof over my head (a nice one), money to pay my car, buy clothes and eat the food I want.

The thing that no one likes to hear is that the life we are living is an immediate result of who we believe we are and what we think is possible. To become this person of Zen, the person who attracts others, in business and personal life, the one with the great friends, the nice things and the happy relationship, and the one who truly feels at peace with themselves and the world, one has to be willing to pay the price. And the price is work.

But I kept my eyes on the prize, and after a while it became a little easier. I started to attract completely different people and situations. But then, I no longer see myself the same way I did a mere year ago, not to mention two or three years ago. I can’t quite describe it, because I am still the same person—and yet, I am completely different. I can do and say things now that I never thought possible. With each passing day, the “new” me is getting stronger, while the old tapes in my head are slowly being overwritten and erased.

I do believe that both laws are accurate and will work. But boy, I never thought it would take that much hard work, dedication and will power to make them happen. So here’s your secret, free of charge. It’s also called “Common Sense.”   By: Carmen Honacker   One of the best blogger/writers I know & a great new friend!
"When you live for a strong purpose, then hard work isn’t an option. It’s a necessity." ~ Steve Pavlina
"The abundant life does not come to those who have had a lot of obstacles removed from their path by others. It develops from within and is rooted in strong mental and moral fiber." - William Mather Lewis


  1. What a great post. I was just starting to feel that tiny nagging in myself telling me I do not deserve....I'm going to write now!

  2. Positive attracts, negative repels.
    I do think there is one book that covers it all. (But that's just my opinion.)

  3. nice post and very apropo...the losing of the job i can relate and felt the sting of conviction in your words...

  4. The law of attraction is interesting. think that sometimes in relationship we get what we are willing to settle for. Once upon a time I went to a lot of effort and a lot of giving to overcompensate for lack in whatever partner I was trying to have a relationship with. Once I reached the point where I was far more selfish about what I wanted and needed and really expected that I was worth getting what I wanted and worth deserving it, well, I was immediately blessed with someone who was perfect for me. I don't think it always works out so quickly, but I know that my mindset of what I wanted to attract made a huge difference.

  5. So very true, Heatherlyn! I was the exact same way before. I know that some people.. whom I knew before I 'grew' not think I am 'selfish' or that I think I’m too good to date someone I once did. Not even close to the truth... except that I am being 'true' to myself finally. I realized just how much I'd grown when I both.. stopped attracting the 'taking' type of relationships and when I stopped caring what other people thought about me... because knew how I am in my heart/soul and I finally knew and accepted what I deserve from relationships. Friends, family, dates.... all those relationships changed and are better than I ever imagined. Clue... I now can imagine and only 'accept' the types of relationships I want and deserve. :-)

    You are also correct in that some of these relationships don't always work out 'quickly' though. Sometimes there are outside circumstanced… beyond our control, that take more time to work things out for either ourselves or the person we are drawn to or destined to be with. It's a 'process' that we have little control over. However I do believe that during that 'process' we are given to opportunity to continue to learn and grow.. so that when the relationship and love of your heart and dreams does finally work out for someone.. that it will be even better than it would have been if things had worked out more quickly. Sometimes, things definitely happen for a reason! :-) ~ Coreen

  6. Interesting, because we always hear that opposites attract. Because they each fill a need in each other. But perhaps you are right, it is not for the long term. Roads without obstacles usually lead nowhere.

  7. what an interesting theory friend :)

  8. How funny you mentioned saying to yourself, "I deserve..." I used to work with a girl who used to say this ALL.THE.F'ING.TIME!!! I quickly got tired of this phrase.

    "I deserve a day off, I deserve a massage, I deserve a night out with friends, I deserve this or I deserve that." I always wanted to ask her why she thinks she deserves so much but I didn't because I had to sit next to her everyday and thought it best not to make waves.

  9. Brilliant post Coreen... beautiful take on all the principles ruling the lives of people trying to evolve from one level to another... you have so gracefully put a "real" angle to them.... beautiful!

  10. I once wrote down the qualities I like in a man. A few weeks later, I met someone and he has all the qualities I wrote. We got married six months later. I wonder if that constitutes 'Law of Attraction'.

    Now I wonder, will this - 'Law of Attraction' work for winning the lottery! I would really like that!

  11. So wish my oldest daughter would learn this!! Great post!!


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