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"Fill your mind with light, happiness, hope, feelings of security and strength, and soon your life will reflect these qualities." ~Unknown

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"The Greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance!" ~Brian Tracy

All post and stories are the sole property of Velvet Over Steel aka Coreen Trost. I write and create post in order to help others, so share as you want. I just ask that you link back or give VOS credit. Some of the stories are going into a book in progress. Thank You ALL.. for your support and help!!
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." ~ John Quincy Adams

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Honest Communication from the Heart

 "People have important things to communicate. Speaking from your heart allows the emotionally difficult, the ordinary, and the wonderful things in our lives to be communicated and received." ~ David McArthur and Bruce McArthur, from the book "The Intelligent Heart"

In the book and presentation '8 to Great', motivational speaker for positive change MK Mueller writes this to describe High-Way 5: Honest Communication.

"Once we get in touch with our emotions through High-Way 4, we’re ready to practice communicating them honestly with others in a self-responsible way. The practice of non-defensive listening and assertively asking for what we want will empower us and deepen our connection to those around us. When we risk taking responsibility rather than blaming others for them, we combine the first four High-Ways into an “inner-state” of loving joy." ~ MK Mueller
"The genius of communication is the ability to be both totally honest and totally kind at the same time." ~ John Powell

Sara Paddison, author of the book "The Hidden Power of the Heart" writes:

"Being vulnerable doesn't have to be threatening. Just have the courage to be sincere, open and honest. This opens the door to deeper communication all around. It creates self-empowerment and the kind of connections with others we all want in life. Speaking from the heart frees us from the secrets that burden us. These secrets are what make us sick or fearful. Speaking truth helps you get clarity on your real heart directives."
"We take communication for granted because we do it so frequently, but it's actually a complex process." ~ Joseph Sommerville, PhD

Doc Childre, Bruce Cryer and Howard Martin from HeartMath LLC and authors of "The HeartMath Solution" write:

"In communications that are difficult or draining, ease into the heart and find something to appreciate about the person you're dealing with, or find a feeling of compassion or kindness. This will clear your mind and give you the coherence you need to know what to say next. That's energy efficiency at work."
"Be on the lookout for strain in each other, and with compassion and understanding, lend a helping hand and a mature heart. Helping each other manage emotional strain can yield creative alternatives and build a new foundation for heart-based communication and hope." ~ Doc Childre

In the book "From Chaos to Coherence" ~ by Bruce Cryer and Doc Childre; Coherent communication is based on four key principles:

1. Achieve understanding first
2. Listen nonjudgmentally
3. Listen for the essence
4. Be authentic
"Communication sometimes is not what you first hear, listen not just to the words, but listen for the reason." ~ Catherine Pulsifer
"It is no longer enough to be smart — all the technological tools in the world add meaning and value only if they enhance our core values, the deepest part of our heart. Acquiring knowledge is no guarantee of practical, useful application. Wisdom implies a mature integration of appropriate knowledge, a seasoned ability to filter the inessential from the essential." ~ Doc Childre and Bruce Cryer, From Chaos to Coherence

"Intuition does not always appear as the ingenious breakthrough or something grandiose. Intuitive thoughts, feelings, and solutions often manifest themselves as good old common sense. Common sense is efficient." ~ Doc Childre and Bruce Cryer, From Chaos to Coherence
"Words are just words and without heart they have no meaning." ~ Chinese proverb
All of these are important to consider and think about next time you have a serious or heartfelt conversation with someone.  Whether it be a personal communication with a family member or friend.  Or a business related conversation with a boss or co-worker.  

I personally strive to use all 4 of the Key principles in my communications; both in person and in my writing.  It truly makes a difference if you communicate only with your head or if you communicate through your Heart! 

When you're looking for honest communication, think about where your conversation is coming from.  If your words are coming from your heart, the person you're talking to just may start communicating from their heart back.  What's more honest  and authentic... than two hearts communicating?
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  1. Communicating hearts...great image! I guess the only thing better would be a group of hearts communicating and beating as one :)

    Great post!
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  2. So true, Jules! I should have my middle son design something like that. Cool idea! Thanks!

  3. oo i like jules comment...nice post.

  4. Hi Coreen, The four pinciples are GREAT... Communication is so important ---and too many times, we humans don't communicate well. We get defensive and love to place blame on everything but US.

    It's important to communicate face-to-face. My best friend and I sometimes communicate through emails --and that doesn't always work well. We may say something which we mean to be one interpretation --and the other person interprets it totally different... Face-to-face is best.

    AND--when you communicate something serious, make sure the other person is willing to listen and to communicate back non-judgmentally. Too many times, communication either ends in one person shutting down and not talking at all, or it ends in a fuss....

    Communication is hard --and sometimes, it's best not to say anything IF we are still either mad or hurt over something. We need to wait until we can think rationally.... Sometimes, it's just best to let certain things go ---and not carry them on our backs forever....

    Yes---communication is hard... I have counseled with people for years and years and it's still hard...

  5. What a great post on communicating with feeling. The quotes are so wise and allows us to think deeper as it pertains to our own communication style. Oftentimes what people tell us is not what they really want to say to us. It's important to understand the non verbal communication as well.

    Thanks so much for posting on this subject, I've bookmarked it so I can refer to it later.

  6. Those are some wise words. I think most relationship problems occur when people stop communicating honestly.

  7. I love the part where being honest is not being vulnerable! This spoke to me. I've got courage! :) Feels good!! :) ;)

  8. Two hearts communicating! love that thought

  9. I think cmmunication is hard! I love the thought of being able to truly communicate out of love! And it is even harder when there is more then two talking!


  10. It's hard to spell too! communication! sandie

  11. Very important to strive to listen without judging or thinking of your response. Not easy. But important.

  12. I like the thought of Communicating hearts. I did enjoy the post , most interesting to read.


  13. great post. communication can be difficult. we need to know who the person is and what is happening. In this relationship, the heart of the communicator can be recognized by the other person. Speaking from the heart can and be the best thing we can give to someone. rose

  14. All the knowledge in the world is meaningless if we aren't kind and don't show love. Some people take a simple and beautiful concept, and wring all the life out of it by intellectualizing it!! We can be the smartest person in the world, but have nothing if we do not use our hearts. Also, most people are so bust thinking about what they are going to say next that they miss what the person is trying to tell them. They hear but they don't listen.

  15. Great post! I am always fascinated to learn something new. Communication wit hearts. Excellent. Anne

  16. Some very wise words Coreen!

    xo Catherine

  17. A fine post here. Communication with heart is a great message.

  18. Great post! It is that honesty factor that scares people. Something I will be working on for the rest of my life. Blessings.

  19. Beautiful post and all the quotes ring so true. As people, we are blessed with verbal communication and the power of words, but our soul and our heart are not always involved.
    Truly contemplative writing and so resonating within me and my own state of mind.
    Thank you so much for your recent visit and such an endearing and touching comment.
    Wishing you a lovely week,

  20. I like the idea of listening not just for the words, but for the reason. I find that especially true when listening to my kids talk.

  21. That is so true about communicating and listening. I have so much to work on here. This was good for me to read.

  22. Great post. I'll definitely have to come back frequently for the reminder. :)

  23. Beautiful and wise!!!! You are terrific!!! And this post so wonderful!!! Love, Janine XO

  24. Communicating without the heart involved, is like communicating to a stone. It is also useless to communicate with a person who are not willing to listen and weigh things. I hope those kind of people would read this great post of yours.


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