Aspiritech

Aspiritech  is a non-profit organization with a mission to solve the employment challenge of individuals with Asperger's syndrome and high functioning autism (HFA) by aligning their unique abilities with the needs of the business community.

Half Full and Aloha Friday Question...

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"Everything is material for the seed of happiness, if you look into it with inquisitiveness and curiosity. The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment. There always is the potential to create an environment of blame -- or one that is conducive to loving-kindness." ~Pema Chodron

Half Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eye Girl originally started in June 2009.  Now the it is hosted by Sprinkles at Wyldechylde.  We believe that a lot of our happiness is determined by our attitude about the things that happen to us. So by participating, we are deciding to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. We are choosing to concentrate on the positives, instead of dwelling on the negatives. Our Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that. They are a list of the things in our life that have brought us happiness over the past week. We are determined to find the something good in every day. Are you?

"Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different." ~Katherine Mansfield

For the next week, we challenge you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day.

This week I'm Happy and Thankful for:

• For the many projects I have planned in the next few weeks!! :-)

• For Google Analytics! I had forgotten it was attached to my blog, until 3 weeks ago. Best 'tool' ever!!!! :-)

• I'm happy for my outlook on life and my hope for the future!!!

"Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious." ~Bill Meyer

It's also "ALOHA FRIDAY" Everyone!!  If you want to join in the fun? Post your own question on your blog and leave your link at the Aloha Friday post at An Island Life. Then you can visit the other participants if you wish...It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends or see what people are thinking about this week and join in a conversation or two if you like.

"So often time it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never even know we have the key." ~The Eagles, "Already Gone"

My question:  What is your 'key' to happiness?

My answer:   I would say my 'key' is:  learning, growing and giving back to others.  I believe that if you are honest with yourself... you can always see a 'lessen' that helps us grow after each life experience... good or bad.  When we grow, we learn more understanding and compassion.  Motivating us to give back to others.

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine." ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book

Have a Wonderful Weekend, Everyone!
Love & Hugs!

~ Coreen

Is Your Small Business Idea Feasible?

Is Your Small Business Idea Feasible?

Heartbroken Mother who confronted heartless judge.- Her interview on CNN

Mother who confronted Ciavarella after verdict on CNN The Times Leader, Wilkes-Barre & Scranton PA

How heartbreaking!! There doesn't seem to be any justice in that judge walking out of court like he did and that smirk on his face made me sick. Please pray for the youth effected by this judge's greed... and especially for this mother who lost her only child and like she said 'her life'. So sad!!


UPDATE:
Mother in 'kids for cash' scandal says she got justice.  Judge gets 28 years http://t.co/pmTsTzW

Half Full and Aloha Friday my friends....

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"The greatest happiness is to transform one's feelings into action." ~ Madame de Stael

Half Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eye Girl originally started in June 2009.  Now the it is hosted by Sprinkles at Wyldechylde.  We believe that a lot of our happiness is determined by our attitude about the things that happen to us. So by participating, we are deciding to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. We are choosing to concentrate on the positives, instead of dwelling on the negatives. Our Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that. They are a list of the things in our life that have brought us happiness over the past week. We are determined to find the something good in every day. Are you?

"Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give."~Eleanor Roosevelt

For the next week, we challenge you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day.

"That is the key to happiness; to be to others what you'd like them to be to you." ~Anonymous

Last week I said I wasn't going to post personal things for a while.  Well, most of you know that I threw that out the window this week with my 'vent' about some negative experiences recently.  I was frustrated, angry and hurting... so I let out exactly what I was thinking and feeling.  It was my release!

I was upset and not sure what to expect or do next.  However you, my friends from 'all over' the world, came to my side with so much support, understanding, advice, comfort and love!  All of you helped me not only through a stressful and hurtful time; but you also helped me Grow and once again Learn from an unexpected but enlightening experience.  Thank you, I love you All!!!

This week I'm Happy and Thankful for: 

• The support from my Amazing Friends!

• For a sweet invitation to get away this weekend! ;-)

• For being told I was 'full of fire' this week!!

• For the For Sale signs I put in my yard and on my House!!! Everyone pray and think 'Sell, sell, sell'!!! I want to move closer to home and people who love me! :-)

• I'm happy my youngest son loves his Internship & is helping people!!!!  So Proud!!

"The person who has a firm trust in the Supreme Being is powerful in his power, wise by his wisdom, happy by his happiness." ~ Joseph Addison

It's also "ALOHA FRIDAY" Everyone!!  If you want to join in the fun? Post your own question on your blog and leave your link at the Aloha Friday post at An Island Life. Then you can visit the other participants if you wish...It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends or see what people are thinking about this week and join in a conversation or two if you like.

"In seeking happiness for others, you find it for yourself." ~Anonymous

My question:  What have you done for others, that you wish would be done for you?

My answer:   Well... I've always fought for my sons when needed and I have always wanted a man to fight for me with that same passion.   This week I was overwhelmed with the support of people 'fighting' for and supporting me!  It was so uplifting and heart warming! !! I hope I do that for others.  :-)

"Happiness is acceptance." ~Anonymous

Have a wonderful weekend! 
Love & Hugs!

~ Coreen

Gossip and Rumors..

http://www.victorious.org/gossip.htm

We rarely discover how--or even why--a rumor gets started. Sometimes rumors are spread intentionally, sometimes by mistake.  Maybe a someone sees a new car at a neighbors house and assumes they have a new friend.  Or someone reads a blog and assumes they know what's going on in someones life.  Bits of conversation, reads and sightings, all taken out of context. Is it a rumor or more juicy gossip to be spread? Usually it's because someone noisy has assumed things.  Their information isn't reliable enough to even repeat, let alone spread.  Gossips spread rumors anyway, only to hurt people in the end.  How sad!

Sometimes rumors are completely ridiculous, like the ones going around about me right now.  And sometimes they are more believable than the truth to people who have no idea what's it's like to be happy with oneself and ones own life.  They may be innocent, they may be hurtful, but they usually have expected and unexpected consequences.

Many of you have noticed that I've become distant. Have I ever mention that I don't like it here... no I don't really.  I try to stay positive and made the best of it until my son is done with school.  However, it's not my home state and I feel that I will never fit in.  Which has been perfectly fine with me since about the first month, so I've been counting the days until I can move again ever since.  The people here don't really know or understand me.  I tried to make 'real' friends here and I have regretted it every time.   Very bad experiences with people assuming things and even intentionally trying to cause trouble in my life.  Spreading lies, because they assumed things or worst, because they just wanted to cause trouble.  People who didn't even know me!! 

Although I started writing last year, I am still a very private person, because of what I've gone through in the last 6 years.  Yes, I write about finding true love and special friends in my life.  But no one but my sons and I, have any idea who the people I write about truly are.  I thought that was best.  Now I realize that gossip and evil people will assume, even make things up, if you don't tell them what's going on (or not going on) in your life.  

Seriously, these people need lives of their own.  Or at least Happy ones, because I don't think any of them can possibly be happy if they spread gossip and lies.  I've said it before... but I really Hate gossip!  This is why I keep to myself.  This is also ONE of the reasons I'm moving to another state as soon as my youngest son graduates in July and I can sell my house.  I've been planning this for 2 years.  Although I didn't think it's anyone else's business who are what I write about on my blog or what my plans are.  Which by the way, it's just a blog people!  It's my creative writing, my therapy, my voice and my business!  All of which I have a right to in this country and in this way too short a life. 

I just told you all something personal, because I am finally not afraid of anyone ruining my future.   My true friends, know that I am a good person who would Never ever hurt anyone intentionally.  That I started my blog and writing because I truly wanted to help people.  I know I have helped many, by all the private and personal emails I've received over the last year.   However maybe it's time to think of myself and put my writing on hold until I get out of this God forsaken state.  I don't know for sure at this moment in time; however I do know that it has been an incredibly painful and hurtful past week for me, that I did not deserve.  Phone calls have been made and my reputation has been trashed from nothing but lies and assumptins; even though I've never 'crossed' a line or done anything even inappropriate... let alone wrong.  I'm a good mother, good friend and mostly.. I'm a good person!!

What’s Wrong With Gossip?  By Dr. Dale A. Robbins
All scripture is quoted from the New International Version.

Local Marketing – Good News for Small Businesses

Local Marketing – Good News for Small Businesses

Having Grace...

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 “Gracefulness has been defined to be the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul” ~William Hazlitt

What is Grace?  The dictionary offers these definitions:
1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.
2. a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.
3. Divine love and protection bestowed freely on people.

None of us are or will ever be even close to perfect.  I don't expect it in myself or look for perfection in others by any means.  How we live our lives and treat others ... is what's important.  To me if you have Grace, it's truly in your heart... and that is what matters!

Marianne Williamson, in her book Everyday Grace, teaches that Having Grace is having Hope, Finding Forgiveness and Making Miracles happen.  She says that having Grace is having it 'all come together'!  I totally agree.

Having Grace inside of us is when we show kindness, compassion, beauty and love toward others.  It's an attractiveness, charm, gracefulness, and ease that radiates inward and out.

Having Grace towards other people is the ability to overlook a lot in their lives – not that you have to overlook everything, but that you ought to be able to ignore a lot of failures and blemishes and imperfections.  Grace increases your threshold of tolerance instead of increasing your expectations.  Grace makes it possible for people to have lots of second chances.  Just like you and I constantly have from God.

“Grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It's a way to live.” ~Jackie Windspear

I found the following article and poem while researching this post.  They both explain Grace in everyday lives and well worth sharing.  Enjoy!

Grace... vs Karma   by Faith

Grace transcends karma. When you “get” a lesson without either blaming someone or exacting revenge, when you learn how to forgive and say thank you for every experience you have, then you are learning how to apply Grace to your life. When you give up feeling as though you are a victim of circumstances, Grace enters quietly. Grace frees you from having to repeat lessons over and over again. It’s your get out of jail free card!

Grace does not struggle. Grace simply observes. Grace does not judge. Grace sees the perfection in everyone. Grace is the act of being grateful and thankful. Grace finds peaceful solutions to every situation. Grace chooses to walk away from discord, into the arms of love.

Karma means cause and effect. For every action, there is an equal and measurable reaction. For example, you find your spouse and your best friend cheating on you. If you choose to keep the karmic wheel in motion, you would choose to hate them both and exact some form of revenge on them for their deceitfulness. Perhaps you’d play the victim role instead – you’d become bitter and spiteful. You’d never trust anyone again and you’d make sure that everyone knew how horrible your ex-spouse and best friend had treated you. Then in another lifetime, you would have the opportunity to do the same thing to the people who betrayed you…and so on.

If you choose Grace, however, you would work at forgiving them both. Through prayer, meditation, patience and gentleness with yourself, there would no longer be any more lessons like that one, ever again!

The soul is immortal. Everyone is family beyond the veil. We choose our roles and not everyone chooses to be “the good guy” while on earth. However, the villains that we love to hate, are made from the same cosmic dust as everyone else. The victimizers must play their roles convincingly, so that their victims will have an opportunity to either forgive them through the Law of Grace – or not through the Law of Karma.

Countries have karma, too – and cities – and families. There is individual karma and planetary karma. Applying the Law of Grace to every situation can, in time, clear all of it away.

The next time you find yourself in a difficult situation where you have a choice to make, challenge yourself to take a deep breath and choose Grace. Through the act of forgiveness, divine intelligence will help you to let go and transcend the situation. Soon you will find yourself moving forward and you will forget the pain of betrayal. Observe how much lighter you feel after having chosen the path of Grace. ~ by Faith

“Like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you'll reach out and take it. Maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too.” ~ author unknown

Grace...   by: Sri Chinmoy

"Grace is our true meal. A true devotee can really and truly live on God's Grace. The Bible has taught us, "Man does not live by bread alone." This is true; but I wish to say that man can live by God's Grace alone. If a spiritual person, an aspirant, really cares for God's Grace, then I wish to say that he can live by God's Grace constantly and eternally.

God's Grace is God's self-revealing, self-fulfilling eternal Existence. We have to know that it is God's Grace that will give us illumination, liberation and realisation. The infinite life, the eternal life, God's infinite wealth will belong to the aspirant who really cares for the Supreme's Grace, which is our only meal.

Half Full & Aloha Friday Question!

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“Just being happy helps other souls along; Their burdens may be heavy and they not strong; And your own sky will lighten, If other skies you brighten, by just being happy with a heart full of song." ~Ripley D. Saunders

Half Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eye Girl originally started in June 2009.  Now the it is hosted by Sprinkles at Wyldechylde.  We believe that a lot of our happiness is determined by our attitude about the things that happen to us. So by participating, we are deciding to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. We are choosing to concentrate on the positives, instead of dwelling on the negatives. Our Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that. They are a list of the things in our life that have brought us happiness over the past week. We are determined to find the something good in every day. Are you

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not to people or things." ~Albert Einstein

For the next week, we challenge you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day.

"The cornerstone of happiness is accepting yourself as a worthy human being." ~Maxwell Maltz

This is where I usually tell you what I'm up to and Happy about this week.. however I'm experiencing some stalkers at this time and not the usual 'blog' type.  These are people who know where I live.  With this not one but 2 completely unrelated stalker revelations; I've decided not to post personal events in my life right now.  However, I can handle these women, with obvious issues with me, and take care of myself.  So I don't want my friends to be worried.  I will be fine and continue to create uplifting and happy post!  Hope you still enjoy theml!

"Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it." ~Jacques Prévert

It's also "ALOHA FRIDAY" Everyone!!  If you want to join in the fun? Post your own question on your blog and leave your link at the Aloha Friday post at An Island Life. Then you can visit the other participants if you wish...It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends or see what people are thinking about this week and join in a conversation or two if you like.

"Happiness is a form of courage." ~Holbrook Jackson

My question:  What personal courage within you, makes you happy?

My answer:   My courage to attempt new skills.  Such as when I started writing and blogging. :-)

"What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” --Vincent Van Gogh

Have a wonderful weekend! 
Love & Hugs!

~ Coreen

Betrayal can have many forms.

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What is betrayal?  It's the breaking or violation of a presumptive trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals.

In relationships many people, men especially, think that if you don't 'cross that line' and sleep with someone other than the one you share your bed with at night, that you are being a faithful and even loyal partner.  That's not always true though.

When you get into bed with someone you don't love, you are not only betraying yourself, but you're cruelly betraying that other person.  Even if there is no one else in your heart or on your mind.  It's still betrayal; even if you live with or are even married to that person.  It's a cruel, sick and twisted game to play with anyone.

In the case where there is someone else on your heart, thoughts or in your dream, I feel that you are also betraying that person as well.   Even if they don't know how you feel for sure and you never 'crossed that line' with them.  If they do know, and believe me... they usually know, you are hurting them deeply as well.  Again, a cruel, sick and twisted game played not only with the 'truth' but with someone else's heart and life.

Every woman I know, and most men, would rather be hurt with the Truth, than to be either lied to, given half truths or excuses for their behavior.  It makes people feel rejected and used; even if you're married.  No one, male or female, wants to feel either of those.   It's heart breaking and humiliating!'

Each and every day that you live a lie with someone, you are betraying them.  Hurting and humiliating them beyond comprehension.  No one deserves that.  Whether you admit to 'falling out of love' or lie and say you loved them in the first place... at least on a subconscious level, the other person knows.   They know when you are not emotionally connected to them.  They can feel it, see it in your eyes or tell it by your actions.

This is when many times the unconsciously rejected partner becomes insecure, suspicious and assumes many things.  On a certain level, they are right... even if their partner or spouse never crossed that 'physical line' with someone else.  A person's intuition usually knows when they have, even if it's just in their mind or heart.

I've observed far to many friends hurt by this cruel, sick and twisted game.  Whether it's girlfriends or guy friends... the hurt, humiliation and damage is usually the same.  So for those who 'play this game'... look in the mirror; go into your heart and be honest with yourself.  Then finally be honest with the person who deserves the truth!  Act like a man, or woman, and stop playing games with other peoples' lives and hearts!!

Living the Truth
Living a Lie
Pity Sex: Why in the world do we do this?
When and How to Leave Unhealthy Relationships
Manipulative People: Covert Aggressive Personality Disorder 

The Narcissistic Co-dependent Marriage/Relationship Symptoms

Building Character

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"We aim to develop physique, mentality and character in our students; but because the first two are menaces without the third, the greatest of these is character." ~ Joseph Dana Allen, Headmaster

livefically.edu.ms

The CHARACTER COUNTS! approach to character education doesn't exclude anyone. That's why Character Counts.org base their programs and materials on six ethical values that everyone can agree on — values that are not political, religious, or culturally biased. Use the points below to help young people understand the Six Pillars.
For a more detailed discussion of the Six Pillars, consult the book, Making Ethical Decisions.

Trustworthiness
Be honest • Don’t deceive, cheat, or steal • Be reliable — do what you say you’ll do • Have the courage to do the right thing • Build a good reputation • Be loyal — stand by your family, friends, and country

Respect
Treat others with respect; follow the Golden Rule • Be tolerant and accepting of differences • Use good manners, not bad language • Be considerate of the feelings of others • Don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone • Deal peacefully with anger, insults, and disagreements

Responsibility
Do what you are supposed to do • Plan ahead • Persevere: keep on trying! • Always do your best • Use self-control • Be self-disciplined • Think before you act — consider the consequences • Be accountable for your words, actions, and attitudes • Set a good example for others

Fairness
Play by the rules • Take turns and share • Be open-minded; listen to others • Don’t take advantage of others • Don’t blame others carelessly • Treat all people fairly

Caring
Be kind • Be compassionate and show you care • Express gratitude • Forgive others • Help people in need

Citizenship
Do your share to make your school and community better • Cooperate • Get involved in community affairs • Stay informed; vote • Be a good neighbor • Obey laws and rules • Respect authority • Protect the environment • Volunteer
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"Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are to some extent a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it piece by piece—by thought, choice, courage and determination." ~ John Luther

Character Counts.org

Good Character.com

Character in Action.com

4-H Building Character activities for Children

52 Character Building Thoughts for Children

4-H and Military Partnerships Character Education

Every Monday Matters - Donate Clothes

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FACTS

20 billion pounds of clothing and textiles are thrown away every year—an average of 68 pounds per person.

1.5 billion pairs of unworn or barely worn shoes are lying in closets.

Over 36.2 million of the U.S. population lives in poverty.

On average, 3 million men, women, and children are homeless at some point each year.

50% of all homeless women and children are fleeing domestic violence, usually with only the clothes on their backs.

Clothing donations to qualified charitable organizations are tax deductible.

TAKE ACTION TODAY

Contact a local shelter or organization that receives clothing donations and ask about any specific clothing needs.

Look through your closet for clothing, coats, shoes, suits, blankets, pillows, purses, briefcases, umbrellas, and scarves that are in good condition and that you haven’t used in a year or more.

Organize a clothing drive at work, school, place of worship, or in your neighborhood.

Wash or dry-clean items. Don’t donate items that are stained or torn.

Fold and pack clothing in boxes, attach appropriate labels, and then deliver them.

Consider giving directly to a homeless person.

YOU MATTER

Donating clothes is one of the easiest ways to affect someone’s life in a very tangible and significant way. You can help someone stay warm, wear shoes without holes, dress properly for a job interview, or don a new outfit for school. Do you really need all those clothes filling up your closet?…Millions of other people do.

Goodwill Locator

How to Organize a Clothing Drive

Monday used to be the least favorite day of the week, but that is changing. EMM is based on the idea that every Monday people can make a difference in their life and the lives of those around them. No matter how big or small the actions, they matter. And not only do people have the power to make change, they have a social responsibility to do so. Not out of guilt, but out of an appreciation for every living thing in the world. Together, each person can make a difference in the world and raise the collective consciousness, thereby creating a legacy worth participating in…one Monday at a time.

For more information about the EMM movement visit: http://www.everymondaymatters.com/

We all have Choices...

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We all have free will, so we all have at least 2 paths or choices in our life in any given situation.  Whether minor or Life Changing.  When the people we are trying to help keep choosing paths that are not good for them and won't bring them happiness; what should we do?

I have a friend who keeps saying they want to be happy.  Then just when I think they are following their hearts and allowing them self to be happy, they suddenly get pulled back into unhealthy and unhappy situations again and again... going down the path that everyone including them, knows won't bring them happiness.  It's very frustrating and heartbreaking to see this happen... and it happens every single time. 

So what can a friend do?  I understand what this friend is going through, because I've been there.  However, I didn't have a support system or the knowledge that I have now.  My self-esteem was also very low back then.  This person is very intelligent, can support them self, has support and in the end... I think knows better.  But they keep going back for more unhappiness and even abuse... out of guilt and unhealthy misplaced loyalty. 

This certainly isn't the first time I've been in this situation as a friend.  In fact, this is the 4th time in 6 years that I have tried to 'save' a friend.  Every other time I was told one thing... that they wanted help or that I was helping them.  Only to discover through my own misfortune, that they were just using my friendship for strength to get them through.  That they had no real desire to change or change their situation. 

I thought each time of course that I was being a good friend, and I was.  However, I also thought/believed each time that the lop-sided friendship of my giving and them taking, would balance out once they took care of their situation.  Whatever that was.  To get out of a bad relationship, stop drinking, being depressed, etc. etc. etc.  Only each of those times, that never happened.  I gave without getting anything back and I was left feeling empty... in fact drained and even used.  Used as a friend...  for support, comfort and strength. 

This last experience I again was being a good friend to someone who needed me.  They did!  However, when I thought I was giving them strength to change their situation.  I now feel that I was only giving them strength to endure their situation, not get out or change it.  Because they once again seem to have been pulled back in... out of guilt or fear and have chosen the path that once again won't bring them happiness.

The last time this friend called me, just to hear my voice in order to give them 'strength' and 'comfort', it really upset me.  Very upset, worried, hurt and even angry after I hung up the phone... with both myself and my friend.  With myself, because I realized the pattern of being used in a friendship.  I've been worried sick about my friend, losing sleep and caring too much once again.  Upset with my friend because they should know how worried I am, that I have a heart condition and don't need the extra stress in my life.  Yet they keep taking my support, draining my caring energy... while giving me none of those things in return.  

They used to give great support and inspiration to me.  I once felt we had a balanced relationship... but that was very early in our friendship.  Somewhere along the way I let the friendship become unbalanced.  That is my fault, because I let it.

Although I care and understand what this friend is going through, because I've been there... I can not help them.  Not really help them anyway.  Because you can't truly help someone if they are not ready, willing or able to help themselves.  At least not yet.  I continue to pray that they will someday. 

It's heartbreaking to see a friend or anyone, go through this.  But what can, or should, a friend do in these situations?   I'm now thinking long and hard about the choices I've made and wondering what path I should now choose.

When to Help and When to Walk Away
When and How to Leave Unhealthy Relationships

Love them or Leave them
Who is my Twin Flame?

When and How to Leave Unhealthy Relationships

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 People often stay far too long in relationships that they no longer desire. They do this out of guilt, fear, and even out of a sense of 'loyalty' to their partner. Even in cases where abuse exists; whether it's physical, verbal or stress through constant arguing.  All are damaging!


Many people find themselves staying simply for their partner's benefit.  Disregarding their own needs or desires because of how they were raised or what they went through in their childhoods.  Such as family abandoning you or another family member  (spiritually, mentally, emotionally or physically).  Along with remembering what our parents told us about ourselves, words that are still in our mind and body (many of us are still ill as a result of old words or beliefs). 



I personally know men with unhealthy 'loyalty' issues developed from belief systems instilled in them at an early age.  Such as loyalty to our families no matter what.  Although 'noble' in an age of 'dead beat' dads, it is still very painful to watch these 'good' men and fathers to be unhappy and even suffer at times.

Any belief pattern or conditioning that keeps us 'stuck' and unmoving/growing as a human being is unhealthy for us.  When loyalty to someone is dangerous to our health or well being, it is just wrong in my opinion.  Remember, I've been there and done that.  So I'm talking from personal experience as well as watching friends go through similar situations.

I have several friends, male and female, with unhealthy loyalty perspectives to partners who literally drain the life out of them.  Most suffer from chronic fatigue or a disease developed from the stress, that dis-empowers them physically. 

I've know first hand and it's like air being taken out of the balloon; only it is your energy leaking out until you have nothing left for your self--no healthy boundaries.  Again, as a result of unhealthy loyalty issues they developed from their childhoods. 

Like women, men in unhealthy and unhappy relationships, may feel blue or may not get pleasure from activities they once enjoyed. But a few other things commonly show up in men that may not be recognized as signs and symptoms of problems. 

■ Escapist behavior is the most common.  This includes: spending a lot of time at work, on sports, stalling or avoiding going home, 'over' volunteering to be away from home more, and even living their lives vicariously through on-line resources such as social websites, blogs, etc. etc. etc....

Men are usually confronted with greater emotional adjustment problems than women, if and when they do decide to pursue a separation or breakup.  The reasons for this are related to the loss of intimacy, the loss of social connection, reduced finances (including giving up at least half of all they have worked hard for), along with the common interruption of the parental role.

The following article explains many of the relationship issues, reasons behind them, where unhealthy loyalty comes from and most importantly, how to get out of an Unhealthy / Unhappy relationship. 

Should You Leave Him (or Her)? How to Know When to Breakup
Sometimes, it can be difficult to know when to leave a relationship. Perhaps things aren't great, but they're not too bad either. It's easy to sit on the fence for a while and just let fate take over, but it's better to make a deliberate choice to stay or go. When making this decision, an important question to ask yourself is, "Is this relationship unhealthy?"

Unhealthy relationships follow identifiable patterns. Though circumstances always vary from couple to couple, they are often characterized by:

- Frequent arguments

- Frequent criticism on either side

- Inability to tolerate the other's personal quirks

- Intolerance of the other's friends or family

- Unfair expectations

- Hyper-sensitivity by one or both partners

- Intolerance of occasional lapses of attention

- Psychological problems that lead to behavioral ones

- Inability to address conflicts in a mature fashion

- Excessive jealousy and mistrust (they assume, over-react and blow everything out of proportion)

- Extreme insecurity or major obstacles involving low self-esteem

- One or both partners have addictive or destructive tendencies

- Few, if any, mutual friends

- One partner gets easily upset over unimportant or petty things

- Excessive clingy-ness

- One or both partners feels as if they are "walking on eggshells" much of the time

- Difficulty discussing feelings

This is by no means an exhaustive list, and just represents some of the traits that characterize an unhealthy relationship.

Your significant other is supposed to be a source of comfort in the world, not a persistent source of stress and anxiety. If your relationship offers no sense of peace or safety, it's time to end it. If the problems escalate to physical or emotional abuse, the need to breakup is even more urgent.

People often stay far too long in relationships that they no longer desire. They do this out of guilt, or a sense of loyalty to their partner (even in cases where abuse exists). Many people find themselves staying simply for their partner's benefit.

Why Can't You Leave?

Relationships are a choice. Or at least, they should be. Sometimes, we realize that a relationship is no longer working, but we stay anyway. There are many reasons why people stay stuck in relationships they no longer want, including:
* Guilt -- You can't bear the thought of hurting our partner

* Loyalty -- You've invested so much and have a long history with them, even if it's a bad history

* Misplaced priorities -- You feel that your partner's needs are more important than your own

* Expectations - - You don't want to disappoint your family or your partner's family by breaking up

* Financial or logistical reasons -- You don't have the money to leave, you live together, or you have a child together (sometimes a good reason to maintain a relationship, but not always)

* He or she will "freak out" -- You fear your partner's reaction to the news

If your partner stands in the way of you living a fulfilling life, you probably need to leave. That doesn't mean disregarding commitments and responsibilities, but you should never feel trapped in a life you don't want.  All relationships require some amount of sacrifice, but giving up the possibility for happiness is not part of the deal.     Author: Michael Freeman 
Read more: www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles

If you want to leave your partner but have too much fear and anxiety at the thought of breaking up, there is help. Check out the links below.

Michael Freeman, M.A., helps women and men get FREEDOM from unhappy relationships.

google image.com

Should you leave him/her? How to know when to breakup.
Why Battered Men Stay in Abusive Relationships
Children Need their Dads too!
Single Dad Financial Help.com
Mediation Services
mayoclinic/male-depression
The Violence of Verbal Abuse
Living a Lie
When to Help a Friend and When to Walk Away
What STRESS Does to Us
Should Unhappy Parents Stay Together
Manipulative People: Covert Aggressive Personality Disorder

The Narcissistic Co-dependent Marriage/Relationship Symptoms

Half Full & Aloha Friday!

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“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence” ~ Aristotle

Half Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eye Girl originally started in June 2009.  Now the it is hosted by Sprinkles at Wyldechylde.  We believe that a lot of our happiness is determined by our attitude about the things that happen to us. So by participating, we are deciding to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. We are choosing to concentrate on the positives, instead of dwelling on the negatives. Our Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that. They are a list of the things in our life that have brought us happiness over the past week. We are determined to find the something good in every day. Are you

"Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits." ~ Thomas Jefferson

For the next week, we challenge you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day.

"Be happy. It's one way of being wise.” ~ Sidonie Gabrielle

This is where I usually tell you what I'm Very Happy about this week.. however my children have asked me not to mention them, so I'll have to think of some new answers from now on... outside my usual 'mom' box.  That's going to be hard, but good for me I'm sure. :-)

• I'm happy to have had 1 1/2 Snow days this week!  Love working for a college.  :-)

• I'm happy for safe travel & warm clothes this week!

• I'm happy for lots of rest!   I really needed some this week!

"Gather the crumbs of happiness and they will make you a loaf of contentment." ~ Anonymous

It's also "ALOHA FRIDAY" Everyone!!  If you want to join in the fun? Post your own question on your blog and leave your link at the Aloha Friday post at An Island Life. Then you can visit the other participants if you wish...It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends or see what people are thinking about this week and join in a conversation or two if you like.

"Don't wait for people to be friendly, show them how." ~ Author Unknown 

My question:  How do you let someone know you care?

My answer:   I like to write and/or create blog post!  I know that several special people read my blog and  hopefully they know when I'm talking to them specifically. :-)

"Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know they are always there." ~ Author Unknown

Have a wonderful weekend! 
Love & Hugs!

~ Coreen

Don't Ever Give Up!

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“Don't ever give up on something or someone that you can't go a full day without thinking about.” ~ author unkown

http://www.blingcheese.com/image/code/9/love+dreams.htm

Don't give Up!

Your Dreams May Be Closer

Than You Think!

There may be times when you feel

as if you have taken a million steps towards

your dreams, and acted on your plans, only to find

yourself in the same place that you began from.

At times like this, you must not give up.

You must continue on. Though you may feel

lost, bewildered, and alone, continue to believe

in yourself. Do not allow discouragement and

doubt to blur your vision and wash away

your dreams. Visualize your way beyond the

detours, standstills, and obstacles.

You will realize your dreams. You have

worked hard and taken so many productive

steps in a positive direction that you are bound

to succeed. Whatever the hurt of the moment

may be, it will pass. Tomorrow is always a

new dawn. Today, you must pause, rest, catch

your breath, and then look ahead. Each step

will bring you closer to your dreams. The

rainbows and the love that you deserve are in

sight. Happiness is just around the next turn.

~ Vicki Silvers ~